• F, a fluteplayer
• B, a banjo player
• D, a bodhrán player
Act 1, Scene 1: F is availing himself of the free chicken “fingers”.
D: “You sure are going for that chicken.”
F: “Hell, yeah: I’m all about MEAT. Besides, no one else is eating it. It’s just sitting there, lonesome.”
B: “That’s not a very balanced diet.”
F: “No worries. I’ve got my veggies in the breading.”
D: “Well, strictly speaking, breading is grains.”
F: “I’m rationalising, here. Leave me alone.”
Chickens are omnivores. A completely balanced diet for another omnivore. But people who play instruments made from dead critters shouldn’t critize carnivores.
On a day to day basis, I’m actually long addicted to eating wholesome, “healthy” foods. Mmm, great stuff! However, I occasionally do pig out, and there I’m one to throw most of my usual caution to the wind. Just the other day, for instance, I went grocery shopping, and got a very rare bucketful of store-made macaroni salad at the store’s deli counter. Then, when I got home I popped the top on the bucket, grabbed a fork, and scarfed.
Unfortunately, the next day I dared to look at the list of ingredients. Ouch, did I do that to myself?
…As F has said himself, many’s the time. A banjo is a bodhrán with strings. But, being genetically similar, they tend to herd together and gang up on the poor fluteplayers.
Nice. Like Meatro®, but with none of the guilt. Well, F would have something to say about that: there’s an oilfield somewhere being depleted for the sake of their musical sins. Oops. I meant “skins”. At least suppliers are trying to farm blackwood sustainably these days.
We wind players (due to a far more grueling physical exertion while playing) have a greater need for protein, and metabolize it quite differently than percussionists or string players, on whom the evidence of an excess chicken finger or two would blatantly sit like an elephant seal at the bottom of their shirts.
