Weird Gigs

Whistle
1

Charles, the heart of The Bates Street Folk n’ Blues Band
is always finding us weird gigs. When I got to the
Farmer’s Market last Saturday morning he was
excited.

‘Common, we got a gig inside the market in five minutes.
The fella came over and hired us half an hour ago.’

‘Inside the market? What are we doing?’

‘We’re backing up a marriage proposal.’

‘How are we supposed to do that?’

‘He’s bringing her to a vegetable stall. We hide behind it
and when he pops the question, we jump up and
sing ‘Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer true.’’

‘That’s crazy. She’s bound to say No.’

‘He’s giving us ten bucks each, Jim.’

‘Well, maybe she won’t say No. But you know
Daisy says No in the second stanza.
‘I’d be crazy to
marry a boy like you!’’

‘We won’t sing it.
Repeat the first stanza.’

So we set off through the market but we couldn’t
find the right vegetable stand.

‘There are a million stands here, Charles,
how are we supposed to find the right one?’

‘Asparagus,’ Charles muttered.

‘Ya know you get us weird gigs. Remember the
rooster funeral?’

‘The rooster was dearly loved.’

‘Yes, but he wasn’t dead!’

"Here it is.’

Charles and I climbed through the stand and
crouched down behind the asparagus.
A minute later a young couple
approached.

‘Charles,’ I whispered. ‘Please, let’s jump up and
play ‘Daisy, Daisy’ after she says yes, not before.
I’m going to have to live with this for the
rest of my life.’

The young man got down on his knees
on the concrete in front of the vegetable stand.
I couldn’t hear his words, but I could see that
he meant them–he really loved her. He spoke
for a long time. She said something, finally, and
he leapt to his feet, his face glowing with delight.

‘Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
I’m half crazy, all for the love of you…’

(Guitar and G whistle (Copeland), key of C.)

The young woman looked up bewildered.
Then she smiled. Apparently she loved the young
man enough to be be glad anyway, even though
she now knew she would marry a lunatic.

‘Well, if she made it through the proposal,
the rest of the marriage will be a snap,’
I said as we walked back to our usual station.
‘You sure find us weird gigs, though.’

‘That reminds me,’ Charles said.
‘Next Thursday at 3, we’re doing an appendectomy.’

Anyone ever done a weird gig?

2

I thought so once but not now! Great gig.

3

FBI office in Omaha during their lunch break. Searched all our cases before we could play. Probably didn’t help that we use gun cases to carry the rather delicate panpipes.

Czech days celebration in Wilbur NE. (that was with the Andean folk music band)

The same band also played right next to a oom pa-pa polka band during a Germanfest community celebration.

Oddly enough we had a similar wedding proposal gig but it was at a mexican resturaunt. We (six guys, one gal) were “innocently” sitting at a table next to the couple and when she said yes we all stood up and played a song to celebrate. We later played at their wedding and reception.

If I remember right the last ime this question came up someone had played at a clothing optional ren faire!

Mark V.

4

Great gigs. My impression is that weird gigs
happen chiefly in the midwest.

5

Played a gig with my brass quintet once at Christmas, where the hostess led us upstairs into a tiny little room, left the door propped halfway open, and asked us to play “Christmas-y stuff” for two hours. See, she wanted live music, but thought that if her guests could actually see the performers, they’d be more interested in watching and listening than in conversing and networking. So we were to be live background music.

People kept coming upstairs and poking their heads in the room to listen for a while; they’d nod, smile, and then withdraw back to the party downstairs.

We shrugged, and looked on it as a paid rehearsal.

6

That was choice, Jim!

As for myself, all gigs are weird in some way…but that’s my problem.

7

Yes, they’re all weird, I agree.

8

I generally dislike playing “background” music at events. It’s always a bit strange to stand up with 6 other people and a small fortune in sound gear and play with the sound system at it’s lowest setting. I always end up people watching and get distracted from my playing.

“Sounds great…could you turn it down a bit? thanks” :roll:

Almost as annoying as working a booth at a biotech trade show and hearing “Got any t-shirts?” for eight hours.

MArk V.

9

I played a gig once that was so weird that I am not comfortable telling about it. Very odd.

