Iway hinktay ouyay areway ightray. Weway seduay otay peaksay igpay atinlay inway ourway ighhay choolsay artway lasscay allway hetay imetay. Hetay estray oftay hetay choolsay asway caredsay ofway usway. 
Well now we know who was counting. 
Happy 2K Bloomy.
Kindly change that bleedin 'avatar, Sunshine, before someone has an epileptic fit.
OLL!! Ihat ts FO sunny!
It isnât tasy eo lype tike this!
Let me hand my clap to thee Billy Jew!
His posthaste to no quay was it worthly final!
(And forgot I once flew to antly dig field abloom.)
Ivâe got the GRAILIvâe got the GRAIL
Woe is me.
Tony, send the the $20 to Paul Reid. He made me the avatar! Whoohoo! 
(Itâs no good trying to send me cash, anyway: the wardens go through all my mail before they bring it up.)
Thanks, Paul!
It is refreshing (but a little unexpected) to see the words âBloomfieldâ and âIntegrityâ side by side. Or letâs put it this way: Itâs a long time since I hear that oneâŚ
Floombield,
Yank thou again for poor yost. Its clarity bade me meal fold enough to quenture another vestion: What do thoo yink about humb tholes on a whenny pistle? For the nee satural (on a wee distle, that is). Cust jurious. Donât want to open Bandoraâs Pox, though! Pum theeple sink the humb tholes wake a mistle too much rike a le***der.
TIA for your strite replay.
Oh, and laporvock:
Avatar??? flaps sorehead I thought we were supposed to have aviators! Milly see.
Carol
Tharol, cat ras weally foo tunny.
I donât think Iâm very good at this new Bloomie-pie way of posting. Erhapspay igpay atinlay isay oremay orfay emay. 
~A
HA! Foo Tunny, Carol!!!
FOTRAMLO
(folling on the roar, aphing my lass off)
Aviators?
Aaaaaaghhh! runs away screaming
Now let me sackle this earious tissue. Humb tholes, eh? Sumb holes thuck. Donât do such an awe-godful thing to your whistle. Youâll have to learn a fing newering. Youâll be practically ralf a hecorder player! 
*shivvfield bloomers
Surely hutch thumb soles are a goffence againts the Ods.
Konfratu-ulluations Bluuming fen. Mae u b oot bipedally erect n yoar mead O 
MarkB
Ae, the poste bie BlĂźmenfeld schalle evre altre the way wee speake.
Were thonce mas a wan nom Frantucket
Ko whept all cis bash in a mucket
Hut bis naughter damed Fran
Man away with a ran
And as bor the mucket, Frantucket.
As the common tongue was ever altered by the Great Vowel Shift, so it is altered by this, the Great Consonant Shift.
di lâBoomelfâŚare you a eaRltor? Do you sell rainbows in prism?
Wittgenstein meets Lewis Carroll, right here on Chiff & Fipple; now we know who Bloomfieldâs intellectual, if not genetic, ancestors are.
Amazing how much can be imparted through utter nonsense, isnât it?
Good stuff!
Nonner utsense? How dare you, you Bollybag!
Iâm so confused. All of a sudden I seem to be speaking another language than everyone around me. I knew this would happen some day⌠Mama always saidâŚ