On Death And Dying

Another Dog’s Death

For days the good old bitch had been dying, her back
pinched down to the spine and arched to ease the pain,
her kidneys dry, her muzzle white. At last
I took a shovel into the woods and dug her grave

in preparation for the certain. She came along,
which I had not expected. Still, the children gone,
such expeditions were rare, and the dog,
spayed early, knew no nonhuman word for love.

She made her stiff legs trot and let her bent tail wag.
We found a spot we liked, where the pines met the
field.
The sun warmed her fur as she dozed and I dug;
I carved her a safe place while she protected me.

I measured her length with the shovel’s long handle;
she perked in amusement, and sniffed the heaped-up
earth.
Back down at the house, she seemed friskier,
but gagged, eating. We called the vet a few days later.

They were old friends. She held up a paw, and he
injected a violet fluid. She swooned on the lawn;
we watched her breathing quickly slow and cease.
In a wheelbarrow up to the hole, her warm fur shone.

John Updike


Will O’Ban

From THE GARDEN OF PROSERPINE
Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837-1909)

She waits for each and other,
She waits for all men born;
Forgets the earth her mother,
The life of fruits and corn;
And spring and seed and swallow
Take wing for her and follow
Where summer song rings hollow
And flowers are put to scorn.

There go the loves that wither,
The old loves with wearier wings;
And all dead years draw thither,
And all disastrous things;
Dead dreams of days forsaken,
Blind buds that snows have shaken,
Wild leaves that winds have taken,
Red strays of ruined springs.

We are not sure of sorrow,
And joy was never sure;
To-day will die to-morrow;
Time stoops to no man’s lure;
And love, grown faint and fretful,
With lips but half regretful
Sighs, and with eyes forgetful
Weeps that no loves endure.

From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives for ever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

Then star nor sun shall waken,
Nor any change of light:
Nor sound of waters shaken,
Nor any sound or sight:
Nor wintry leaves nor vernal,
Nor days nor things diurnal;
Only the sleep eternal
In an eternal night.

CHARLOTTE:
Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed
In the curtians, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death

He smiles sweetly
Strokes my hair
Says he misses me
I would murder him right there
But first I die
He talks softly of his wars
And his horses
And his whores
I think loves a dirty buissness

ANNE:
So do I
So do I

CHARLOTTE:
I’m before him on my knees
And he kisses me
He assumes I’ll loose my reason
And I do
Men are stupid
Men are vain
Love’s disgusting
Love’s insane
A humiliating business

ANNE:
Oh how true

CHARLOTTE
Ah well
Everyday a little death

ANNE:
Every day a little death

CHARLOTTE:
In the parlor, in the bed

ANNE:
In the looks and in the acts

CHARLOTTE:
In the curtains, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread

ANNE:
In the murmurs, in the gestures
In the pauses, in the sighs

CHARLOTTE:
Every day a little sting

ANNE:
Every day a little dies

CHARLOTTE:
In the heart and in the head

ANNE:
In the looks and in the lies

CHARLOTTE & ANNE:
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little…
Death


–Stephen Sondheim, from “A Little Night Music”

Damn. I was doing okay 'til you posted this one. :cry:

There’s just something about the unconditional love and devotion of a good dog…

Me too.

Carol

Go and dig my grave, dig it wide and deep.
Put a marble stone at my head and one at my feet.
And upon my breast, lay a white snow dove,
to show the world that I died for love.

Who is this man?
What sort of devil is he
To have me caught in a trap
And choose to let me go free?
It was his hour at last
To put a seal on my fate
Wipe out the past
And wash me clean off the slate!
All it would take
Was a flick of his knife.
Vengeance was his
And he gave me back my life!

Damned if I’ll live in the debt of a thief!
Damned if I’ll yield at the end of the chase.
I am the Law and the Law is not mocked
I’ll spit his pity right back in his face
There is nothing on earth that we share
It is either Valjean or Javert!

How can I now allow this man
To hold dominion over me?
This desperate man whom I have hunted
He gave me my life. He gave me freedom.
I should have perished by his hand
It was his right.
It was my right to die as well
Instead I live… but live in hell.

And my thoughts fly apart
Can this man be believed?
Shall his sins be forgiven?
Shall his crimes be reprieved?

And must I now begin to doubt,
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow.
Is he from heaven or from hell?
And does he know
That granting me my life today
This man has killed me even so?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I’ll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean.
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on…

I admit that it really hit me hard also. Which is why I posted it.

Will O’Ban

One for the kitties, too:

Putting Down the Cat

The assistant holds her on the table,
the fur hanging limp from her tiny skeleton,
and the veterinarian raises the needle of fluid
which will put the line through her ninth life.

“Painless,” he reassures me, “like counting
backwards from a hundred,” but I want to tell him
that our poor cat cannot count at all,
much less to a hundred, much less backwards.

–Billy Collins

Too close to home and heart… thanks, really … now pass the tissues please.

Well… now that Will’O’s got me crying, I might as well post this one…

“There is a sweetness at the closing of life’s circle. That sweetness is love.” - Stuart A. McUmber, 1944-2002

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee,
Where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam
'Round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold
Seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way
That he’d “sooner live in hell”.

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way
Over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold
It stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze
Till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one
To whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight
In our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead
Were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he,
“I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you
Won’t refuse my last request.”

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no;
Then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold
Till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'tain’t being dead – it’s my awful dread
Of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,
You’ll cremate my last remains.”

