I’ve been without internet access for well over a month. My Imac crashed and burned in the most spectacular event of 2005. I tried to swallow the phone jack and gain access to the web via my digestive system, but no avail. Anyway, I’m now shocked to find new message boards in a new off topic section. Looking forward to frittering away time on Chiff and Fipple again.
I missed you guys.
Let’s see…in the past month…hmmm… okay.
My divinity was revealed, Gilder joined the Republican Party, Simon was initiated into a messianic yet orgiastic cult, Dale got a Harley, Martin changed his name to Isaac Islam and applied for Algerian citizenship, Aderyn found a bottle of Merlot so large that she fell into it, Serpent married Stacy Alba, StevieJ bought stock in Associated Music Publishers and Alan got a job line dancing in Flatley’s next production…
That was on the first day that you were gone…
And p.s., I found a cool elitist statement by a big stinkin’ leftie for my signature line.
You forgot that I was exposed as an informant for Spillane.org but kept my log-in by agreeing to weave the excess chiff into blankets for flame-war orphans, Susnfx won a Pulitzer for the above-mentioned exposé, Bloomfield and Gunther were revealed to be third-cousins twice removed from each other, each of who can claim relation to the Merovingian kings of Europe, and Amar didn’t get married. Or think about Heidi Klum.
Nanohedron pondered, and deemed it best to begin referring to himself in the third person.
Welcome back.
Yes, the Merovingians. How could I have forgotten??? Gadzooks.
Cranberry got really sick and bitter.
Thats more like it!
Be sure not to miss the Lambchop - Cranberry bout. Entering it’s 10th round.
Welcome back!
Did anyone tell you about the first annual Chiff and Fipple toga party which was held last weekend? 
(Toga optional.)
Oh dear!
…and I thought some of them were just shy… 
That was you?
Well, you see, I spilled salsa on my toga, and people kept asking me if I was bleeding, and I got tired of answering the same question over and over…