Ah, a bodhran player. That explains everything.
At our sessions, MaryC, we would feast on Miss Manners’ entrails for lunch. 
yes…kinda went to d’uh in a heart beat
Well, I didn’t want to be accused of prejudice right off the bat…
How diplomatic of you!
Not that bodhran players would know the diff.
J/K!
That’s an interesting tale, Nano. It reminded me of a routine I saw several times in a local session. Each time one smallish “nice” man came into the session, one of the other men (large and loud) would jeer at him and make a show of competing for the attention of one of the women who was present. I’m pretty sure the bully was simply asserting his place in the pecking order: dominance. It was more revealing than the bully would have guessed that he chose a weakling to dominate.
Anyway, I hope I’m not thrashing the obvious, but it seems to me that Nano hit the nail on the head with the comment about butch points. The solution probably isn’t to out butch the Neanderthals, because that’d be hard to pull off.
A take worth considering, azw. I really hadn’t thought of that, as my “butch points” bit was utterly tongue-in-cheek, although there are pics of me out, now, so I couldn’t lie to you anyway. 
No, the fellow, while bluff by nature, is really a decent chap all in all, just sort of like a draft horse that you have to keep an eye on lest he inadvertently step on your foot. Plus, really we’re both too…um…mature for serious stakes in that sort of game.
I could see the sort of thing you mention happening, although I haven’t seen it yet at sessions here, which is a Good Thing. The climate I’m used to is that wit and/or ability gets the upper hand, and while Alpha-maleish types are innately impressive, they better keep it on the backburner and come armed with something to add to the craic (and be ready to take what they dish out in good humor if it comes to that), or keep quiet and just play. Career trogs risk social suicide.
To be honest, if someone acted like that toward me, it’s worth remembering that they may actually subconsciously see me as true competition in some way, or else why would they bother to put on the chest-beating display? Think about it. But then, maybe that sort of thing is just ingrained habit, and takes on all comers. Who knows? I don’t. I’ll amend, though, that stick between friends is another thing, and gets tit for tat, and all in good humor.
Anyway, I don’t care about that business. I just care about my pint.
In the story I told, the two men were about 50 years old. It’s interesting that this kind of behavior doesn’t disappear with age. We may be wrinkly outside, but we’re still kids inside.
Yeah, I agree with your point about the salt and pepper dude possibly seeing you as competition. That’s the flip side of what I was saying here: “It was more revealing than the bully would have guessed that he chose a weakling to dominate.” I like your take on it!
I’m not saying the salt and pepper guy is bad or someone to avoid. The two guys in the story I told became friends over time, and both of them are good people… whatever that means!
BTW, there’s a fascinating, entertaining, and humbling book, "Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes "by Frans de Waal. The book illuminates this kind of behavior embarrassingly well.
Ain’t it the truth.
Good points all. I’ll repeat (or at least clarify), though, that in this case I’m convinced that the salt-and-pepper incident had nothing to do, really, with competition. It was just a case of inner monologue and a sense of one’s personal space getting in the way of being aware of one’s surroundings, and of sticking to one’s guns out of principle (right or wrong) once the gaffe had been pointed out. Admitting human fallibility comes hard to him, bless him. I COULD be wrong, but I don’t think so this time around.
Knowing him as I do, it would have been an entirely out-of-character gambit on his part in the friendly jabs game, so that’s why I don’t think it falls under that sort of thing. Well, maybe the sticking to one’s guns part does in a way, but he wound up hoist on his own petard for it.
And I think I’d really like that book. Thanks for the tip. 
You might be right that he got stuck in a “bullheaded” mode. Would he normally have difficulty admitting to a mistake?
This is an interesting incident. I would love to have seen it firsthand.
I’d watch my beer closely from now on if I were you, Nano.
djm
When is that session? I’ll check my calendar…
As witness to the incident in question I can in good faith tell all of you that Nano is not over reacting. In fact, he dealt with the whole thing with more grace than many in attendance that evening would have, myself included.
The “gentleman” in question…
- Has decent eyesight, and seemed otherwise unimpaired.
- Is well meaning and likable enough, but is too often an inconsiderate lout with appalling manners. ( Like when he ashed his cigarette on my old half set of example…)
- Is indeed enough of a chunder head to not apologize for seasoning one’s Smithwick’s. (see comments on 'Bullhead" mode…)
- Needs to invest in a metronome.
- Has received the “verbal bris” from several others for similarly rude behavior and been slapped by a waitress or two in his time.
Despite his self deprecation, Nano needs no help in the butch department. The situation in question was less about who was the alpha male but one of oafish ham-handedness on the part of your man there. A simple word of apology from him or even a joke or the likes would have resolved the whole issue.
Yeah…it maybe time to give hiding the tippers some thought. 
Thanks for the thorough corroboration, Ceadach!
This beater certainly has all the traits of a lout and oaf.
Sigh. He’s sort of like this big aggravating pet that you’ve had forever but can’t get rid of in good conscience. You just clean up and move on. And to his credit, usually he waits to eat until pretty much everyone else has. So he’s got his good points, and is not at all completely without consideration.
But in the end, what counts is I was awake and covered my pint. It would have been a bigger indictment on me if I hadn’t.
Miss Manners does not have such vile things as “entrails”. Also, she recommends grilling rather than roasting these days, in order to reduce the amount of inappropriate substances in the diet.
(Where’s the smiley for a haughtily upturned nose???
I’m sure Denny has something there in his grab-bag for you.
Nanohedron wrote:
At our sessions, MaryC, we would feast on Miss Manners’ entrails for lunch.Mary C writes:
Miss Manners does not have such vile things as “entrails”. Also, she recommends grilling rather than roasting these days, in order to reduce the amount of inappropriate substances in the diet.(Where’s the smiley for a haughtily upturned nose???
I see. So…Ms Manners is gutless then?? 
Yep, those sorts fair very poorly at our local sessions. 
Ah, no… 
however Cat has turned up some nice ones lately, perhaps she’ll stop by.
you have lived with a dog…haven’t you!