In a recent, suddenly truncated discussion, Loren expressed concern that lack of work due to the Global Financial Crisis might be the cause of some remarks of mine. I’m so pleased to report that any temporary financial worries at my end are now behind me, with the receipt this evening of this lucrative order …
Hello Terry,
I am Chief George Oputa, Chairman Voice of WAZOBIA, Nigeria.
We had taken time to inquire from other flute makers about your reputation in flute making and we are please to tell you that the responses we received were all satisfactory.
Therefore we have decided to make request for the supply of about 50, 000 numbers of flute, preferably Blackwood flutes with sterling silver key work. It will also be designed specifically for playing African music, Nigeria precisely.
The flutes shall all be crested with words that will tally with the commemoration of our 49th year after independence which will be observed on the 1st of October, 2009. They shall be supplied with hard cases too.
So I require you to furnish me with more information on your products range, purchase and delivery because we will be placing the order immediately in order to meet our target.
Thanks for your quick response.
Accept the assurance of my sincere regards, please.
If you start now, that’s about 450 flutes per day, provided you don’t take weekends off. To put it another way, if you work an eight hour day it’s around a flute per minute. The good news is, that works out to a gross of approximately $200,000USD/hour. The bad news is that you’ll have to figure out a way to get your lathe to run at around 30,000RPM.
Terry, let me guess that Mr. Oputa sent you are large check as an initial installment payment and that he wrote the check a little larger than what you had agreed upon. He asked you to deposit the check and to wire the difference to his account. I hope you didn’t do that.
My wife answers the telephone at the police department here in town. It is surprising how many people are taken by these schemes. The fact is, however, that when you consider the distribution of the bell-shaped curve measuring “intelligence quotient”, there are just as many people on the far left side of the curve as there are at the 140 IQ level at the right. It would be nice if we all lived in the mythical Lake Wobegone, “where all the children are above average”, but, sadly, we don’t.
Wow, you’d think an organization that is able to pay 125 million for flutes, provided you charge 1/2 price for volume discount, would at least have a web page. The Voice of Wazobia isn’t a very loud voice it seems.
Congratulations on your good fortune, Terry! I’m so glad I already got my new flute heads from you. You are going to be one busy flute maker for the next millennium
Paul
Wow, both the grammar and the fact-checking (October 1, 1960) are impressive. I guess that means this must be real!
Of course, Nigerians will soon discover that these flutes are not at all suitable for Nigerian music. They’ll quickly abandon their own music for ITM, giving us new tunes like “The Rocky Road to Lagos” and “The Bucks of Abuja”. Then UNESCO will haul Terry before the World Court for destroying the cultural heritage of West Africa.
Terry, I think that you should point out to them the difficulty in obtaining that much silver bullion and ask them to arrange to supply you with it in advance. You might even be able to get the mpingo direct from source?
Maybe it’s just a typo and Mr Oputa meant 50 or 500 flutes. Perhaps you can recruit Copely, Tipple, Hammy and a few other experienced flute makers to help!
In any case I am offering my services. You’ll definitely need a Chef to feed you and your new staff. I’d be glad to take a leave of absence at my current job to provide you all with 3 squares a day!
A rough calculation suggests I’d need about 60 tonnes of blackwood! And given the timescale (assuming he needs these flutes in time for the Independance Day celebrations, to which I hope to get an invite!) I’ll need to fly it in and finished product out. I’ve asked Eurobodalla Shire Council to start preparations for the Malua Bay International Airport and Freight Hub …
If one had time (and one doesn’t) it would be fun to follow up and string this guy along to find out how the scam works. I imagine it’s some variant on the scheme Doug mentioned above. He’s clearly read my web site or he wouldn’t have mentioned blackwood.
I was amused that my spam filter had directed it to the spam bin - I guess the word Nigeria is enough to guarantee that. It must be hell trying to conduct any legitimate business in Nigeria!
Thanks Paul. I’d certainly need to recruit all known makers, and probably the rest of Chiff & Fipple in the testing, packaging and posting divisions. I am currently negotiating with a chap with an African-sounding name in Washington to take over a facility he owns on a picturesque Caribbean island, apparently surplus to current requirements. I understand it already has some catering and security facilities and an all-weather landing strip, as well as convenient access to remaining stands of cocuswood …
Indeed. I’d have to say that the Global Financial Crisis has turned out so far to be a bit of a dissappointment in that regard. Orders are down, for sure, but not to the levels I expected (and perhaps secretly hoped), i.e. zero! I’m certainly seeing fewer orders from the US, which had been my main market, so I guess that tells us something about who’s hurting most. Recent orders have been mostly from Spain, France, England, Japan and Canada.
What has increased though are requests for repairs and restorations, and some very interesting ones. Far too interesting to say no. So despite rapidly approaching retirement age, it looks like nose to the grindstone for a while yet!
I’ve had three small-holed Rudall and Roses over the last few months, the third is in boxwood but has had a very hard life, including tenons broken on at least two separate occasions. Was the original owner a drunk? I also have a really lovely flute by Danish maker Larshof, one by Stuttgart maker Schaufler, and a flute with extraordinary keys by Hartmann. All owned by a professional flute player in Switzerland. Plus a pile of flutes we’d all be more familiar with, or like to be familiar with, including a Pratten with Hudson keys puchased for $20 in the US. So good old flutes are still coming out of the woodwork!
