what I've learned in life

Poststructural Pub
1

As I’ve Matured…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in…

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.


I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, and keep coming back.I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

2

I’ve learned that a Blackhawk is a single action magnum handgun manufactured by RugerArms and that Michael Moore has found a North American distributor for Farenheit 911.

I also learned that I don’t like women, but I’m not gay.

The rest, I’m not too sure about.

3

As I grew up I learned a lot of stuff. As I got older I forgot it all.

4

why not?

5

I have learned that a little piece of paper and a funny hat with a tassle does not make a person smart, just educated.

6

how very true that is, steven. :slight_smile:

7

Those were good blackhawk. Here’s a few more you might enjoy…from [u]Paragon City[/u]

As I’ve Matured…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do. But to the best you can do.

I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.

I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how old you are or how much you THINK you know.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child that their dreams are unlikely. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would if they believed you.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling in love and many ways of crawling back out.

I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

8

Those are great, Lorenzo, thanks!

9

Some bits of paper and funny hats with tassles don’t even make you educated.

10

Benefit of doubt, maybe? But I know what you mean! :sniffle:

11

I’ve learned it is far easier to corrupt than it is to correct.

I’ve learned that if you can’t say anything nice, make it really deep and cutting.

I’ve learned that I can’t be trusted with other people’s whiskey.

12
13

Good additions, Lee. :slight_smile:

14

I have learned that I am a slow learner and learning slower and slower.

I have learned there are so many tunes and I have so few brain cells left.

I have learned that some people with “old timer’s disease” (I can’t spell the real thing) get to make new friends every day (my first cousin, still living). Others become suspicious, mean and nasty (my brother-in-law, may he RIP).

I have learned that a junkie I thought would die before age 35 can completely turn his life around (but he is still hooked on tobacco).

I have learned that it really is possible to break the tobacco habit, but it took 40 years of trying to quit before I finally succeeded and now I can quit quitting..

I have learned that tobacco snuff is good for easing the pain of bee stings, but I never could understand how anyone could dip the nasty stuff.

I have learned that the biggest change in life (except possibly death, but I haven’t experienced it yet) is having kids. That is one tremendous change and I was glad to have the opportunity to have two boys to raise.

I have learned it is hard to kick them out of the nest when they are ready to fly.

I have learned that this too, shall pass.

I have learned to enjoy what you can when you can each and every day and not hurry.

The worst thing about maturing is that I have learned that I am actually mortal and that I am now looking at the shorter end of that stick.

I wonder what is on the other side.

15

I have learned that I’ll probably never learn not to be scared sh*tless of dying.

I’ve also learned that life is so cool that it’s worth the fear.

16

For what started out as a joke thread, this has turned into a really cool one. Now I have to stop posting so I don’t go over 2,000 and prove to the world how useless I am. :smiley:

17

Over the last 19 and 5/6 years, I have learned that 90% of the people on this planet are dismally stupid, including, for the most part, myself.

More importantly, just because somebody is highly educated doesn’t mean they are intelligent. There are plenty of university professors who are complete idiots.

Most people are also lacking greatly in creativity and exhibit no ability to think for themselves. Those who aren’t lacking, however, get to have a lot of fun messing with the heads of those who are.

I have also learned that most people do not really care what anyone else thinks, unless you agree with them, in which case, they’re very interested in what you have to say.

I’ve also learned that there are a vast many groups out there that are very interested in feeding you bullcrap and molding your manner of thinking, and rarely for your benefit. Question everything.

People like to hear themselves talk. Why else would I be writing this crap right now?

There are more important things in life than your own personal happiness. If you stop worrying so much about making yourself happy, you’ll be far less miserable most of the time.

You are not the center of the universe, no matter what the ads on the tv tell you.

Modern art is not art. No, the Emperor is not wearing any clothing.

Chocolate is always a good thing.

I don’t know anything, so whatever you do, don’t take my advice. In fact, you’ll probably be much better off disregarding everything in this post, because it’s probably all a load of steaming crap. Except the part about chocolate. Unless you’re allergic to it.

18

Not that inspirational, but I feel it’s true, and I’ve learned everything first hand:

I’ve learened that sometimes, no matter how hard you try for something and no matter how much effort and time you put into it, if you don’t have enough money, you just don’t have enough money.

I’ve also learned that I care about too many people who honestly don’t care about me at all.

I’ve learend that sometimes you have to settle for second best or nothing at all.

I’ve learned that drugs tear families apart and kill people.

I’ve learned that God loves me for being gay.

19

you’re a good fella, cran. :slight_smile:

20

Your computer will protect your surge protector by blowing first and breaking the circuit.

Stop the ambulance before you try to empty the vomit basin out the door.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot fold a cracker.

There are thousands of really stupid ways to die, and if you die before age 30, you probably tried one of them.

Do not shake soda machines.

Most people who profess to be moral are really just too scared to act; they’re afraid someone is looking.

When you get too old to do drugs, a decent 15-second buzz can be had with Lucky Whip.

Once you turn 30, you will become invisible to teenage girls, but when you turn 50, they will be able to see you again and will open doors for you and call you “Sir.” Try not to get too depressed about it.

If you come upon an automobile accident after midnight and do not find a drunk, someone is missing.

If the teacher takes the time to write it on the board, assume that it will be on the test.

Violence is not always the answer, but it does keep some problems from cropping up over and over and over again.

Never trust a man who is wearing loafers with tassels.

And never trust a woman who accessorizes.

There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a good strong arm and a 14 gauge needle.