Poetry: Another Chance (Contest)

Poststructural Pub
1

Here is anotherchance to win Phil Coulter’s Highland Cathedral, and to show off your poetic streak. Two chances. Here are two other chances: to win a CD, to post your poems, and to get published… Here are three other chances: to win a CD, post your poems, get published, and to celebrate 6K… Amongst the chances… amongst your other chances are such elements as winning a CD, posting your poems, getting published… I’ll start again.

Post a poem in this thread to win a wonderful prize or a Phil Coulter CD.
We’ll see about the wonderful prizes, but I can already promise a work of poetry selected by our very-select undisputed whistling poet, Dale “the Muse” Wisely. And a shot at getting your poem published in Right Hand Pointing.

There is one rule:

The poem must be your own,
and it can’t be a haiku.

There are two rules:

The poem must be your own,
can’t be a haiku,
and can’t be limerick.

Amongst the rules are that the poem must your own, can’t be a haiku or limerick, and will be considered a “work in progress” (meaning that posting a poem here is not publishing it), and you should avoid Monty Python parodies - or it’s the Comfy Chair. It is okay to post pseudonymously.

To make it a little more interesting, there will be demerits for the use of certain words. The no-no words are: turgid, wing, awl, effete, hegemony, walrus, four, eponymous, and (sorry, folks): lambent.

May the best poet win!*

* When I say “best”, I don’t actually mean “best.” Not in the usual sense. I mean that poem which I will choose in a completely arbitrary, impossible-to-explain, and possibly-drunk process, the details of which I shan’t divulge except to say that it involves bribes, and deep-seated contempt for rational thought and accepted notions of poetic quality. If I am in a good mood (and that’s rare), I might throw in a poll. Fruitless inquiries to be addressed to my hapless assistant: Dale Wisely.

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And to break the ice, here is a little ditty of my own devising:

English as a Second Language
I haven’t been to English class
I haven’t read Millay
I cannot hear the words I write
Exactly the same way

You have heard it all your life
Most words to you are cheap
They’re free but for the fancy ones
I’ve paid for what I keep

I’m off now to the library
Where I will read Millay
I’ll feel the candle and the night
Exactly the same way

3

Grace

I have heard tell there is a tribe or race
Whose women will accept a compliment,
Not just politely, but with charm and grace:
It’s myth, of course, or wishful sentiment.

4

He Who Breaks All the Rules, Breaks None

An effete, turgid, awl-wielding walrus
Wrote a poem and signed it “eponymous”
But, the winged hegemony
Thought four “lambents” too many
So they threw him out on his left tusk.

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Does it have to be a new poem? And may we post more than one and be within the rules?

6

Rules? You’re asking me about rules? And who gives a iambic pentameter for rules around here?

:stuck_out_tongue:

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Another chance, another contest, perhaps another poll.
Feck that for a game of soldiers, I’ll have a jelly roll.

8

so it’s spring
and she won’t stop telling others
of her new love
selling all of us on this love
could there be a reason why
she tries so hard?
there has got to be
a reason for
the fall

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Right you are, then:


"Whissel Pome"

Little whistle in my hand,
I do pray you'll understand
The use to which you'll have arose
Wedged in the bodhrán player's nose.

Little whistle, be not sad;
A greater boon could not be had
Than such a noble sacrifice
Where form o'er function doth entice.

Little whistle, tried and true,
I have to make this use of you.
Really, really, really, really.
I'm tired of being touchy-feely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am still very taken with this one. :smiley:
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How 'bout derivative pieces? Nano has a very nice “Spambot” poem he could post…

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There is that.

polishes his nails on his shirt, looks at them with a self-congratulatory expression

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You have nails on your shirt? Don’t they chafe?

13

Oh, you. If I want to do penance, I wear The Cruel Shoes. If you don’t know about them, you’ll have to brush up on your Steve Martin writings (if you can tear yourself away from the TV Guide). :wink:

14

Nice.

Very nice.

Not very nice. :slight_smile:

15

Yes, I think I captured the experience of session malaise in all its grittiness.

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Bah. TV Guide is for girlie-men. Real men channel surf with a preprogrammed set of channels: ESPN, ESPN2, FSN, & SpikeTV. :wink:


In fact, and in actuality,
I rarely ever watch TV,
A good book is much preferred
By this rebel from the herd.

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In Chiffyland a dare arose,
(Herr Bloo is sort of bored, I s’pose,)
I’d love to play,
but no one knows that
I hate poetry.

Now rhymes are fun I always say,
And give me limericks any day,
(From haikus far away I’ll stay,) but
I hate poetry.

A metaphorical path I’ll wend,
And simile’s, like, my best friend!
But rhymes are all I’ve ever penned, 'cause
I hate poetry.

Call me a boor, call me a clod,
Say “poets’ souls are close to God,”
Still I confess, although it’s odd, that
I hate poetry.

18

I wish I had a clapping-wildly emoticon right now. Darn.

19

That brought tears to my eyes. Lovely, absolutely lovely.

20

brilliant