…fight your way through an unruly mob?
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
My Kerry Low D is fairly solid and light so it would act nicely as a blugeon, quick and strong. Plus, it can be replaced rather readily.
Hrm, my copper serpent would make a decent whupass stick. Be better if I got a Low D though. 
I would say a Generation high G playing the high reel. If that didn’t part the way quick enough just alternate playing and using the George Carlin trick of saying loudly “I’m gonna be sick”. The Carlin method works wonderfully. 
A Howard low D. Or if you need more reach, an Overton. There’s more than one way to play a low D.
A Shaw low D is fairly stable and great for a long reach jab, while the high E makes a nice short dagger.
Keepin’ mob away
A plastic cheap recorder
Reachin’ third octave.
Little black. I’d tell the mob that it was Andrea Corr’s-And that she was coming along anytime now to collect it, thus giving me time to make a hasty exit!
An Overton Bass A, lovingly referred to by our Praise Band at church as, “The GM Instrument,” since it looks like something from the underside of a truck. Great weight, long reach, and the act of using it as a club might warm it up enough to play it… 
2 words… VILLAGE SMITHY 
Copeland Low D
The VS is good for small mobs of 50 or fewer, but if it’s a big ‘un, better get a Tunable Steel Serpent Low D - 14.5 ounces of steel an’ brass, 22-3/4" long. Take some purty healthy body armor to stop that one!
serpent
The obvious choice would be my Overton Low D, but I ain’t ABOUT to risk that!
I’d just quickly tape the holes on my Susato Dublin Low D and fill it with sand or an otherwise useless fluid - Budweiser, perhaps.
Okay, but don’ even DREAM about usin’ Guiness fer that!
serpent
Overton Low D… HAAHA, baby toy lightweight thingy
I´ll swing wild with my Sterling Low D, that must hurt.
/Peter
I dunno, Serp. Maybe a an Overton full O’ Bushmills might do the trick… Erm… NAH! VILLAGE SMITHY! There can be only one!
Definitely my Chieftain Gold low-D.
I could crack a dozen heads with it, without the slightest risk to the whistle. It weighs easily twice what the Chieftain Bass Bb weighs. The trick is to hit 'em with the fipple-end, the fipple plug is solid brass, which weights that end significantly, as well as practically eliminating the chance of distorting that end of the tube.
Hmm, the “shilelagh reel” for whistle.
In my left hand and mouth, my Generation high G ‘Worsened’—you know, the one you tried to tweak and, well, things didn’t quite work out, did they. In my right hand, my Overton low D for any fool still left in the room after the Generation has done it’s worst.
Hey, have you noticed. We seem almost to be reaching consensus here. 
The Whistle I’d choose to fight my way through an unruly mob would be some sort of Low whistle (preferably D or lower), made of a stout material. Something with a good heft and balance to it.
My serpent, definatly, if my soprano can give as good a thwack as it does, I can ONLY IMAGINE what the Low D’s are capable of!!!