I just though we might have some fun with this!
The question posed is:
You Know You Are An Irish Flute Player When…
To which replys like:
You Apply Cork Grease To Your Lips!
You relandscape your yard to include Bamboo and Boxwood Bushes!
I’m guilty of both the above, but it could also be more hypothetical like:
You drink your Guinness through a really big straw!
Let’s just see where this goes! 
…you think of nasty things when seeing a can of peanuts.
The guy playing next to you slips on the floor as he’s getting out of his chair.
Those last two could be any kind of flute player - not Irish specific enough!
…when your flute smells of Guinness. (Weak, I know, but best I could trawl up on the fly…)
…when you start thinking (while playing some chunes) tweed or Irish woolies would make some sexy lingerie for your wife or girlfriend!
…when you see a handsome stranger from across the room, and the first thing you notice is his lovely flute! (sorry Tiff, just had to mention that one!) 
You do short rolls when you drum your fingers on the table.
You start raving to friends & family about Paddy Carty - ‘Paddy Who??’
Along those lines … you describe a playing style as Cartyesque. 
when a Cat puts the Carty before the Horsey ?
I’ve tried talkin’ to her about that…
does no good…
Cats
… you think of all the good ornaments that you could insert while singing your national anthem.
in every hotel room you stay in, you throw out the Gideon Bible and leave behind a copy of Last Night’s Fun in its place
Oooh, that’s hard-core!
You know you’re a simple-system flute freak when you find yourself looking at bicycle pumps, mailbox posts, narwhal tusks and the like and thinking “I bet there’s a geezer somewhere who could get a tune out of that!”
Aye. Er…Naaaayyyy!
You look at wedding bands and wonder if they come large enough to fit your flute!
You speak of tongueing and throating, people snicker, and you are genuinely surprised.
. . .you do a glottal stop 'tween every five words in conversation.
.
You look at the stacks of pipe for a new water main and wonder what keys they would play in!
Oh! You’ve seen my M&E ! 