English As She Is Spoke

Whistle
1

I’ve been reading a marvelous book by this title this morning (home sick today with a nasty virus), and thought I’d share a bit about it here. I’ve decided to make the phrase “Let renounce to the high venison!” part of my vocabulary just because of this book.

So a long time ago Mark Twain wrote an introduction to this Portuguese - English phrasebook, that had first been published in 1855. He said of this book: "“Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect.” The book has since been out of print, but is being reprinted now by the folks at McSweeney’s Books. It’s available at their online store at www.mcsweeneys.net . It’s a charming little clothbound book.

Anyway, the authors of the phrasebook didn’t actually speak English, or have a Portuguese - English dictionary. They did have a French - Portuguese dictionary, though, and a French - English phrasebook. So you can just imagine. . .

A sample dialog:
HUNTING AND FISHING
by Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino

Dâ cáça.
The hunting.

There is it some game in this wood?

Another time there was plenty some black
beasts and thin game, but the poachers
have killed almost all.

Load ours guns.

Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue
for the hounds! it go one’s self in the
plonghed land.

Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire
him!

Let renounce to the high venison, we have
some mean already.

Here certainly a very good hunting.

Dâ Pésca.
The fishing.

That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse rather to the fishing.

Here, there is a wand and some hooks.
Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me
quick the rod, Ah! there is, it is a lamprey.

You mistake you, it is a frog! dip again it in
the water.

Perhaps I will do best to fish with the leap.

Try it! I desire that you may be more happy and more skilful who acertain fisher, what have fished all day without to can take nothing.

And from the same book:

Defects of the body:

A blind
A left handed
A lame
An ugly
A bald
A squint-eyed
A deaf

Weights:

Counterpoise
An obole
A pound an half
A quater ounce


Colours:

White
Gridelin
Cray
Musk
Red

Fishes and shell-fishes:

Calamary
Large lobster
Dorado
Snail
A sorte of fish
Wolf
Hedge hog
Torpedo
Sea-calf

Birds:

Becafico
Heuth-cock
Calendar
Whoop
Stor
Pea cock
Yeung turkey
Pinch
Red-breast, a robin

And that, fellow Chiffsters, is how she is spoke.

–Aaron
Edited to change a “.com” to a “.net” - thanks!

2

Here certainly a very good hunting, indeed. Thanks for this Aaron! LOL! And hope you feel better soon.
Carol

3

Oh, more wonderful stuff!

From a section called “Idiotisms and Proverbs”:

Entre-me por um ouvido e sabe-me por outro.
What come in to me for an ear yet out for another.

Por dinheiro baila o perro.
Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.


Isso faz agua no boca.
That make to come water in the mouth.

Fazer torres de vento.
To build castles in Espagnish.

Pedra movedica nunca mofo a cubica
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.

Muda-se como grimpa.
He turns as a weath tutcocl.

Esperar horas e horas.
To craunch the marmoset.

–Aaron, who wonders what craunching a marmoset would entail (aside from a marmoset)

4

Hello -

I had a bit of trouble finding the information, but I did find it, so here is a direct link.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/04/01collins.html

It didn’t seem to be available for order directly from that page, but their yahoo shop carries it for $18:

http://shop.store.yahoo.com/mcsweeneysbooks/enassheisspo.html

Incidentally, I also found an interesting section called WARNINGS AFFIXED TO LABORATORY DOORS AT THE MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/mitdoors/

5

Oh, absolutely priceless!

Thanks for that. *giggling

6

I don’t know about you, but I always fish with the leap… isn’t that how it’s done?? :laughing:

That was great, Aaron, thanks for sharing that and providing my belly-laugh of the day!

Best to you and yours,
Andrea

7

truly a thread to treasure!

8

I was trying to figure out why that verbiage sounded so familiar. Then, I remembered Zoobvika talks like that. Time to update his phrase book. :slight_smile:
Tony

9

edit

10

I am a cereal killer, myself. :roll:

11

You might want to do a bit of research into the origins and meaning of the word sport and the social and cultural conditions that led to the development of physical activity as a leisure activity. But then again, you might not.

12

edit

13

Cranberry, due to the present-day lack of natural predators (human-induced, to be sure), deer populations now explode, and without culling via hunting, would otherwise be at risk to mass dieoffs due to starvation. This has already been demonstrated. I don’t hunt, myself, but even I can see the logic in this. I realize that your thoughts on this matter are well-intentioned indeed, but what alternative would you provide, now that you’ve hijacked this thread?

Best,
N

14

You don’t want to be in bed with a sweating, wheezing fat guy who is losing his hear and who keeps tweaked feadogs on the night table… :wink: (I don’t have dentures, btw. Yet.)

As for the rest: I meant the fact that “sport” as a concept started out as hunting & fishing. 200 years ago, if you proposed “a bit of sport” people would think of hunting, and not of running around in a circle, throwing things pointlessly, or various forms of fighting for access to a ball of one shape or another. Sport was very much an upper-class thing and very much hunting.

As for the hurting, killing, and eating, that’s a different matter entirely of course.

15

Hmmm…not exactly apropos, but when I’m out raking (and I don’t mean the lawn), I’m usually hunting for a bit of sport, if you take my meaning. :thumbsup:

16

BTW, Herbster, great stuff! I’m thinking about getting a copy myself. :laughing:

17

Is it not considered sporting if I eat the fish? Because I don’t really like fishing (though I prefer it to golf or softball), but I love fresh trout. You just can’t get a trout from the stream to the fish market to the frying pan fast enough. The fish market step must be eliminated if you’re going to have some really good trout.

With all the snow melt around here, there’s going to be some good eating this spring!

As far as catch and release goes, it doesn’t strike me as a very humane thing to do just for fun, but if you’re fishing for food and you catch one that’s too small, careful release will leave the fish in a fine condition to survive.

And Cranberry, be careful using sex for recreation. You might end up getting thrown out of VEHEMENT. :wink:

18

McSweeney’s is THE current literary magazine. It was founded by Dave Eggers who is the editor savant du jour. If you write fiction, it’s one the top three places to be published. The web site reflects Eggers, whose work is brilliant at times, often sidesplittingly funny in a truthful way, and usually at a high level of energy. His book, “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” is wonderful up until the very end. It’s still worth reading but is a bit of a let down in the end. The intro and the ‘corrections’ pages in the trade paperback version are worth the price by themselves.

www.mcsweeneys.net is the correct address. You will find some very entertaining stuff there.

19

You fiendish rake you! LOL! Next thing you know, you’ll be telling us you like… photographs.

Nudge nudge, wink wink…

madfifer9

20

I’ve just bought this book and I’ve been giggling over it all afternoon. There’s a bit of info about its origins here. One of the authors, Jose Da Fonesca, was a perfectly competent linguist who published a Portuguese-to-French phrasebook. The other guy, Pedro Carolino, came along and pirated the book, wrenching it into something that’s almost-but-not-quite-entirely-unlike English.

Oh, and Aaron: “Esperar horas e horas” means “to wait hours and hours.” So I’m just waiting for a chance to say “Dude, where have you been? I’ve been craunching the marmoset!”