I am quite capable of boring just about anyone simply by opening my mout…er…I guess that’s not really a superpower, is it
Redwolf
I can stare at a computer screen for 8 hours straight
yeah!
My girlfriend, also a whistler/fluter, has magic red-tape melting laserbeams come out of here eyes. It is true and totally astonishing. If she wanted to, she could get a visa to China, walk into a zoo tomorrow, walk out with a Panda bear bound for the slave markets of SE asia, and nobody would blink. The customs officials would brew tea for her as she robs them of cultural heritage. I’ve seen her do even more amazing things back during the Cold War.
Me, I can change the pitch of my flute just by ingesting bubbly liquids.
–I speak Dog.
–I can, instantly and at will, become hyperactive enough to match a room full of first graders.
–I have the ability to make my wife roll her eyes in exasperation.
Someday, I will rule the world. It is my destiny.
Mine is a super-power because it’s not a cultivated skill or a sleep disorder. It’s an innate ability to enjoy a deep, undisturbed sleep. It’s also the reason the cat wakes up my wife, rather than me, when it gets hungry at 4 AM; I sleep right through its feeble attempts. (Luckily, our cat hasn’t learned how to grip a baseball bat.)
0 to Geek in .07 seconds… 
Chirpy gerbil-faced optimism…
Knowing when people are thinking or talking about me due to some big issue (positive or negative, like family arguments and such), or are about to phone me. I hear a high-pitched hissing kind of sound (before the phone rings)..
Would you people please stop it now!?!?!?!?!? Yer drivin’ me crazy!
I can surf chiff & fipple sitting in our open office landscape without getting noticed.
Beat that! 
/M
I can make a family dinner with whatever is in the cupboards.
Well, sure, but does anyone eat it?
T
I sleep with a wild animal curled up around my ankle. Even more amazing, that wild animal is a bird.
I can effortlessly embarrass and annoy my teenagers, without even being in the same room OR playing a whistle!
Hell yes, that’s why it’s called a “super power” and not a “weinie butt power.”
WHAT kind of power??
Hah! I can make my phone ring just by misplacing the handset. So there. 
I used to be able to magically summon buses by the ritual incineration of tobacco
I’m having a little trouble visualizing this.
Perfect pitch for the song of a sentence.
I have the ability to see through walls, as well as supersonic hearing. Just ask my children
I have the power of invisibility and often accidentally scare the behoosis out of people when I reappear.