10

Say, Bloo, wasn’t that the one with all the manacles, the St Andrew’s cross, and the clamps? Oops. Sorry.

11

Was that the one with the Doberman and the rhubarb pie?

12

My lips are sealed.

13

There you go with those clamps again.

14

Nano’s mention of Pride weekend in another thread reminds me of a weird semi-gig. . .

My wife is – among many other wonderful things, don’t know why she ever said “yes” when I proposed – a member of a professional belly-dancing troupe. As a dutiful husband, I occasionally tag along on their gigs to haul equipment, or stand guard at the rowdier venues (I guess the sight of fifteen scantily clad, svelte young women is just too much for some guys after a drink or two). Tough job, having to stand around and watch a group of mostly naked women writhe around onstage, but someone’s gotta do the hard stuff.

Anyway, the troupe performed at the San Francisco Pride event a couple years ago, and I stood near the foot of the stage, watching them and the very colorful, very large crowd. Partway through their performance, I felt a distinct pinch – light, but distinct – on my, erm, backside. So I turned around, and there stood a fellow, naked except for a leather thong-type deal, smiling at me. I’d never really been in that position before, but I knew it was the kind of event at which such behavior wouldn’t really be considered extremely rude, so I just said, “Um, hi. I’m Aaron. . .” He replied “Aaron baby, I’m Ken” (or Rob or Kyle or something). And he just kept smiling at me, and I was still a little flummoxed, so after a few moments I stammered, “So, um, I’m here, uh, watching my wife. Up there. She’s dancing up there now.” And Ken-or-Rob-or-Kyle said, “Oh, well that’s too bad, we’d be beautiful, baby,” and winked at me and walked off into the crowd. So that was sort of a weird gig.

But hey, at least I know there’s at least one other person out there who considers me attractive. I’ll take what I can get.

15

Aside from the leather thong deal, was he with a Doberman, eating a rhubarb pie while carrying a St Andrews cross and always, always, those clamps?

16

Blackhawk: no dogs or clamps, just very pale foggy-SF skin and one triangular bit of leather, strategically placed.

However, there were a great many clamps in evidence at every Pride event I’ve seen in SF. In fact, all you have to do is go to any of a number of bars in the City at any time of year to view the latest in clamps, rings, spikes, you name it.

I always get a chuckle at the out-of-towners in the city during Pride weekend who aren’t aware it’s Gay Pride time. You can easily spot them, since it’s usually a man, woman, and two young kids gaping wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the crowd. One of the parents is usually trying, in vain, to get a hand over the kids’ eyes while parade floats in the shape of giant genitalia glide past. I’m never sure whether to feel bad for them (the confused tourists, not the large genitalia) or not.

17

At the Tonga room in San Francisco I once played a gig where they put us on a mini-barge thingy and pulled us out into the middle of the indoor pool to play a 45 minute set. With 10 Tahitian drummers drumming at the same time, it was a very moving experience. Good thing I don’t get seasick… :laughing:

18

I don’t know about weird, but once a piper (uilleann) and I were providing background music for a welcome-home-from-the-trip-to-Dublin/happy birthday party (there was a battered tuba designated to play the obligatory “Happy Birthday” tune). At one point while we were deciding what to play next, a querulous voice far from the back called out, “Why don’t you boys just give it a rest?” (we weren’t that bad…), whereupon the piper, famous locally for his fractiousness, shot back, “Why don’t you just go and take a shite for yourself?” —I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

His daughter later came to us and apologized for him, saying that it wasn’t so much that he was a grumpy old man; rather, he was born grumpy. It seems everybody else was OK with our efforts. :laughing:

19

My wedding duo partner and I did 3 gigs in a row where the groom started crying in the middle of the “I do’s” (at one of them, the ceremony was put on hold for 10 minutes in order for the groom to regain his composure). We were beginning to think it had something to do with the quality of the music being performed… :laughing:

20

We once played at a combination Auto/Art show. Some really cool vintage cars & hot rods mixed in with paintings by local artists. It was held at a new car dealership, and our group was to provide background music. The stage looked like someone had built a plywood platform about a foot high, with just enough room for the four of us. It wasn’t until we started setting up that we found out the plywood covered one of the lifts. We got set up, they told us to hang on, and they raised the whole platform about four feet off the ground!