So… what’s your zombie plan? Ya know, for when the zombie invasion starts.
Mine is to take out a houseboat with solar panels into a large lake with plenty of fishing gear. Zombies can’t swim, so they can’t get to me, and I have food for life in the abundant fish. Since it’d be a freshwater body no shortage of water. Not sure 'bout what to do about my beer needs though.
So… what’s yours?
To become a zombie, of course!
Having played extensive amounts of Dead Rising, I know that it isn’t the zombies you must fear, but the survivors. People get crazy.
Head down to the Winchester.
Not a bad plan, actually. Beer needs sorted, and people mill around like zombies at the pub anyway. You could blend in perfectly.
I hope the crisis will wait until the resident zombie expert is back from school. I must ask his advice re: the plan.
I do like the houseboat idea though.
Perhaps, as a variation on the theme, I will initiate a flotilla of zeppelins, interconnected by rope-bridges.
Of course we’d lack the steady supply of seafood available to boat-dwellers, but we’ll try to keep enough
provisions on board to hold us until we get our solar powered bio-dome zeppelin up and running for food
production purposes.
My wife has been searching high and wide for a zombie maid for years. Before the invasion, the maid will keep our home clean and us fed while we float in the pool. During and after the invasion, the zombie maid will keep the homestead secure and clean and us fed while we float in the pool. We’ve gotten used to eaten no-salt, low-salt foods. We’re ready.
PM me if you are WTT Zombie for a violin.
We live where we want. We have chainsaws and shot guns. The doctors tell us aerobic exercise is good for us. On a completely serious note Zombies are no longer a threat since the Raytheon came up with this:
Place these around your home, on your cars, at the market, where ever. Zombies are so stupid they just cook until they fall apart. Don’t use them as compost though, no telling what they have been eating. Our city is going to have special Haz-mat days for Zombie pick-up.
Zombies can’t swim, but they can walk underwater and climb an anchor chain…
My Plan - head to a tall building and block the stairs.
No need for a plan. It’ll be too late to say you’re sorry. How would I know? Why should I care?
That’s right when they come looking for me I won’t be there. Let me tell you.
I think I saw that in a movie once, but I don’t think the film took currents into account. Large bodies of water aren’t as static as they might look on the surface, not to mention the pressure at depth should make hominids, zombie or no, a lot less mobile. As a safeguard though I guess I should have some kind of warning system to automatically pull the anchor if zombies are detected within a given proximity.
It would really be more practical to be on saltwater where it is really deep. That way the corrosive effects of the saltwater combined with cold temps. and high pressure would cause dissolution of Zombie tissue and bones. You can use photovoltaics to run reverse osmosis water treatment facilities to get yer fresh water, besides everybody likes tuna with seaweed salad.
Not to mention that I would need a supply of salt and other electrolytes which would be sorely lacking on a lake. Good point.
I should warn you though that it would need to be in a cooler spot on an ocean, no tropics. And as the number of Zombies increase on the ocean floor the CCD level would rise as the water column becomes saturated with calcite from Zombie bones. So conceivably they could eventually travel the whole ocean floor even at depths exceeding 4000m. It would take a lot of Zombies and I don’t know if the census bureau has an accurate count of Zombie populations.
A boat on a lake is not a complete biotope. It would be like living in the middle of your own toilet.
And zombies don’t have to swim - they float. It would take nothing for a floating raft of zombies to reach and encircle your boat, using a few of their members as sails. Any zombies that didn’t make it to your boat would become fishfood and … What was it you were going to live off of again?
I am looking forward to the latest developments in solar and wind energy. With sufficient rechargeable batteries, there is no reason you could not live a long, successful existence surrounded by security devices that you keep powered yourself, with no need for outside sources. A well stocked armoury goes without saying, of course, just for entertainment purposes if nothing else.
djm
I myself look forward to a Zombie cooking series on The Food Network.
Zombies don’t float. Only the very recently undead can float and as soon as they out-gas they sink like a stone. Stephan J. Goul has written extensively about Zombie biology in his book “Wonderful Undead.”
Stephan J. Goul has not seen our local swimming pools.
djm
I should point out there is expected to be a substantial increase in the undead wandering the streets in just over four days.
Waterwings don’t count, besides the real undead are not tool users, your pool has some other organism like Canadians or something.