A pal’s last need is a thing to heed,
So I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn;
But God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day
Of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all
That was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn’t a breath in that land of death,
And I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid,
Because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say:
“You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you
To cremate those last remains.”

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid,
And the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,
In my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight,
While the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows –
O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay
Seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent
And the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,
But I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing,
And it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge,
And a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice
It was called the “Alice May”.
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,
And I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry,
“Is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor,
And I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around,
And I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared –
Such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal,
And I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like
To hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,
And the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled
Down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak
Went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow
I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about
Ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said:
“I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked”; . . .
Then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
In the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile,
And he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear
You’ll let in the cold and storm –
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
It’s the first time I’ve been warm.”

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

A Bowl Passing

Little fishy in the bowl
Where once you frolicked over the lavender sea floor
amid the bubbling pirate treasure
and bobbing diver
and plastic greenery
Now you just sit, or rather
Float
So silent
So still
And now so fuzzy.
You went quietly,
Not like your brother’s headstrong leap for freedom
Behind the radiator, now he’s fish jerky.
You went so quietly, maybe in your sleep.
Your quiet fish sleep.
Your peaceful fish sleep.
Do fish ever really sleep?

I must let you go.
I must find the net and let you go.
I must look under the couch
and find the net
and let you go.
There it is, and here we go, scoop,
A little fishy sarcophagus
A fitting hearse as we run for the bathroom.
Run for the bathroom, turn on the light, flip up the lid
And sploosh.
The sucking toilet plays watery taps
As fishy
And sundry other effluvia
Flush their way into eternity.

– Cory Doris Punctatus, 1975

“The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.” – Albert Einstein

I pitched my tent on this camp ground
Few Days, Few Days
To give old Satan another round,
And I am goin home.
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
Few Days, Few Days
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
And I am goin’ home.

Those Bankin’ thieves I will not trust
Few Days, Few Days
But with me take my little dust
And I am goin’ home
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
Few Days, Few Days
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
And I am goin’ home.

A few more day of wind and rain
Few Days, Few Days
A few more days of sufferin’ pain
And I am going home
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
Few Days, Few Days
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
And I am goin’ home.

A few more rollin’ years at most
Few Days, Few Days
Will land this soul on Glory’s coast
And I am goin’ home
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
Few Days, Few Days
I can’t stay in these diggin’s
And I am goin’ home.

I think having my bones made into flutes would be kind of cool.

GREEN GRASS
Tom Waits (Real Gone, 2004)

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down on the green grass
Remember when you loved me

Come closer don’t be shy
Stand beneath a rainy sky
The moon is over the rise
Think of me as a train goes by

Clear the thistle and brambles
Whistle Didn’t He Ramble
Now there’s a bubble of me
And it’s floating in thee

Stand in the shade of me
Things are now made of me
The weather vane will say
It smells like rain today

God took the stars and he tossed 'em
Can’t tell the birds from the blossoms
You’ll never be free of me
He’ll make a tree from me

Don’t say good-bye to me
Describe the sky to me
And if the sky falls mark my words
We’ll catch mocking birds

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down on the green grass
Remember when you loved me


Real Gone, Tom Wait’s latest CD, is all about death. Sparse, discordant, goove laden. Highly recommended.

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin’
for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
and all she found was Earl

Well it wasn’t two weeks
after she got married that
Wanda started gettin’ abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atalnta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda’s hand as they
worked out a plan
And it didn’t take long to decided

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl
You’re feeling weak
Why don’t you lay down
and sleep Earl
Ain’t it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp Earl

The cops came to bring Earl in
They searched the house
high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said ‘Thank You ladies
if you hear from him let us know’

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to Summer
And Summer faded into Fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed al all

So the girls bouth some land
and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
and strawberry jame
And they don’t
lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let’s go out to the lake Earl
We’ll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk Earl
Well is that all right
Good Let’s go for a ride
Earl hey


Dixie Chicks
Fly (1999)
Goodbye Earl

“That parrot’s not pinin’, he’s passed on”

One of Laura Nyro’s finest compositions – Peter Paul and Mary had a hit of it before BS&T. It’s a tough call for me whether I like BS&T’s or Laura’s version better. (It’s an especially good song to quote since she passed away herself 5 or so years ago).

Gawd, Waits just knows how to pull on the heart strings. I’m remiss in not having picked up this album yet.

Shine On Brightly by Procol Harum deals quite a bit with death, too.
[/i]

[u]The Three Ravens[/u]

There were three ra’ens sat on a tree,
Down a down, hey down, hey down,
They were as black as black might be,
With a down.
The one of them said to his mate,
Where shall we our breakfast take?
With a down, derry, derry, derry down, down

Down in yonder green field,
Down, a down, hey down, hey down,
There lies a knight slain 'neath his shield,
With a down.
His hounds they lie down at his feet,
So well they do their master keep,
With a down, derry, derry, derry down, down.

His hawks they fly so eagerly,
Down a down, hey down, hey down,
No other fowl dare come him night,
With a down.
Down there comes a fallow doe
As great with young as might she go
With a down, derry, derry, derry down, down

She lifted up his bloody head,
Down a down, hey down, hey down,
And kissed his wounds that were so red,
With a down.
She got him up upon her back,
And carried him to earthen lake,
With a down, derry, derry, derry down, down

She buried him before the prime
Down a down, hey down, hey down,
She was dead herself ere e’en-song time,
With a down.
God send every gentleman,
Such hawks, such hounds, and such a leman.
With a down, derry, derry, derry down, down