London Sacrifices Virgins after one centimetre of snow.
Looks like the UK has its own Onion.
looks like!
virgins 
I imagine Madame Tussaud’s could burn nicely for a good, long time.
Yeah, I know. In London? Maybe they meant trains. (We have Virgin Trains, owned by Richard Branson.)
harder to find than grass feed beef, I’d think
it’s just fer barbecue 
most of 'em 'll be too drunk ta notice 
over here, we call it “THE WHITE DEATH” but we just buy bread and milk. You guys have way more fun.
One little centimeter, hey over here we measure snow in inches - centimeters? That’s nothing. 
I thought you guys were supposed to get global warming? This has been the coolest year all around.
Like Missy said, when the first snow comes they scream “White Death” and the DJs play dramatic music on the radio and psyche everyone out, A nice 35 minute drive home becomes 2.5 hours
We went to sleep expecting occasional flurried and getting over four inches. London got a centimrter (approx 0.4 inches). What a difference a decimal point makes. I’d happily trade.
Actually, Daniel, since you are closer to where I work than my own house is, I’m coming to YOUR place the next time we have a WHITE DEATH!!! 
The first real snow of the year usually seems the worst. My short list of possible reasons are…
First, it seems many people have forgotten how to drive in the snow and need to relearn the basics.
B) People that have moved here from warmer climates are on a steep learning curve on how to deal with snow.
III) Purchasing a new car can leave you expecting different performance than what you were use to the year before.
Lastly, cold effects tire pressure, and low tire pressure causes poor traction (really, check your tires, we have included it in our winterizing steps.)
you forgot -
They can’t drive in nice weather, much less know what to do when it gets bad out.
Definitely #1, I’d say.
Does simple stupidity count?
For days I’ve been wondering where the Londoners managed to dig up a virgin to sacrifice.