Understanding your point of view, but differing.
Many musicians, often of a truly creative kind, are only at ease when alone with their instrument, or in a family or close friends circle, and do public appearances only when compelled to.
Some are just extremely oversensitive to criticism, by the press or/and by the audience.
Some are just afraid of the crowd, and esp. those we call “fans”. Recent history has enough examples of fans violence (even if only verbal, like on the net…) so I don’t need to elaborate, do I?
Some, because of that, vanished for the scenes for decades, and played only in studios, just think of Vladimir Horowitz or Sviatoslav Richter if you like piano…
Of course, there are those musicians–more in pop music, IMHO–who need that super public image, and go to the talk shows, and write back to the fans’ club, etc. But do these have to offer much more than that, i.e. a public image? For the others, I mean those who rely purely on their music not PR skills, I don’t think they “owe” us anything.
Some just don’t have that double talent of PR + art, else are too much in their music. In their own universe. Sometimes they’d be commercially better off with an agent, or some PR. Now what if some just can’t cope with the standard PR hypes/pitches to front for them, and dragging them to the autographs or talk shows?
Hell, isn’t sincere art generally about expressing by other means what you can’t by the standard voice/body language communication, but for you has to come out???
I stick to picking my music for the sound of it, and art generally for its own sake. If I ever meet the guy (which I won’t expressly seek) and he happens to be nice to me, well I guess it will be a bonus. However, in order to expect someone to be nice to me, I’ll keep an a priori positive attitude to him.
Finally, as a root explanation to my vocal reaction here (which is not against you Susan or anyone specifically), I don’t think it’s a positve attitude to diss a guy you never really met (approaching a guy with the crowd at the end of a show is NOT meeting him!). Unfortunately, I’ve seen this a couple times too often often here, and not only with DS.