English people are charmingly stupid - proof

Poststructural Pub
1

The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “The Family Fortunes” in the UK.


Name something a blind person might use - A sword

Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon

Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar

Name a famous brother and sister - Bonnie & Clyde

Name a dangerous race - The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers - A horse

Name something that floats in the bath - Water

Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair

Name something Red - My cardigan

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal - Mail

Name a number you have to memorize - 7

Name something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Name something you put on walls - Roofs

Name something in the garden that’s green - Shed

Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine - A bicycle with wings

Name something you might be allergic to - Skiing

Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters

Name something a cat does - Goes to the toilet

Name something you do in the bathroom - Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog

Name something associated with the police - Pigs

Name a sign of the zodiac - April

Name something slippery - A conman

Name a kind of ache - Fillet ‘O’ Fish :confused:

Name a food that can be brown or white - Potato

Name a jacket potato topping - Jam

Name a famous Scotsman - Jock

Name another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Name something with a hole in it - Window

Name a non-living object with legs - Plant

Name a domestic animal - Leopard

Name a part of the body beginning with ‘N’ - Knee

Name a way of cooking fish - Cod

2

1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready, and 4 to bombom, bomadeebomdebom, bomdedebomderamramrambingdeedongbing…go.

3

I just asked my 15 year old daughter this one, thinking she’d see the silliness behind it. Her answer was “1”. Seems that both sides of the pond are infected. :stuck_out_tongue: I did congratulate my daughter for finally being able to memorize the number 1…it only took her 15 years :laughing:

4

I’ve always been told I have above average intelligence, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what a “jacket potato topping” would be.

Must be a cultural thing.

Enlighten me Martin. I hate to be in the dark.

Mike

5

What’s wrong with this one?

6

Maybe a baked potato… potato still with its skin (jacket) on?

7

Thats it.
Standard toppings (fillings) are Cheese,Tuna,Chili con carne and Coleslaw,though anything at all would do.

Vans selling these items are commonplace here in England and will be found anywhere a crowd may gather.


Slan,
D.

8

Right alongside the (gag!) 99 Flake vans? Just what is that stuff anyway…cake frosting in a cone?

9

Yup, baked potato in it’s skin. The skin should be a bit crunchy.

Traditional toppings would be butter, grated cheese, baked beans, cottage cheese, maybe a curry, not all at once. Not Jam.

Quaker once brought out a series of toppings in jars called Dinner Jackets, which I though a good idea, and good for students on low budgets, but I could never find them in the shops.

10

how about this?

11

Traditionally,a Cadburys 99 Flake would be jammed into an ice cream cone and sold from an ice cream van.
Alas,modern packaging and retailing has left us with these things,

Just not the same thing :sniffle:

Slan,
D.

12

I’m afraid it’s not just you Brits. It seems to me that “Family Feud” over
here in the states used to get some pretty inane responses to questions
as well. Although, if I was put on the spot in front of millions of viewers I
guess I’d probably come up with a couple of doozies myself. :blush:

Will O’Ban

13

Amar, is that a picture of your ass?

14

yes, it is. :smiley:

15

Must be a very recent loss then, as we got some of that stuff from a van in 2000–not prepackaged. There were numerous vendors, in fact, clustered around the Tate Gallery district. I’m sorry to say it did not resemble ice cream as we ever knew it.

16

rather hairy, isn’t it? :slight_smile:

17

You’ll get that around the Hotspots but 'tis an awful long way from the Tate Gallery district to where I am..

But that English Ice cream…oh no…don’t start me talkin’…

It’s ice cream Jim…


Slan,
D. :blush:

18

This strikes me as perfectly intelligent and reasonable.

19

If you want decent ice-cream you have to leave England and go to Cornwall.

20

You can still get Mr. Softee Ice Cream from most ice cream vans round these parts. It’s rumoured that they add a little vaseline to get it to flow nicely in the machine…

I recently read the rules and regulations about sounding ice cream van chimes in built up areas, but I won’t bore you with the details.