Howdy,
My sister recently asked me to play the whistle on a few tunes during her upcoming wedding. Needless to say, I’m honored and pleased. I’m also scared sh**less. You see, the only time I ever tried to play a musical instrument (a guitar) in a “performance” venue, my stage fright was so bad that I lost all control of my fingers. I could still sing, but the guitar was purely a visual ornament. So, naturally, I fear a similar situation with the whistle. Is loss of motor function a normal side effect of stage fright, or am I just “lucky”? Any tips (other than the obvious “go play in front of other people a lot”)?
I only experienced stage fright the first time I had to play in a small band in front of a large audience. Even before we went on, I was quivering from head to toe. I had a little time before going on, so I went off by myself and ran through some Taijiquan (Tai-Chi) routines for a couple of minutes. That calmed me down pretty well. After that, everything seemed easy.
At a wedding, you could always try the time-honored technique of imagining the audience naked–or, maybe just the bridesmaids. (I would have said the bride, but not under these circumstances. )
play, play, and play (I detest the word “practice”) so that your fingers can do the song while you are unconcious!
Can you play with your eyes shut? Seriously, if you aren’t “looking” at the congregation, you may talk yourself into thinking you are alone at home.
Can you have someone with you for "moral’ support. Perhaps a guitarist or someone to quietly back you up and keep you “on beat”. If you are concentrating listening to someone else, you may forget that you are performing.
Or - since you are doing this for your sister, look at ONLY her and play for her.
Heh. Bridesmaids probably won’t work, either. They’re likely to be my other sister and my sister-in-law.
Actually, I’ll be accompanying the piano. At least, I think I will. The pianist is arranging the music, and I’m not sure whether she’ll be playing while I am. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to rehearse together until the day before the wedding. (I’m in WA; the pianist and the wedding are in TN.)
In some ways it is tougher to play with another musician, in some ways more reassuring. In lieu of practicing together you might be able to use the phone or Internet to set up some kind of sharing of recordings. Another idea is to you can mail cassette tapes or video tapes to each other, so you each have a sense of each other’s preferred rhythm. If both musicians use metronomes to practice that is another idea to try and synchronize before the day of.
There are any number of ways to over come stage fright. Preparation is a must, both physical practice on the instrument and mental walk throughs are valuable. Practicing the day of the event is a must in this case, otherwise I find it best to be ready ahead of time and focus on mental walk throughs the day of.
One technique is to select a confident role model and then pretend that you are playing the role of this confident person. Some examples might be Captain Picard (good one because he also fakes playing whistle in two episodes), or Governor Arnold Schwartzenagger.
Deep breathing can help you relax just before going on. Sometimes it helps me to play just the first few notes of the piece moments before performing. This can be done blowing over the airway instead of into it, so there is barely an audible sound.
Some secure thoughts for you are that mistakes are average–even the most polished professionals occassionally make mistakes. The audience is on your side and wants you to succeed. If you do make a mistake, smile and keep playing.
In addition, here are a couple of threads that might be worth reading:
Perhaps the officiator could be in his/her undies.
I was afraid I’d royally screw up a whistle duet I played w/my daughter this summer, at the annual Nags Head Band and cousin Alan’s birthday gathering. (Not as big a deal as a wedding, mind you, but there are 30-some relatives watching)
Surprisingly I was able to block it all out and focus on the music.
Once I gave a short dramatic Mary Magdalene reading in church. Again, I thought there was a probability that I would sound nervous, but I pulled it off by focusing on a candle sconce on the opposite wall of the sanctuary.
I think having the pianist accompany you will help.
My biggest problem with stage fright is breath control. Even when I read in church, which I’ve done for ages, I have trouble breathing properly. It’s not stage fright, really…just nerves, I guess.
I’ve been playing before, and more recently lecturing to, audiences that range from a handful to very large auditoriums seating thousands since I was a child in the mid 60s. I used to get an odd rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights feeling when I played sometimes. My fingers felt leaden, my throat dry and wooden. I had an odd sensation of the whole band playing in slow motion and me playing badly out of time with them. It must have been an illusion because they sure told me when I was really out of time.
I still get nervous before I lecture to a new group of students, especially a large group for the first time. Once we’ve sized eachother up I’m usually fine, but, I feel that if I weren’t nervous, I’d never establish the rapport needed to lecture well.
I still have rolling-tape nervousness in recording studios. Something I can play through without a hitch if the tape isn’t rolling I stuff up as soon as someone presses play. This even happens to me in home studios where I am not playing under time constraints. It also happens to many of my friends. We try to calm eachother down and make a joke out of it. (This happens to the very best; Peter Sellers was notorious for getting the giggles as soon as the camera started rolling.) I think recording engineers ought to have degrees in psychology.
People have been giving you good advice. My suggestion is that you will perform best with a little nervousness but you need to control it tipping over into panic. Try to just accept that you will be nervous and that it is normal and healthy to be nervous. If you can start off with a phrase that is easy, will give you confidence and will catch the attention of the audience, and then just forget the audience and lose yourself in the music you’ll be fine.
