Leonel Arias, 47, told police he was playing a practical joke by donning the Bin Laden mask, toting his pellet rifle and jumping out to scare drivers on a narrow street in his hometown, Carrizal de Alajuela (search), about 20 miles north of San Jose.
Arias had startled several drivers that way on Monday afternoon. But when he jumped out in front of taxi driver Juan Pablo Sandoval, the motorist reached for a gun and shot him twice in the stomach. He was hospitalized in stable condition.
“For me and I think for anybody else at a time like that one thinks the worst and so I fired my gun,” Sandoval told Channel 7 television.
Police declined to detain Sandoval, saying he had believed he was acting in self-defense.
The best one I’ve heard of lately: A guy is out of liquor, so he decides to drink some gasoline. As one might expect, he hurls not too much later. As he’s tending the fire in the fireplace. He blew up along with pretty much his entire house. He’s definitely Darwin eligible (as long as it’s true). This one is just so hilarious on so many different levels.
I would think the gasoline would burn his esophagus shut in mere seconds and if not completely the hurling would finish the job. I wonder what the vapors (vapours) would do to the mucus membranes?!? Maybe I’m wrong though because I knew someone who swallowed a little while siphoning.
There is a mixed drink called “gasoline” made of bourbon and tequila.
Number two, at least, happened in real life. I once had a boss who was going to law school part time and we used to howl over some of the stuff in her books. Many years ago two guys picked up a running gasoline lawnmower to trim a hedge. One of them slipped and his hand went into the blade. He sued and won a huge settlement because the company that made the lawnmower was “negligent” for not installing safety devices to prevent a running lawnmower from being picked up and for not posting safety notices that hands should be kept away from the blade. And now you know why every gasoline lawnmower sold in the states has that “dead man” blade brake on the handle (you know, that stupid irritating thing that we all duct tape to the handle so we can do reasonable things like move a hose without having to restart the &^&% mower).
[quote="OutOfBreath And now you know why every gasoline lawnmower sold in the states has that “dead man” blade brake on the handle (you know, that stupid irritating thing that we all duct tape to the handle so we can do reasonable things like move a hose without having to restart the &^&% mower).[/quote]
Umm, couldn’t you move the hose before you start mowing the lawn?
I’m with you on the warning things, really. It’s ridiculous the stuff that they have to put on products. Things like “do not drink” on a can of draino, stuff like that. My favorites are the ones that say “may cause drowsiness” on sleeping pills- DUH! I hope so!
One of my favorite lines from The Simpsons is when there’s a warning-type disclaimer on the TV not to do something really stupid and ridiculous, and Homer says very proudly “See kids, because of me, there’s a warning!”
There’s also the classic (from Lampoon) “flaming motherf*cker”: sloe gin and lighter fluid, lit. I knew someone who tried it once.
You’re right, gasoline will cause ulcers on the soft tissue of the upper GI tract. During the gas shortages in the ‘70’s, there was a boom for oral surgeons due to the number of people who got gasoline in their mouths siphoning from their neighbors’ cars. I don’t know that it happens before one can swallow some, though, and gasoline has incredible explosive power; I suspect mixing it with a little HCl doesn’t decrease this at all.
Umm, couldn’t you move the hose before you start mowing the lawn? [/quote]
Or get an electric mower.
[/quote]I’m with you on the warning things, really. It’s ridiculous the stuff that they have to put on products. Things like “do not drink” on a can of draino, stuff like that. My favorites are the ones that say “may cause drowsiness” on sleeping pills- DUH! I hope so!
[/quote]
I love the “may cause drowsiness” on sleeping aids, but my favorite is still “cutting edge is sharp” on the cutting edges for plastic wrap and such. The last box of plastic wrap I got has a plastic thingy and thing that you swipe over it to cut. I dunno if this is because of liability. Another I like is “not meant for human consumption” on cat food. (It’s actually fine for human consumption, and they have human tasters at all dog and cat food preparation facilities. It’s still labeled “CAT food” though.)
Also, as (I think) Steven Wright asked, “Why do they have Braille at drive-throughs?”
Most of the drive through ATMs (at least around here) don’t have braile, but I’ve seen a few that do. A good friend of mine is blind and I remember we were going through one that did one time and as I was waiting for the machine to digest my card and send little japanese guys in tennis shoes all the way back to my bank 600 miles away (yes, it was a slow ATM machine) I said, “Hey, Brian, this thing’s got braille on the keypad!”
He said, “So? … Oh!” and then laughed for the next ten minutes.
It sounds like an urban myth to me, but he wouldn’t be eligible for a Darwin Award anyway. You have to remove yourself from the gene pool to be eligible.
Ahh, but see, he would have removed himself from the gene pool if not for the meddling of modern medicine. Modern medicine and lawyers are the reason the human race is becoming steadily dumber! Doctors save the fools and lawyers see that they get rich.
BTW, I think it really happened. It appeared on a couple of different major news sites and was credited to the AP.
