So, we all know that cats gotta puke. Sooner or later, it’s the the hairball boogie. Doesn’t even have to be a hairball, for that matter. Sometimes they just puke. Noshing on grass’ll do it. Overeating’ll do it. Overdrinking’ll do it. Crazy excitement’ll do it. Sometimes I’d swear they do it just to keep in practice, you know?
By the way, to forestall any questions about my cat’s condition, she’s strong as an ox, glows with health, has the vet’s stamp of approval, and doesn’t really hurl all that much. I’m just saying.
Anyway, there herself was luxuriating in my lap as I tapped away at the keyboard, and all of a sudden I noticed that characteristic full-body peristaltic-wave undulating pre-puke thing they do, and I thought, Hmm. Cats immobilise when in their puke-throes. I wonder if my leg’s gonna get it. But she was, in a word, heroic: in a never-before seen act of supreme will, she overcame her immobilisation and leapt to the floor. I was impressed by that, you can be sure. Still, the timing was a bit off. I’d never seen a cat chunder in mid-air before.
I thought she was trying to tell me something by waking me up with that well-known refrain, “glung, glung, glung,” but it wasn’t until I swung my legs out of bed, placed my feet upon the floor, and noticed how unusually wet the carpet was, that I realized just how close we had truly become.
I’ve been noticing the banner ads. Strangely, the first one was for numerology. The next was predictably for cat health. This latest was for “Dying Cat Ringtone”. That’s just ill.
About 35 years have passed yet I still vividly recall awakening one morning, lying on my back, and hearing the sound of my sister’s cat Inky starting to vomit.
Alas, I also felt those characteristic accompanying tremors as she was on my stomach and facing me.
I opened my eyes just in time to see her deposit a medium diameter gooey beige puddle of puke onto my chest.
What animal besides a cat gets embarrassed? So weird.
Ever seen an otherwise dignified (at least in its own mind) feline miscalculate a jump then look around to see if anyone noticed?
My cat, Buster, has never vomited on me. Near me, yes, but never on me.
However, I love Buster’s proud look, even standing just a bit taller, as he greets me first thing in the morning to present to me the fine gift of a mouse, dead, still containing most of it’s parts (though some displaced).
I don’t care for it as much when he falls asleep while waiting to give me this wonderful present. Then, as I step on his gift, he wakes to see me disrespecting his proud achievement. The look of disgust he is able to clearly exhibit towards me at that moment is truly remarkable. And he’s able to maintain that attitude until his dinner time. Then he kindly forgives me provided I promptly feed him.
