OK, it’s late, I confess, but the recurrent thought keeps circulating in my consciousnes: Why do I keep checking the C & F forums instead of watching dum-dum TV? Dale would say that I have an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. My answer is that at C & F I have found a family who shares a common interest in music and musical instruments, a family with whom I am confortable spending time with, an internet family, a concept that I could not conceive of a few years ago, but one that I am thankful for at this juncture in time. There are others with thousands of posts that obviously feel the way that I do. I am curious what the internet might bring in the years ahead?
It is nice to have a place to talk whistles and flutes, because I have met only a couple of people in person that play the whistle. I credit Chiff & Fipple with expanding my instrument horizon. When I came here I had one whistle, and now have ten whistles, two flutes, a fife, and a recorder. That’s the good.
The indifferent is that like most places, there are some nice folks, some rude folks, some amusing folks, some annoying folks.
Overall, I have been treated politely with the occasional rude yahoo. I do visit regularly as I spend a lot of time online and it usually only takes two minutes to see if there are any threads of interest. I post on occasion.
The bottom line is that I would not count anyone here as a friend, and would be very surprised if anyone here considered me their friend. I have a lot of friends, and tend to keep the ones I have. I have made connections in other virtual communities, some very long lasting.
Greater variety of programming, better chance of intelligent content overall, the inanity is honest inanity, and there are comparatively few reruns.
Oh, I doubt that he would … for reasons having nothing to do with either you or the DSM. 
Interesting question, the thread topic. Just this weekend I had a spirited discussion with a family member about the internet–and the time I spend on it. He contends that time spent on online forums and the like does not in any way fulfill a human’s basic needs for interaction with others, and is thus somehow “unhealthy.” When I questioned what was lacking, he came up with two things. The first was the hackneyed identity thing; you know, the concept more wittily expressed by “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”
The other thing was, perhaps, more on point: He contended that online interactions provide no real emotional interaction. I was a bit more hard-pressed to respond to that. On the one hand, it does sometimes seem fatuous to assert that a virtual connection can constitute a “friendship.”
And yet… I lean more toward Doug’s point of view on the question. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “family,” but certainly, friendship. Are emotions necessarily less meaningful or honest when expressed on screen, as opposed to, say, over a telephone, or in a letter? --And what is friendship, anyway? Does it not include helping others, exchanging ideas, having a laugh, easing the other’s burden in all manner of ways? Sharing the things–such as music–that you’re passionate about? Does one require a face-to-face connection in order to have a friendship?
I think not. I think that we’re developing a new kind of connection/communication in this online world…not unlike the way the brain “re-wires” itself in new situations. It’s still evolving, this new way of building relationship. It’s not without problems; and it doesn’t meet all of our needs. But it doesn’t have to. I’ve come to feel at home here, and that, really, is my best answer to the question.
There is nothing new about these forums at all. There is over a century of forums in newspapers, magazines and professional journals, where people would voice opinions, share information, joust verbally, etc. The only difference is that the internet has reduced the time between interactions from days, weeks or months to mere minutes.
Similarly, people have been sharing their thoughts and feelings in written correspondence for centuries. Again, the internet has merely sped up the process. There is nothing new about this. Does this replace face-to-face interactions between people? Probably not, but neither is it so totally devoid of feeling as to be called cold. Its a grey area, not so black and white. Also, I like having the time to work out what I want to say, although many times I forget to do so. 
The best thing about this place, especially the pub, is the utter chaos, the total lack of planned or prepared scripts, in spite of the moderators’ efforts to hide or can any opinions other than their own. The population here is so diverse and widespread that you never know what new topics will come up each day, what silliness, what excellent good humour, what whining, preaching, slagging, and nose-twitching will go on. Its a ball!
What greater source of entertainment could you ask for? 
djm
Plus, the Gunsmoke of internet forums–the Cutie Pie thread.
I just got a laptop so I can do both at the same time.
First - I’m in front of a computer almost the entire day at work, now. It’s easy to have multiple screens up, and while one application is chunking, stop in here and see what’s going on.
Second - through this and a couple of other boards / email lists, I’ve met a multitude of good friends, met my husband, helped friends from all over the country and the world with difficulties, and learned a lot about others I’d never have had a chance to connect with otherwise.
Agreed. The Internet is like any other tool: You can use it to form
meaningful relationships in the real world, or you can use it to look
at porn all day. It’s really up to you. TV’s not a tool. It’s really only
good for the porn thing.
I am also pretty much chained to a computer the entire work day. My work is frequently frustrating, often mind-numbing, and I keep a browser window up that I can sometimes flip over to for a sanity break. I usually have C&F up in one tab of Firefox.
