This just in from the Beeb…
Edinburgh Closed For Renovation
by our City Correspondent
“Edinburgh,” said the writer Robert Louis Stevenson, “is what Paris ought to be.”
Not so according to Councillor Ewan McFlintlock. “It’s in a wee bit of a state, actually,” said Cllr McFlintlock, “Unless of course Paris was in a wee bit of a state when Mr Stevenson wrote that, ye ken?”
Indeed, Scotland’s cultural centre did have the appearance of being somewhat frayed around the edges in spite of the early morning drizzle. The rain, which had already washed away the worst traces of a night’s excess following yesterday’s country dance festival, did little to raise Cllr McFlintlock’s spirits.
“It’s May and June,” he explained with a shrug, “There’s all sorts on, what with the Best Toy Trains in The World exhibition, and yon country dancing. Not to mention the Haddington Festival Open Art and Craft Exhibition. What wi’ that, and the tourists, things could use a spot o’ paint and a wee tidy-up, d’ye ken?”
We did indeed ken. But what we didn’t ken was why the city fathers had elected to close the famed city for almost two weeks during one of its busiest times.
“Well,” Cllr McFlintlock explained, "It’s no’ a decision we took lightly, mon. But tartin’ up the whole place’ll take a fair bit o’ time, and yon tourists and the like wouldnae be too thrilled to find yon Castle reekin’ o’ paint when they come tae see the Donny Osmond concert
But closing the whole City?
“Aye. From the 3rd of July to the 13th, Edinburgh will be shut.” The councillor sighed.
Won’t that harm local businesses?
“Aye well, we wondered that ourselves. But we checked, wi’ one o’ them computer things? There’s only one tourist booked tae visit during that whole two-week period, and he’s Swiss, they say. We’ve made arrangements to divert him to Glasgae, he’ll likely never ken the difference anyway.”
I’ll ge erm a wee phonie call and a er’m change the bed sheets