Having paid several hundred dollars about a year ago having someone take care of the squirrels in my attic (the literal squirrels in my literal attic), I’d like to announce that, as of today, I again have squirrels in the attic, literally and, consquently, also figuratively.
You have my deepest sympathy. I suppose moving or burning down the house are out of the question.
We had them at another house 20 years ago and they crept into my head. Spent lots of $ trying to get rid of them. Had to go through it several times. To this day when I wake up in the middle of the night, I wonder if I just heard them scratching across the bedroom ceiling.
Do you have any idea where they are getting in at? If you do, you may need to “patch” the hole with metal. They ARE rodents, after all, and they will chew through wood to get access.
I’ve never had squirrels in the house, but have had my share of “battles” with them over the bird feeders. They broke the glass on one feeder. I hung a feeder under a porch roof where I was sure they wouldn’t be able to get at it - they would hang from their back feet, swing back and forth until they got the momentum up to leap across to it.
I actually had one use the top of our Rubbermaid garbage can as a trampoline to “look” into the house. I’m serious - I caught this “thing” out of the corner of my eye at the window, and when I looked closer - there was a squirrel jumping on the can and looking into the window!!!
They also would sit in the big maple out front and throw nuts at anyone going in and out the front door.
And, of course, there was the whole problem with fleas (and a dalmation that was allergic to fleas).
I hate squirrels.
Time to keep a cat in the attic. Maybe a bobcat.
After taking a tree limb through the roof two years ago, a raccoon took up residence in our attic. Unfortunately it was up there when the roof was fixed. We were able to trap it ourselves in a havaheart trap. With a raccoon, if this doesn’t work the first time (there’s a <100% chance that it will), it will never work. Squirrels, OTOH, aren’t nearly as smart as raccoons and are very easy to trap. I’d suggest patching the hole they get in through and then trapping them.
I just went up and could see light shining in through the hole. The same one that was patched a year ago. Last year we went though a couple of weeks of trying to trap them with a live trap. The triggering mechanism was tricky and so I ended up treating them to lots of peanut butter. (If I made it to easy to trigger, the trap would spring, apparently before they’d ever go in and if I made it too hard, well, you know…) My wife is reduced to asking me to shoot every squirrel in the neighborhood and I’m presently trying to explain to her that my walking around the neighborhood blasting away with a shotgun in suburban Birmingham, is probably, on balance, not a very good idea.
So, I’m going to the hardware store this week in search of the better squirrel trap. My search of the Internet suggests that this is really the only way to go, although I admit to being a bit intrigued by a $250 high-intensity strobe light (http://www.doyourownpestcontrol.com/squirrelevictor.htm) which is supposed to annoy the squirrels enough to make them leave. I’m sure if I spent $250 on this strobe light device, these squirrels would just sit around and smoke pot and listen to Iron Butterfly. Probably would leave me a note asking for a blacklight, too.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Dale
I have had an on/off battle with squirrels for over twenty years. It is not quite correct to say they chew through the eaves to get in. What happens is that the wood in the eaves gets weakened over time by moisture, which attracts insects, who weaken the wood further, and then when the wood is weak enough the squirrels then chew through. This suggests to me that you may have moisture problems to deal with.
What solved the squirrel problem for me was to have all the eaves redone and covered with aluminum trim. I have had no pests since. The only trap that ever worked for me was the Have-a-Heart trap. You can drown them or release them as your conscience dictates. Any squirrel with the good taste to play Inagodadavida all day long may well be worth having around.
djm
Have you tried these electronic thingies?
http://www.dutchguard.com/p-SB925.html
Or you could sit up in the attic for a couple of days playing an ultra-high G whistle…
Or hire an Uilleann Piper for real cheap (a few bottles of whiskey ought to cover it!) to sit and play in your attic for about a week. Once the sqirrels are gone, you can patch up the hole. Getting rid of the piper then, will be the issue. To do this, give them a few bottles of buttermilk (or simply tell them the whiskey is gone), and VOILA, both problems solved. 
You mean squirrels in the attic…and bats in the belfry?
Ferrets!
Get yerself a Ferret!!!
Thompson squirrel-in-the-atticomatic.
Do I hear an echo?
djm
We tried the sonic devices. Wasted money.
A few tricks we saw the pros use. They lined the area around the hole (6’ in each direction) with lead. They lined the rest of the flat board above the gutter with sheet metal. At our place, the squirrels would sit on the gutter and chew a hole. Because trap and release is not legal in Massachusetts they installed little conical rigid wire mesh devices over the hole that would let the little buggers out, but not in. Sort of a one way valve. This was to get them out in the first place.
We made sure no tree limb reached within about 8’ of the house.
Nearby phone poles and trees were wrapped with 24" of foil smeared with vaseline.
Cover the inside of attic vents and any other open ventilation with wire mesh.
They’re looking for a nice place for the winter. If they get comfortable they will start breeding. You’ll hear it in the middle of the night. You really don’t want the next generation of squirrels thinking you’re attic is the origin of their creation story.
You might encourage the local coyote population over for a snack.
You didn’t need to do that, Dale. Squirrels can fend for themselves.
Best wishes,
Jerry
Steel mesh with abandon…that’s the way I got rid of rats in my attic. Git up there and staple the stuff till nothing can get through. They were driving me crazy. Did I mention that I hate RATS! But as we all know, squirrels are…cute…
Best wishes
I saw a really great “Dirty Jobs” episode (on Discovery channel) that followed an exterminator company around for a day. I thought they were a hoot–Vexcon was the company. They were very Goth, environmentally conscious as far as chemicals went, and inventive.
One site, a farm, had a terrific rat problem. The exterminators set a rat-sized “check valve” in the in the house eaves (yes, rats EVERYWHERE), and were setting rat-sized snap traps up there too. (Be careful, you can break a finger if they snap on you.)
The house trailer with the roach infestation got to me, though. When he picked up the phone answering machine and tapped it on the counter, a bazillion bugs came out. He said they love the electronic frequencies or warmth or something, and he always found bugs in the electronics.
Back more on topic–yes, I’ve had squirrels and other mammals in the attic. We covered the holes with hardware cloth and that seemed to baulk them, at least for a while.
The last time I was up in the attic, I brought down 4 or 5 shed skins 4 or 5 feet long from the black rat snakes in residence on the property. I guess they also discourage the squirrels–at least in weather warm enough for the snakes to be active. I’m not sure you want to have them in your attic any more than you’d want a drunken piper.
M
Yeah, they are cute - but they’re still just rats with good PR. 
I’d been hearing them on our roof - I just cut back some overgrown privet hedges (turns into a small tree if left alone for a couple of years) and haven’t heard them in the week since. If I hear them inside the attic, our cat’s getting her bed relocated for a few days. She doesn’t need to catch them, just convince them that our attic is NOT a good place to winter over.
Best of luck. Hope you can solve it without getting the $$$ professionals out again.
I just wondered whether your squirrels are the same as the “imported” ones we have here. They are grey squirrels and they were introduced from Canada in the 19th century. They have almost completely displaced our native red squirrel, which is only distantly related and is a far more attractive beast. I haven’t heard of greys being a direct nuisance in houses, though they are inveterate thieves of food put out for birds and are very resourceful when it come to getting at it. Most people regard 'em as being slightly on the cuddly side but I have a strong dislike for 'em myself.
Steve