That said, C&F is a unique online community. There are some other good communities, but C&F has a unique personality that makes it a bit addictive.
Like any relationship involving people, there are times it has been frustrating, and there are times I’ve just had to walk away for a bit.
But there have also been some really memorable moments.
I have good friends on C&F, and on the whole, my life has been greatly enriched by having known you all.
–James
And what is friendship, anyway? Does it not include helping others, exchanging ideas, having a laugh, easing the other’s burden in all manner of ways? Sharing the things–such as music–that you’re passionate about? Does one require a face-to-face connection in order to have a friendship?
Friendship is a feeling for one. An ability to confide in, to share with others. The sense that they will stick up for you when you are wronged. The sense that they care more than the average sense when you are down. The sense that they celebrate with you when you have good news. The sense that they understand who you are as a person.
Unfortunately, only on the very margins do I get any of that from this community. Whether it be the strong political slant (vs. other message boards), the age, the whiteness of the community, it does not resonate with me on any more than a superficial level.
While you’all may be family, I am more like one of the neighborhood stray cats 
I wander about and occasionally someone pays me some mind, but if I am gone for weeks at time, no one seems to notice. When I reappear no one seems to notice. When I howl at the moon someone throws a brick Family I ain’t.
This is a very public forum. There are only a few people who regularly post, but many who lurk. Is it really appropriate to get all touchy/feely in such an exposed environment? Perhaps the term “family” is too broadly applied. We here are acquaintances, but it would take much more private communication between individuals to become friends. Is that what you feel is missing?
Being irretrievably white, I’m afraid I can’t see how this board is particularly race-based. We may speak of cultures and practices that are not common to the Occidental habit, but I’m not aware of any segregation here. If you feel you can only chat within your own racial group, isn’t that more of an issue with you and not the forum? Maybe I don’t understand. Please provide lurid details.
djm
“The Devil Damn thee Black, thou cream-faced loon!” - Othello.
I’m only saying. It may not be irretrievable. 
– Acquaintances with a common interest. But there IS something special about C&F.
ditto DJM.
Apart from the handful of people I’ve met personally after first connecting through this board, I am still blissfully unaware of the skin colour of most people here, and couldn’t care less if they’re cyan, blue or green.
Bill, I’ve read and enjoyed your post many times over the years, and still had no idea what your ethnic background was until today.
I’ve seen all of this on this forum.
I’ve seen people ask for advice, and get lots of it.
I’ve seen people “stick up” for others they feel are being slighted.
I’ve seen this board come together in time of crisis and donate money or goods.
I’ve seen people congratulate people when they’ve shared good news, and shed tears when they’ve shared sorrows.
I’m sure people have some “sense” of me as a person, whether it’s a true sense or not, I’m not quite sure! 
I also know I’ve offered help in pms to people, and I’m sure many others on here have, too. Sometimes we may be not too vocal in what we do.
Seriously, if I had a problem that I think others could help with, I would have no hesitation coming and asking.
To me it means people like this: http://chiffboard.mati.ca/viewtopic.php?p=565090
When I use the word “family” in the context of this thread, I am referring to the more general use of the word, as in “the family of humankind” and not the nuclear family of father, mother, offspring, and relatives, per se. I should probably more correctly say that the C & F internet community is “like a family”, for, at least, it feels that way to me. Without needing to give any specific examples, I can say that, through my participation in the topics in the various forums, I feel connected to the lives of many people in important ways.
Thank heavens. I’ve only ever posted the retouched version of this. Now
I feel safe:
Please don’t anyone laugh.
Well said. This is one of many ways humans reach out and connect. It may be particularly meaningful to those who, due to job limitations or personality, are less likely to find that all of their reaching-out needs are met by face to face contacts.
I’ve said many, many times in the past that the overwhelming whiteness (and middle-classness) of this community disturbs me, A LOT.
Unfortunately, most people are not like you. Being a white person in a European nation yourself, you can probably never fully understand why and how other people care.
I MUCH prefer browsing this group, and others like it, to watching TV. It is far more entertaining and informative, and I am not molested, hag-ridden, bothered, annoyed, put upon, and infuriated by unsolicited advertisements for everthing under the sun.
There is intelligent life here, Scotty.
TV most often doesn’t have enough to interest a lobotomized flatworm.
And yes, I check it a couple of times a day, just to stay current. I’ve also gotten many, many tips and bits of information which I would not have been able to get otherwise, or I would have had to take hours to dig it up, sift through the dross and chaff, and collect it in one handy place. Thanks to all here at C&F!!!
With best regards,
Steve Mack