I need to practice the flute more.
I guess we all learn that from our flutes!
Hugh
Actually, I usually learn that lesson over again by scrutinizing the facial expressions of people listening to me play 
I can’t scrutinize their faces. They keep leaving the room!
I played the Rose yesterday at Appleby’s. The manager was going around giving balloons to kids, and he saw my flute, and he said “are you any good?”
I laughed and said “I’ve been playing for 9 days” (which is an exaggeration..I borrowed Jim’s Seery for something over a month…but regardless, I’m a rank noob).
He laughed too and said “Got it, not any good.” at which point I played An Cat Dubh well enough at least to earn a balloon
You are both trying to make this harder than it needs to be.
Play with your eyes closed.
Actually, I do! I know them by the sounds of their stampeding.
Pratten! Play louder.
I just realized..in giving me the balloon, the guy engaged my hand, preventing me from playing any more flute…I understand his plan all the more clearly now..
Okay it’s like being paid not to play…You can still claim pro status!
That’s funny!
Whenever our band plays and someone asks if we take requests, we say “‘Stop, Please?’ Sorry, we don’t know that one.”
And then of course there’s the response to the “Do you sell CDs?” question – “Sure, we’ve got trunkloads of 'em. They’re not of us, but hey, they’re of someone better!”
Or, the tune request that I occasionally get when I play my pipes: “Hey, buddy, can you play, ‘Far, Far, Away?’”
With best regards,
Steve Mack
Now you’ll have to join the union.
I led a group of dignitaries on a new foot trail while trying to play a flute on a windy day, not very successfully, I have to admit. They took mercy on me and gave me a free box lunch and a $20 dollar bill. Ever since then, I refer to myself as a professional musician.
Profession/Procession…
'long as it’s got a beat.
At least fluters only have to anwer questions about their musical abilities, or lack of same. They don’t have to deal with questions about their mode of dress and GHP players do! The most common from the ladies 9?) being, “Is there anything worn under the kilt?” Answer: “No, madam. everything is as good as it ever was.”
At our gigs we try to add a little (!) humor to the mix. Quite often, though, there’s one or more audience members who have one of those really wierd laughs. Tends to throw the band off, 'cause it’s a really strange sound. Sounds like, “Shut the $%^& up!”. Disruptive, eh? 
We have a waltz by that title we play here on just those occasions! It’s actually quite pretty.
Jennie