I noticed a weird thing today…all of “Liberace’s” posts have been edited and the messages deleted. I’m curious as to why…
And I was also wondering where DazedinLA is these days? He usually posts pretty frequently.
I think Liberace left the board because nobody said that he was a Cutie-pie.
Ya know, if someone here could answer me that question, “What’s the deal with Liberace?”, you would singlehandedly solve one of the greatest mysteries of our time.
Best,
Chris
TO ALL CONCERNED
My client is enjoying a nice, long, tropical vacation at a secure, undislosed location.
Rumors that he has been driven stark raving mad by obsessive, futile efforts to master the fiddle (or even a proper hold and bowstroke, for that matter) are spurious, false, injurious, tortious, and, worst of all…Unreasonable, and will be prosecuted with extreme prejudice.
You may rest assured that all is well and that under my client’s skilled leadership, the R&D Division of Dazed Industries continues to bring you all the amazing products so essential to a life of happiness and fulfilment.
He sends particular regards to Loren, who apparently has regained his rightful place as No. 001, to Jessie, who is in fact the Undisputedly Radiant Queen of the Chiffboard, to the Ever Reasonable Walden (my client says he “way out-lurks you now, dude”), to Enders and, last but not least, to Cees, who finally unseated my client in the Post Rankings and has become the New No. 33.
So, to be perfectly clear, the tortured, ferile wailing you hear in the dead of night is not the result of my client’s efforts to achieve accurate intonation by sawing the hair of a horse on the guts of a cat. It’s probably just your imagination. Yeah, that’s it, your imagination…
Melvin Belly, Esq.
Mr Belly,it is rumoured you have also at times represented the right honourable Porridge.Do you confirm or deny this, or is it simply speculation.
On 2002-11-03 14:13, mike.r wrote:
Mr Belly,it is rumoured you have also at times represented the right honourable Porridge.Do you confirm or deny this, or is it simply speculation.
Mike:
I’m not at liberty to comment regarding whether Mr. Porridge is either right or honorable. As to his former status as a client, well, there is the rather unsavory matter of an unpaid bill for my services, which were very much in demand at one point, so no, at present there is no attorney-client relationship between the aforesaid party of the first part and myself.
Melvin Belly, Esq.
On 2002-11-01 11:24, Cees wrote:
I noticed a weird thing today…all of “Liberace’s” posts have been edited and the messages deleted. I’m curious as to why…
Not quite all. You’re just looking on the wrong thread.
On 2002-11-03 13:04, Melvin Belly wrote:
…and, last but not least, to Cees, who finally unseated my client in the Post Rankings and has become the New No. 33.
I am?? I didn’t know I was up that high!
Well, it’s good to know that Kev is still alive and kickin’! 
So, Mr. Belly…you seem to know an awful lot about your client. Do you just have a really close relationship, or are you, in fact, him, in another alias??? 
MCM Transatlantic Whistle Detective Agency - no case too small.
Branches in London and Salt Lake City
[ This Message was edited by: Cees on 2002-11-03 22:58 ]
So, Mr. Belly…you seem to know an awful lot about your client. Do you just have a really close relationship, or are you, in fact, him, in another alias??? >
MCM Transatlantic Whistle Detective Agency - no case too small.
Branches in London and Salt Lake City
Please…allow me…to introduce myself…
Why, no, Cees, I’m just the Messenger (others still use that unfortunate term “mouthpiece”). No, this Version of my client would never ever ever ever use an alias. Why, if he did, he might be accused of all sorts of untrue things, like really being Tubedude, for example.
On 2002-11-03 15:14, Melvin Belly wrote:
On 2002-11-03 14:13, mike.r wrote:
Mr Belly,it is rumoured you have also at times represented the right honourable Porridge.Do you confirm or deny this, or is it simply speculation.Mike:
I’m not at liberty to comment regarding whether Mr. Porridge is either right or honorable. As to his former status as a client, well, there is the rather unsavory matter of an unpaid bill for my services, which were very much in demand at one point, so no, at present there is no attorney-client relationship between the aforesaid party of the first part and myself.
Melvin Belly, Esq.
You have a short memory, Mr Mike. For (as I have intimated on numerous occasions) I am represented solely by Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne - from whom the tiresome Mr Belly (BTW no gentleman would ever sign himself “Esq.” - that is an honorific for others to bestow or not) will be hearing shortly if he continues to cast aspersions upon my honour.
There is absolutely no connection between myself and Liberace. While I congratulate the latter on his satirical contributions (which I have not seen due to a spell in solitary confinement), I would like to point out that Porridge does not borrow ideas from himself. Nor does he retrospectively disembowel his contributions to the board - instead leaving them to stand so that future historians will realize how much he has been maligned.
Your humble servant,
Archer
I am represented solely by Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne - from whom the tiresome Mr Belly (BTW no gentleman would ever sign himself “Esq.” - that is an honorific for others to bestow or not) will be hearing shortly if he continues to cast aspersions upon my honour.
…
Your humble servant,
Archer
My Dear Mr. Archer/Porridge:
I never said I was a gentleman. I am an attorney, good sir, and to assert that I am also a gentleman would be bad for business. As for being tiresome, well, in that regard will humbly defer to the likes of you and Serpent and others of whom vitality of character is manifest.
If you’d like me to chat with Mr. Grabbit, well, Dick and I tee off tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m., and I’ll make sure we talk it over. Until then, I am
Most Respectfully Yours,
Melvin Belly, Esq.
Cal. State Bar No. 666