From the ‘I saw it on the internet, so it must be true’ department:
INSTRUMENTS YOU CAN’T PLAY AND STILL BE COOL
Flute
Bagpipes
Oboe
Trombone
Triangle
Kazoo
Zither
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2001/08/12/PK164879.DTL&type=music
I don’t know whether to be relieved that whistle isn’t on the list, or outraged that flute and bagpipe are…
Bagpipe players are the epitome of cool.
I am surprised that along with “bagpipe” they did not include the two other Instruments of Hell on the list (banjo & accordion). Looking over their list as a whole and seeing the plethora of main stream crap being touted as “cool” leaves me about as concerned as I would be reading some ditsy shallow “fashion police” article. Obviously Neva Chonin, Joel Selvin and James Sullivan have little clue as to the true meaning of “Cool”.
David (proud to be a piper) de la Barre
P.S. I mean…come on now… the band Abba is cool!!! :roll: 
[ This Message was edited by: Feadan on 2001-08-14 22:19 ]
On 2001-08-14 22:12, Feadan wrote:
Obviously Neva Chonin, Joel Selvin and James Sullivan have little clue as to the true meaning of “Cool”.
These people are clueles..
They say you can’t play flute and be cool.
They also say you can’t play kazoo and be cool.
Yet…
Jimi Hendrix is #1 in their top 40 of cool.
But..
Jimi Hendrix played flute. 
Jimi Hendrix also played kazoo :roll:
Jimi Hendrix played Glockenspiel and Harpsichord? 
Evidence:
http://www.marcogiunco.com/dischi/002763.htm
[ This Message was edited by: Wandering_Whistler on 2001-08-14 22:55 ]
With an occasional exception, the banjo makes me want to scream and tear my clothing.
Dale
On 2001-08-14 23:19, DaleWisely wrote:
With an occasional exception, the banjo makes me want to scream and tear my clothing.Dale
Yes, I suppose like any good groupie at the edge of the stage before their performing idol. Ohhhh…that clawhammer is to die for! Catch my BVDs Earl!
sorry…just kidding Dale!
[ This Message was edited by: Feadan on 2001-08-14 23:53 ]
On 2001-08-14 22:12, I wrote:
I am surprised that along with “bagpipe” they did not include the two other > Instruments of Hell > on the list (> banjo > & > accordion
I am moving into my new “temporary” residence in a couple of weeks thanks to the seasonal/nomadic state of the real estate scene on Cape Cod 
We both had quite a chuckle about it.
P.S. Okay, Rich, how do you make an “angry razz”? The Cape Cod real estate scene is far from funny and light hearted.
[ This Message was edited by: Feadan on 2001-08-15 00:34 ]
and what is a “Theremin”???
This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where he casualy remarks,as a pick-up line,that he’s the one responsible for those crop circles in England and she replies `what are crop circles?´:)Mike
Hey Korn and this Brit-rock band Travis play bagpipes too and they’re kewl!
If I may wax technical on the Theremin…
It was invented by Russia’s very own Lev Theremin, patented in 1928. It is an electronic instrument that centers around 2 ultra-sonic oscillators,one with a fixed frequency, the other variable. One varies the frequency by changing the capacitance of the tuned circuit variable oscillator by moving ones hand closer to/farther from a plate, the other side of the capacitor. The difference between the 2 frequencies is in the audible range.
Imagine someone moving his hand in front of a box with a a piece of metal sticking out of it and you have the picture.
It is possibly the only instrument that is played without touching it.
While there has been an occasional musician who has used it solo, it is mostly used for effects by Rock bands (Emerson, Lake and Palmer, I believe?).
For an excellent example of the Theremin, listen to the sound effects in any cheesy 1950s American science fiction movie, usually when the Americans first land on some strange planet.
It has that “woo-EEE-eee” sound.
I can build you one, but you really wouldnt want it.
“I doubt, therefore I dont think I am”
[ This Message was edited by: StewySmoot on 2001-08-15 08:29 ]
On 2001-08-15 06:33, StewySmoot wrote:
…it is mostly used for effects by Rock bands (Emerson, Lake and Palmer, I believe?).
Also used by the Beach Boys in “Good Vibrations”.
[ This Message was edited by: StewySmoot on 2001-08-15 09:50 ]
I actually have a friend who plays Theremin and whistle and Irish flute.
So is he cool or uncool?
He has also played (composed?) music that involved both Theremin and whistle, if you can believe that.
If he is lurking on this board, I suspect he now knows who I am.
[ This Message was edited by: tuaz on 2001-08-15 09:44 ]
Hey Stewy,would you make me a low B Whistle with extra wide hole spacing as I have long dreamed of a whistle I could play by just pointing at the holes.Now this would be cool! Mike
This is a side step but it relates to decorum and playing (or not) an instrument.
My father once commented that the true definition of a gentleman was one who knows how to play the accordian, but refrains from diong so.
I laughed myself silly when I first read the list, because I interpreted it entirely differently than the rest of you! In my mind the question was What instruments can you hold and pretend to play, but not really be able to play, and still be cool just because you’re holding 'em and pretending!
I don’t know if I should be bummed or not. I played banjo for years (haven’t in awhile, decided to focus on whistle). I’m planning on taking up bagpipes (uilleann). Never played accordian, but noodled around on one a few times just to check it out. I’ve been called a nerd kiddingly by my 16yr old son, with dead seriousness by my 13yr old daughter. Part of it is my propensity for plaid shirts. (Been wearing them since I was a toddler. Blame my mom.)
Now, really, no one has ever torn their shirt and/or screamed in my presence (while I was playing music). Really, Dale.
So, anyway, 2 out of the 3 instruments from hell. Now you got me thinking about taking up the accordian just to be well rounded.
Tony
My father once commented that the true definition of a gentleman was one who knows how to play the accordian, but refrains from diong so.
I’ve heard the same joke applied to bagpipes as well. Brings to mind a T-shirt I saw at a Hurdy-gurdy gathering. It read,“Accordions don’t play Lady of Spain…people do”.
1 Tony, are guys who quote Zen sayings allowed to wear plaid shirts?
2 Does anyone know if Ernie Ball (guitar string maker) still makes the “Play An Accordian, Go To Jail” t-shirts?
3 Is it uncool to e-mail people who post lists of who and what is cool or uncool and call them pretentious morons?
4 I just emailed pink@sfchronicle.com and said that people who post lists of… are pretentiopus morons.
5 I also included the bit about Jimi Hendrix and the Kazoo, etc.
Stay cool
Blaine
It greatly surprises me that the alto clarinet has yet to come up in this conversation… (:
Tom