We're obscene

Here’s an exchange from the woodnflute mailing list which tickled my fancy. I won’t break the poster’s anonymity, but that’s Terry McGee providing the answer.

I’ve got a Hawkes with a tight cork. Are there any tips to ease its removal? I

am using a five pence piece on the front face as this is the same size as the
head bore (spreading the pressure evenly).


I don’t know of any easy solution here (but will be glad to hear of
one!). I just get tough with them, in the knowledge that I’ll need to
replace the cork as parts of it will remain stuck to the inside of the
liner. Hawkes stoppers often (usually? always?) have the wood coming
right through to the front of the stopper, so it is important not to damage
the face. I use a piece of rod of appropriate diameter, although a thinner
rod and a coin would probably be fine. I usually find I need to hammer on
the end of the rod, so it has to be fairly thick. Sometimes you can just
hold the head, relying on the shock of the thump, but in a tough case, you
need to have the head on the bench, with a hole into which the stopper can
drop. It’s obviously important not to ram the screw thread end into
anything hard.


What type of lubrication would help?


I don’t think lubrication will help as the cork will have glued itself to
the liner with breath condensate. You could try pouring some alcohol or
acetone down the liner (not enough to run out of the embouchure!) and
standing the head on the stopper end for a while. Covering the openings
will reduce evaporation and give the spirit more time to weaken the
condensate bond.

I’m afraid that my requirements for racy reading are a bit at odds with the above. Seems pretty tame to me, but then, I have been called a reprobate. Maybe my tolerance has become such that I need stronger stuff these days.

You’re a cheap date, s1m0n. :wink:

I remember the “head on the bench” bit, but the “shock of the thump” was usually not enough to rouse me, at that point, as it were, etc…

Perhaps you poured too much alcohol down your liner. Did you notice it running out your embouchure?

Holy Crapp!

I’m covering my openings… :astonished:
No I didn’t really say that!

M

Okay, so if I have a thing for low Eb, C# and Cnat keys, do I have a foot fetish?

If I prefer post mounted keys, does that mean I like bondage?

I’m sure nano could answer that. For spankings, see Whistlin’Dixie.

…Bend over…

:laughing: Careful! She uses her purse!



Could be. I think one’s tenons tell the tale: cork lapping, or…THREAD BINDING.

Hey, Dix? I’ve been a naughty boy. Hint hint.

:laughing:

Good work, all … we’ve finally gotten this thread to live up to its title. :laughing:

OK, I’m going home to mow the grass and … later? When it gets dark …? wax my bindings.

Oh baby, wrap my tenons!

Not a WORD about sockets. None of you.

Oooops. I did it again.

I need a cigarette.