We went to the zoo yesterday, see the jailed animals (always good education to the children: “see? that’s what happens when you don’t behave”).
Well, this time, instead of the usual smiley teen-ager at the entrance, there was a much sterner teen-ager who demanded to see “an id”. After some searching around, i produced “an id” for her. Then we found out that they had added a second check-in booth (and a sign that says “all cars must stop in both booths”). In the second booth, an acne-afflicted young man examined our tickets and waived us in. I asked him why we had to stop twice, and he said: “huh… this here is a security check”. I asked, “so, are we secure, then?” and he said “yes.”
I felt very silly.
I’m not sure what’s worse: the fact that this is a completely inneficient and stupid “security” measure, or the very fact that they thought they needed to implement it. Still, if it keeps one more acne-afflicted teen-ager employed (and less likely to listen to rap music), that’s ok.
Later i had a flash of inspiration: the American economy has evolved from agrarian to industrial, to services-based, to information technology, and finally it’s entering it’s newest phase: security-based economy!
[edit: title changed to appease the Brittish.]
[edit: offending word “pimple” removed to appease mothers of teenagers]
It’s inneficient because the person in the second booth didn’t have any more information than the person in the first booth. If we were concealing Arabs in the car, for example, the first person would have seen their turbans. If my name had been in the Naughty People list, the person in the first booth would have seen it, when she checked “an id”. The only thing the security check did was to look over the entry tickets that the person in the first booth gave out. So basically you have two people doing the work of one. The second person’s salary could have been used to buy peanuts for the monkeys, or some other useful thing.
I would never know. This is the United States, not some kind of free-information country. In either case, the fact that they thought they needed to increase their comfort level by implementing a bogus “security” measure, is bad.
As an aside, I’ve been suprised and a little disturbed by the reduction in security in the UK.
It used to be that if you carried a bag of any size into a public building, you’d have it searched. Of course this doesn’t stop you strapping the semtex bomb under your shirt, but it’s a measure of sorts. It seems to be happening less these days.
I don’t suppose they ever actually catch terrorists this way, but it’s fun to put inappropriate items (gooey used tissues, amateur photgrapher magazines etc) in your bag and see the expression on the security guard’s face.
But your police carry those great sub-machine guns. As you recall you warned me that I was about to be shot for smoking. Very scary incident if I do say so.
A strange affair Glaub,
Strikes me as something that the Zoos insurance company came up with to justify a hike in the premium.
Get a couple of spotty teens ,call them security guards and everyone is happy.
The only security I need to see in a Zoo is that which keeps the animals away from me.
Martins comment about the decline of Security over here reminded me of a strange shift in the perception of threats after 9/11. Previous to that sad day ,Irish accents got noticed everywhere and if there was a bag or a parcel in close proximity to that accent then you really got noticed.
Nowaday we seem to be almost ignored but all that unwelcome attention,not to mention the dreaded Tick - Tock jokes goes to the poor Iraqis or anybody else with a darker complexion.
In Sri Lanka entering Buddhist temples there is a man who
stops you if you are Western:
‘You must buy a ticket!’
‘But I’m a Buddhist…’
‘You are white. You must buy a ticket!’
‘Sir, I’m a Buddhist and I’ve come to meditate here.
Others, tourists from your own country who aren’t
Buddhists but Hindus or Christians, are allowed in free. Why
should a Buddhist by charged to enter a
Buddhist temple?’
‘You are Western, you must buy a ticket!’
In one temple we entered through a side entrance
and met some of the monks. The head priest came out, saw us,
and set the ticket collector on us. ‘Where is your ticket?’ The monks
protested angrily: ‘He’s a Buddhist and a professor
at Peridenya (a local university)!’
It was getting nasty so I said: ‘I will of course give dana (a donation
given to support the life of the monks)’
The ticket seller withdrew, grudgingly but as we left
he came up to us.
‘How much dana did you give?’ he demanded.
‘Sir, this is a private matter,’ I reasoned.
The USA sometimes strikes me as an oasis of reason,
frankly. Imagine, by the way, being charged money
to enter a Christian church.
Nor, for that matter, is the zoo in question the whole of the USA. I’ve never been asked to see identification at the zoo, here, unless using the zoo members’ rate (i.e. free), and thus the ID was just to verify our membership.
Ah, but Glauber old chap, it might have been far more efficient and a lot more sinister than you think.
A double-stop check allows for information processing time to occur between the first stop and the second.
At the first stop, for example, the license plate of your car is scanned and so are you. Didn’t you notice the cameras?
By the time you reach the second stop, results are in and either a) no action is taken beyond “Sir may I see your ticket” (in a Simpson’s teenager’s achey-breaky voice) or b) you find yourself surrounded by heavily armed chappies with the “Sir, step out of the car” (in a non-Simpson’s professional no-nonsense move-your-ass-or-I-shoot-you military voice) and SMGs.
It’s a very effective method. Works great in “drive-thru” locations such as toll-roads/tunnels/bridges (scanned on the way in, checked before you’ve reached the other end), ‘drive-thru restaurants’ (pay at one booth, wait an age for the checks, collect food at second booth), and of course zoos. Any place in fact where large numbers of people wouldn’t expect it.
Cool Britannia!