I have loved the haiku form since I learned about it in middle school, but in college, I learned another form that I think is more amenable to English. It’s called cinquain (sin-CANE), and the structure is 5 lines of 2, 4, 6, 8, and 2 syllables. Here’s one that I wrote in a codine haze after my recent tonsillectomy. (The doctor said no whistle playing for at least a week.)
Whistle
me a strathspey.
I’ll whistle you a jig.
Hurry, hurry. The traffic light
is red.
~ Thornton
Airbags.
Like to whistle.
Don’t go together, though.
One minute, you’re playing whistle,
Heaven.
Tony
I’d not
heard of this form
before Thorton Rose gave
something new to obsess over.
Oh, great.
New year
Old Lang Sine piped
softly on a whistle
to a room full of friends: Full hearts,
damp eyes
(written new year’s day, 2000)
Listen
an ancient sound
above the traffic din
a whistle carried on the wind
what joy!
I like
This poetry!
Pretty and expressive,
Like the simple whistle we love-
Soulful.
So, I
am not abso-
lutely sure that I to-
tally understand this form of
poet(ry)
Peace,
Erik
Thornton,
thanks for introducing me to this fantastic form of poetry and to all of you for shareing its possibilities…I could read this stuff all day. Peace, Mike 
Just when
I was catching
on to five seven five
throw a monkey wrench at my head
Oh, drat!
Kind of fun tho…Gm
Dixon,
my latest toy-
plays as sweet as can be.
For those that wonder, just what key?
High “Dee”.
Here are a couple of cinquains and a haiku from my geek side. They are written in Klingon (tlhIngan Hol).
(yi-IJ.
shoosh ligkh kohk tik.
yohtzh shohk TOOK-mah eh jah.
di-ROHN dohv-AGKH chohng oh-LAHV jeh.
kahp-LAH!)
Listen.
Ancient music rides the wind.
Pipes, whistle, and drum tell
That our clan gains the field.
Victory!
(yi-IJ.
shoosh ligkh my bohm –
di-ROHN, dohv-AGKH-may chohng,
oh-LAHV-mey jeh. pow TOOK-ah-mah.
kahp-LAH!)
Listen.
A battle song rides the wind –
Pipes, whistles, and drums.
Our great clan arrives.
Victory!
(KHUD-may doong joosh mahsh.
rahm SHOOSH-may tehb BOHM-may tik.
BAHN-shee-poo yi-KOY.)
The moon rises over the hills.
Ancient songs fill the night winds.
Listen to the banshees.
kh = German or Scottish ch.
gkh = German or Scottish ch, with vocal chords vibrating.
sh = s with tongue bent up to touch palate, like retroflex s in Mandarin Chinese.
oo = English oo, as in “food”.
[ This Message was edited by: ThorntonRose on 2001-11-27 13:19 ]
I gotta say, I think I like Erik’s the best.
Dale
Several years ago, I took my son to a small specialty shop of Japanese Anime toys, models, videos, etc. The guys who worked in there looked like young skateboarder types w/ quirky senses of humor. There was a video playing of an 80’s era Godzilla ripoff, where the scientists wore Flash Gordon style helmets and the special effects looked deliberately fake.
While the guy was ringing up our purchase of an Evangelion robotech-type model (sort of a mechanical praying mantis-looking thing), another customer walked in and asked if they had any stationery with “nonsensical English” on it. Unfortunately, they were sold out. I asked the cashier what was the deal with “nonsensical English.” He said, “You know, like, when someone translates Japanese into English, but they only think they know how to speak English, and it comes out kind of strange.” He then took me to a t-shirt rack and showed me a shirt with a hero’s long pseudo-philosophical speech, obviously translated from the Japanese. (Yes, there is a market for this weirdness.) The sentiment, the off-balanced expression and grammar, now that was poetry. You can get good examples of this by reading the subtitles of the song at the end of an anime video. (Does anyone know what the heck I’m talking about?!)
Tony
Tony,
No one knows what
you are talking about.
I mean; “anime subtitles”?`
C’mon…
Jens