A while back I performed for about 50 friends at a function, after only having played the whistle for about 4 months and never having played or performed an instrument before that. What helped me the most was to play the tunes for a few friends beforehand, in the order I was going to play them for the performance, pretending it was the real thing and that I had to nail the tunes right then.
I got surprisingly nervous just in these little performances, but I learned two things: one, my breathing tenses up when I get nervous while playing the whistle, so I knew I’d have to be aware of that, and two, I made a few mistakes, but the overall sound was fine anyways. Just knowing ahead of time that I’d have a problem with my breath was the biggest help, because I was able to work on my breathing and I wasn’t surprised when it happened during the performance, I was able to deal with it and not freak out because I was short of breath.
I ended up doing fine, even though I was nervous as heck in the minutes before I had to play.
So if you know what’s going to happen ahead of time to you through some smaller performance experiences, and exactly what it feels like inside and in your hands or wherever, and that it’s okay because you can adjust, I think you’ll more likely be able to deal with it and adjust during the actual performance.
Try and find opportunities to play in front of people, like family and friends. Just say you really need a runthrough and do it, with little explanations or apologies. Best if some strangers are present.
I fought horrid stagefright for years while playing solo classical guitar, so I can relate to fumbling fingers. I played a lot with my eyes closed which worked to a point, unless I got disturbed, then I opened them and felt lost on the fingerboard. Sigh…it really was bad. I got over it, oddly enough, playing lots of folk music at school assemblies and such. Also, working in classrooms, prepping kids to sing songs. You just get to the point where you are in a leadership position and you accept that its okay to be the one in the spotlight.
John,
Eat a banana (for the potassium) before your performance. Many of the classical flute players do this (or they hit the beta blockers hard), to calm themselves.
Pick a couple of tunes you know pretty well, and just go out in a public park and start to play. You probably won’t have a big audience at any one moment, and you’ll probably never see any of these people ever again, but it will get you used to playing in front of strangers.
At the wedding, you will have an audience of happy people having a good time, so they will already be primed to love whatever you do. The vast majority of them probably don’t play any instrument so even if you think you’re playing poorly, they will be impressed. Really . Main thing is to have a good time with it. Be sure to use your best whistle too…
This is a really interesting thread. I always get an adrenaline rush in front of a crowd of any size. The key is to turn the adrenaline into positive energy rather than nervous energy. I speak before crowds, and I’m often nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs, but somehow right before I start, something clicks and I get in a zone. Back when I was playing the dulcimer a lot, I invariably played the best in front of crowds. Not only that, it always seemed like a 20-minute set was over in 30 seconds.
However, I always seem to play worst during flute lessons. My chest tightens, so I can’t take a deep breath (deadly for a flute player). I forget where to breathe, then forget where to pick up the tune afterward. My embouchure thghtens up and I can’t hit low notes.
I second Paul’s suggestion to play a couple of tunes somewhere public. I was waiting for my wife once recently, and she was late so I picked up whistle and tooted for half an hour or so. Not too many people took notice, but a couple of guys commented how cool it was. I also occasionally get kudos playing in the car with the windows open. It only takes one or two compliments to really build the confidence.
I agree with this completely. I have played solo classical guitar and solo and ensemble flamenco guitar in concert. I learned, from the comments of the audience members after the shows, that very few knew enough about the music to recognize “mistakes”. And the musicians in the audience know what it’s like to play in front of a crowd and therefore won’t criticize.
One thing that helps me when I’m playing solo is talking to the audience. I tell them about the music and try to make a few jokes. It warms them up and calms me down. Obviously you can’t do that during the wedding but you might want to try it another time.
Mike
The more you play in front of people, the easier it gets. You’ll still be nervous sometimes–even seasoned professional performers still get nervous sometimes–but you’ll learn to play well anyway.
Having to play being nervous really isn’t that different than playing with an upset stomach, or with a cold, or when you haven’t had a chance to eat at all that whole day. It’s not comfortable but it’s very doable.
If you make a mistake, don’t stop, and never ever try to go back and replay the note or phrase you just destroyed.
A wrong note played weakly and uncertainly, especially if you stop right after it, screams “MISTAKE!!!” to the listener.
A wrong note played with confidence, no break in rhythm, and no pause, is simply a melodic variation.
Also stand or sit very straight, with your arms up and out a bit from your body. Slouching only makes you feel worse if you’re nervous. Using good posture will project and give you the appearance of control and professionalism…no matter how bad your knees are knocking. It also helps you get good breaths, which can be a special challenge if you’re nervous.
Play the entire piece(s) at the dress rehersal. It will give you a little practise and ease your nerves about playing for the wedding party. They’ll be “with you” during the performance instead of just being part of the audience.
So, naturally, I fear a similar situation with the whistle. Is loss of motor function a normal side effect of stage fright, or am I just “lucky”? Any tips (other than the obvious “go play in front of other people a lot”)?
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