I used a portion of bamboo chopstick to restore a very old and valuable bamboo flyrod last year, the owner was in a rush and he wanted it like…well, chop-chop. It was actually very fine work, I didn’t stick it to him in the least. 
Because they won’t work.
I’ve given up. In getting the job done, nowadays I just say, “Do you know the one that goes like this: Dydle ee deedle dee deedle dee dum…?”. If they reply, “Oh, that’s ‘The Night We Spent In Jail’,” and I say, “I know it as ‘The Walls Of Liscarroll’,” then maybe we have a possibly interesting conversation.
Yes, and yes. 
You’ve tried! Brave, doughty Emm. I knew we could count on you.
But you could hold the hair up with stuff that works (pins or even a snood, perhaps), and then just put in the knife and fork only for the look of it. Right? Maybe? You totally should. 
Hair forks have an extremely long tradition of successful use world wide.
No, no, you gotta stick the handle end in. The tines ARE the decorative element. Display 'em.
Please don’t tell anyone I’m doughty. If I can manage it, I’ll give it a try (possibly on a model,) and post a pic later.
I, for one, await the outcome with rapt anticipation. I’ve wanted to see that for years. 
Who would we tell? Who do we know? It’s not like anyone could make it the cover of a CD for international sale or anything.
Could be worse. You could be stout.
then she’d be somebody else, wouldn’t she 
I have a Trangia teapot that is short and stout.
Well…the model is away at the moment, and a big tree branch bashed my hood and cracked my windshield this afternoon…so, pics at a future time.
Mutey, Mutey, Mutey. If you’re in it for the money you should reconsider your place in the high-stakes world of haute couture. One way or the other, the cat will escape the bag. This is the internet, after all.
Anyone can collect money, that is so plebian. I am after much bigger fish. And not those candy sushi fish either.
I am so glad I’m not that guy (or girl, whichever it is).
I am fussy about kitchen layout. I truly cannot figure out what the designers when they chose the layout of our one-butt kitchen. The fixtures are impossible to clean the ergonomics of sink horrible. They placed the stove so that it scorches the side of the refrigerator, which can only be opened by almost stepping out of the room because they chose one that opens to the left instead of the right. When we get a house I think the first rooms to be renovated will be the kitchen and the bathroom. The only table space is barely big enough to hold a dish rack.
Bathrooms should all have conveniently placed bookcases, it should be code.
My house is small, so my kitchen is small but that’s still no excuse for whoever placed the stove by the back door. You can have the oven open or you can have the door open but not both at the same time. On the positive side, the door has a nice window so a cook can keep an eye out for people barging through the back door. It’s happened. A gusty wind could blow the pilot lights out but I fixed that problem.