Maybe we, you and I, could at some time have experienced performance anxiety, a nervous, edgy feeling, just before a music performance.
However, here we are, on the Internet, where millions upon millions of others could be watching our performance, yes, right now!
OK, so now that we have done that, just what reason could there be to have any anxiety before a music performance?
Theyāre not actually looking at us, hearing us, experiencing every nuance of our exhibition - this medium is only a partial exposure over which we feel we retain far more control than we do when giving a live performance. E.g. I wonāt press āsubmitā on this post until Iām fairly happy I have written all I wish to express, done so effectively, checked it and edited it - and even then I can re-access it and modify it.
When I get up on a stage in front of an audience who have concrete expectations of me, even if those expectations are not based on prior experience of my particular personal accomplishment, the only real control I have is over my actual performance (assuming I have done the groundwork to have control); the stakes are far higher, one is far more exposed if something goes awry, there are elements beyond oneās control that can far more immediately and directly affect the performance and its success or failure than, say when doing a studio recording (different set of pressures there!), making a fairly casual home recording or writing an internet post. By āputting outā in that kind of context (public concert), one is seeking to please and inviting approbation if deserved, or criticism, in a much simpler and more intense way than through impersonal media; hence the elation at success, disappointment at failure (by oneās own standards or by being rejected by others) and the fear of failure (which entails its own risks if overwhelming, but can provide an āedgeā if at the right level) are significantly greater.
The transaction is a related one, but very different in detail and scale.
Iāll be the first to admit that I have a massive problem with stage fright. Iāve played guitar for 20 years and I can count the number of time Iāve actually played with other people in the room perhaps on the fingers of two hands. Speaking of fingers, they just donāt do what theyāre supposed to if anyone else is around.
As for flute, Iāve never even tried. Iām sure it would be the same. In fact, since I have only a fraction of experience on flute compared to guitar, and Iām far from confident about my playing, I predict Iād do much worse. Although playing in an actual impromptu Session is a dream of mine, I imagine itāll likely stay that way.
I have difficulty maintaining composure if my wife is anywhere else in the house. If Iām alone I have to close the window in case anyone might hear me. I canāt concentrate otherwise.
Iām in the middle of reading āThe Inner Game of Musicā, as was suggested by several posts of this nature on this board. With any luck itāll help.
As for posting clips on the 'net, itās just me and the microphone alone in the room with the door closed (or at least thatās the way it seems at the time). If I thought too much about all the people who might hear me Iād likely screw that up too.
Dear Drew:
I can sure understand where youāre at about performing in public. Iāve had my moments of falling flat on my face performing in public but Iāve also had way more beautiful moments. Itās not like we could kill anyone with our playing.
Uh, you donāt play the pipes, do you? I donāt think that goes 100 percent for the pipes. 
when i have a gig with my band i will experience an upset stomach several hours before i play and im generally anxiousā¦which means before the gig i usually spend alot of time in the bathroom and i cant sit still while im in there once i get on stage its over with and im fine.
if im playing a solo gig i dont usually get the pre-gig jitters. i havent found a way to get rid of the nerves. i just deal with it until the show starts.
Iām with rebelpiper, I have had this sickness before performing affliction for years. I even used to get ill before playing football, I was so tense. What I have found is that I will enjoy the playing more, (once I start) the more I feel sick to the stomach!
I was watching my friend play in his band last night. They started into a set and stuffed up, they had changed the key but the guitarist forgot and started as normal and they ground to a halt.
So what happened next? They had a good laugh (along with the audience) and explained what had happened and got right back into it. Rapturous applause followed because they had proceeded to play the set flawlessly!
So I think what it all boils down to is that we have a fear of making mistakes in public, but if we can brush off the mistake as no big deal then everything else afterwards can be done with no feeling of fear or pressure.
What causes the anxiety in the first place? I donāt know. I am confident in my playing ability and know what I have to do when I go out to play, but something still knots up in my stomach and I have to shoot off to the toilets before I vomit. I canāt explain why this happens, all I know is that it vanishes once I am out there playing.
They used to call it ābutterfliesā when I was a kid. You feel like you are almost ill before a contest. It just shows that you are ready to go. Once you make first contact, they go away instantly, and it always did feel really good to plow into the opposition and give him a good āhelloā to the chops. That was in American football, and was a great way to set the tone for the rest of the evening. The worse I felt, the better I played.
It still works to this day. If I am really ready for something (other than a visit to the dentist), I can still feel the little buggers ramping up. If I donāt feel them, then I am not going to be at my best.
I went to the JavaOne conference a few years ago. This is a big giant geek conference where Sun shows off all its cool Java technology.
Anyway, during the big keynote theyāre up there giving a demo and suddenly something goes wrong. Thereās a tech guy up there manning the computer. The kept the big screen on his monitor. You could see him launch the command line, run a bunch of scripts, run the build again, do this, do that. The keynote speaker is sweating and trying to cover. Itās possible the thing isnāt going to work at all, you know.
The techies in the audience understand every command and every line of code feverishly running across the screen and every little thing the guy is doing to fix the bug. But it was truly amazing. The build failed a couple of times, then finally the output reads:
BUILD SUCCESSFUL
Everybody cheers.
He launches the demo and the rest of the presentation works flawlessly. Nobody remembered the demo though. They remembered the awesome save by that tech guy. If you are a techie you will understand.
Sometimes a good save is better than a flawless performance.
Thatās a great story, Diane.
A friend of mine used to put it another way: Bad throw but good catch. I agree that the overall impression is all that matters.