Did anyone else notice that none of the women have posted replies to this thread?
last post, page 1.
I’m a girl. I promise.
No, you are not a ‘girl,’ you are a WOMAN!!!
I have trouble with political correctness, I’m afraid.
If I may diverge.
My wife (KO Crane, the boxer) and I were visiting her
sister.
KO told me to do something.
I responded:
Whatever you say dear.
You da man!
The sister responded:
She is not a MAN! She is a WOMAN!
Later I was cleaning KO’s father’s hearing aid
(he being unwell), and the spirit moved me
to see if it would fit in KO’s ear. She protested
(we are always harassing each other)
and I said, gesturing appropriately,
‘How about up your nose?’
The sister said:
‘That’s an ASSAULT!’
I asked KO later if she had minded.
She said, No that was playful, that
was fun.
What do you say to people like this?
I confess it did not endear the sister to me.
Hello.
I am not endeared to KO’s sister, just reading your story.
She may need her stridency ratcheted down a notch or two.
But I’m sure she has many other winning traits.
It is appropriate for you to nod, and say nothing.
My bad. But in my defense, you only added lyrics and not your two cents.
Thanks.
I made a joke of it in both cases,
but I came away mad, I confess.
I don’t try to revise other people’s married relationships
uninvited, not my business, I figure.
I count that sort of behaviour intrusive and obnoxious.
Also she’s infantalizing KO, who is capable
of taking care of herself. Also the strident
and grimly humourless feminism is doubly
repugnant, especially in that context.
I guess I haven’t found the winning traits.
“Enquiring minds want to know.”
Ain’t I a woman?
Indeed. As is sbfluter. Mutie was just not paying close attention.
I’m a woman and I replied on page 1. I’m also with a man who had one spouse leave him for lesbianism and another one he “brought back” from it.
I don’t agree with the argument that we’re all basically bisexual so why not just go with heterosexuality. If we’re all basically bisexual why don’t we all just opt for homosexuality?
I think we’re all on a continuum and have to be true to ourselves whatever that truth may be. In some ways, the purely bisexual might have it hardest, with the potential to feel something is missing whatever they choose.
Personally, I don’t see a difference between someone ending a marriage because he’s “realized” he would be more “fulfilled” with another person of his own sex and someone ending a marriage because he’s “realized” he’d feel more “fulfilled” with a blonde…or a younger woman…or a woman of another ethnicity. There’s more to life than “being true to yourself.” Being true to the vows you’ve made, and to the person to whom you made those vows, is more important in my eyes.
Redwolf
Well, I suppose it would depend on exactly what vows you made, though. Those are necessarily religious-specific and not all of them say “til death do us part”. My mom and step-dad had a justice of the peace marry them, and I don’t think they said any vows at all.
Still, they were registering their commitment with the legal community.
My first marriage was presided over by a judge. Making the union legal made it a bit easier for me to get some sort of child support a few years later when my first husband’s tastes in women and family life changed.
I don’t know if I’m on board with comparing sexual orientation to a preference for blondes.
I think sexual orientation could be a reason to end a marriage, if the person in question was sufficiently unhappy with the situation. That’s the issue with any divorce, right? Somebody’s unhappy in the marriage? So why couldn’t sexual orientation be just one more way a person could find themselves unhappy in a marriage? Granted, as Jim has so eloquently put it several times, sex isn’t the sole force driving a marriage, but I’m sure a situation could arise where a person who comes would feel like they need to have a divorce, and be justified.
And maybe I’m just young, but I put “being true to yourself” pretty high on my list of important things, even if you put it in quotes. And if I’d gotten married under iffy pretences, as many gay people (I would imagine) do, I might place “being true to myself” higher than “being true to a vow I’m not sure I meant.”
Absolutely…still, that doesn’t necessarily hold that it’s a permanent commitment. Redwolf’s post saying that the vows are important seemed to imply that the ones she was talking about seemed to be the “in sickness, in health, richer, poorer, etc etc, til death do we part”.
I was just posting a reminder that not everyone has made that particular vow, and that some people have made no promise at all to stay forever together.
Take these vows, for instance:
http://www.weddingclipart.com/guide/wedding-vows/celtic-wedding-vows.html
They seem to only promise love and committment only so long as both parties wish it.
What marriage really does is make someone your closest
family, and it does it in a way where you can sleep with
him/her without it being incest.
I don’t think anybody has any real doubts that this is true–
marriage creates voluntarily a fundamental family bond.
In this regard it’s like having a child–you no longer come
first, being ‘true to yourself’ is no longer your highest
priority. If this isn’t for you–and there is no reason
why it should be–better not to marry.
That doesn’t mean you stay if you’re miserable
or the relationship is bad–though surely there’s
a responsibility to make things better through
any means at your disposal, e.g. counseling.
But you don’t leave so you can better express
yourself. Not what family is about.
If you marry someone s/he may become sick and unable
to have sex–you don’t leave for that reason. S/he
may become old and unnattractive. You don’t leave
for that reason–not if you’re a mench. You may want
to start again with a beautiful vibrant young woman
as bad as you’ve ever wanted anything–you
don’t do it. Being true to yourself doesn’t justify
it.
Love is giving of yourself–it’s worth thinking through
what ‘giving of yourself’ really means. Part of it is
that you and your needs no longer come first.
On the other hand, as Woody Allen put it,“Being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date on Saturday night”.
I accept and respect that others may not agree, but I think you pretty well covered my thoughts here, Jim.
Who knew there were all these women on this thread? Not me. I must be really pitiful at picking up clues because this isn’t the first time that I’ve been in error about folks’ gender.