I have a question not to do with piping but piping-related in that it concerns sessions, but not to do with sessions as such but session-related in that it concerns the buying of ‘rounds’ as in the buying for others in the session a pint of their favourite.
Accuse me of having a sheltered life you may, that’s fine, I have but my question is
what exactly is the ettiqutte concerning buying rounds. If there are 8 people in a session and they all drink and one buys the first round including for me, obviously I am obliged to offer to buy that person a drink later on. What if, however, I am not the most financially endowed and can only afford to buy two maybe three pints and it is my turn to offer to buy the round?
Should I hold off on accepting drinks from others beforehand so as to keep my obligation to a minimum, and then perhaps coming across as perhaps anti-social?
How do these ettiquttes differ between countries where pipers are found?
It depends on how well you know the others. If some/most of the others are your friends and know you probably don’t have the wherewithall to be buying rounds, they will not expect it of you. If they still want to buy you a round, consider it a gift from a friend (or maybe they think you’re really amusing when they get you pissed).
If you’re amongst strangers, its 50/50 whether they will get huffy when you don’t offer to buy another round or if they will consider buying a round an icebreaker, and no onus on others to do the same. This is especially true if its a mixed crowd. You won’t often see the girls buying rounds (then again, there are some ladies with incredible capacity for drink). Personally, I think that anyone who buys a round has no business expecting others to do the same unless it is an established tradition amongst all those assembled, with exceptions for newcomers to the group.
My experience from Finland was that the pub where we had our monthly sessions payed for our drinks (beer only) while we were playing (i.e. more the others were playing … me very, very seldom). In Finland it’s usually common that everybody takes care of his own drinking as booze is so horribly expensive (compared to the rest of the world except for Sweden and Norway maybe ).
But in your case I would buy that guy a beer maybe after session while you still sit together and chat. And I’m sure everybody will also understand your situations when (what I doupt) someone might ask.
Like Glands, I tend not to drink in rounds either, but I’ve had the awkward situation where pints have been plonked in front of me and I haven’t known how to deal with the situation. Of course I drink it out of appreciation of the gesture, but I’ve also seen other musicians quielty refuse the drink by gently pushing it over to somone else. In Australia here there is a culture of ‘shouts’ - each member of the group taking turns to ‘shout’ the others a drink - that can get expensive - although I’ve never seen this happen in our local sessions but in your typical friday evening ‘drinks with the boys’ type events that seems to be the case. I’ve never participated in that and I don’t know to what extent the turn taking is enforced in practice.
DJM - "Personally, I think that anyone who buys a round has no business expecting others to do the same unless "
Musicians in a session should be sponsored. If the session does have a ‘session anchor’, that person should be looking after the sessioners. If there is no ‘session anchor’, you should negotiate a round or two or a sessioner discount bar price with the bar owner. Do that and the others will be moved to buy you a ‘free’ round - no strings attached - immediately.
I’m afraid it’s going to depend mostly on your session/area. I don’t think there’s one simple answer to this question which would apply everywhere. That said, although I feel obligated to at least offer to buy a round for someone who has bought for me, I would never expect someone I have purchased a round for to be obligated to reciprocate. Funny, that.
It’d take a lifetime to explain the etiquette of the round. This is probably one time when you should play the role of the uneducated foreigner .
Anecdote:
A girl I know from Donegal returned from travelling round Europe with her new Swedish boyfriend. The girl’s father, 5 brothers and a handful of uncles decide to give the boyfriend a proper welcome and they drag him down to the local to introduce him to all and sundry. The father buys the first round. The Swede offers to buy the second but he’s told ‘Sit down, you’re our guest’. The second round arrives and is consumed. He stands up to buy the third round and is told ‘Your money’s no good here’… etc. Long story short, the Swede doesn’t get to buy a round the entire night.
Next morning the brothers are discussing the sister’s new boyfriend. What’s the general concensus? Nice fellow, but didn’t put his hand in his pocket the whole night!!
If you ever want to see an Irish bar go completely silent, play bodhran for a couple of hours, THEN walk up to the barman in the middle of a packed Friday night and ask for a cup of coffee. In a Canadian/Midwestern accent. I did, and it did. (Matt Molloy’s) Boy, that was ‘fun’.
Of course, noone expected me to buy the rounds after that. I guess if you want to go for the freak factor, that’s a good way to do it. Oh, and the long hair helped.
What a minefield this is, even for natives (in Ireland I mean). And this is even without the complication of a session!
You have to understand that in Ireland, “no” does not mean “no”, and “yes” does not mean “yes”.
So, if you ask someone “would you like a drink”, you expect them to say “no (thanks)”. But you know that they know that you will continue to insist, and eventually, after lots of “no” and “no, really”, they will say “yes”. So the waltz is complete. (The trick is, if you are the one being asked, to give in before the ‘asker’ gives in - that is if you really wanted the drink all along).
So, especially if you are a visitor, or the “rellie” back from Australia (or US or outer mongolia) asking “can I buy a round”, will always, in polite company, be met with complete refusal. But that does not mean you are not expected to buy a round (or lots of them). You are expected to engage in a virtual arm-wrestle to be allowed to buy one. Otherwise, you really will be thought of as “having short arms and deep pockets”.
It’s exhausting. It’s enough to “drive you from the drink” altogether.
Drinking water doesn’t always help. 'Round here the water is 2.40 Euro or something like that per 6 oz bottle. Tap water is best requested alongside “paying drink”.
As a foreigner you’re allowed to be a little slow on the uptake I think, but even if you can’t buy an entire round, you may find yourself able to buy 2 or three drinks. If you’re not drinking yourself, that’s likely to be noticed and IMO no one will think you ungenerous as a result.
(disclaimer: I’m just a “blow in” myself, not a native)
At the session I go to in St. Minneapaulis, The House buys everyone the first round. That’s to say, your first drink is free.
Sometimes a patron will buy a round for everyone. I do not recall ever having a sessioneer buy a round for everyone. Must be a reserved, cultural thing. Don’t want to seem too enthusiastic now!
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