Why is it that at some sessions you always get the wise guys who usually can’t play making snide comments about pipes and pipers (usually box players) I do enjoy playing some tunes at a healthy pace… so what/ it’s meant to be fun isn’t it?
I am sick of sessions where they plod along the same stayed boring pace.
Is it me or have others experinced pipe-o-phobia? 
I think you maybe a bit to sensitive ben, just tell them to feck off. 
Ben. That panda looks wonderful on a rant post 
Mukade
ben, there’s a time for everything I think. But, I share your frustration at times…at least I use to until I got myself away from those kind of sessions. They are a nice social event though. At festivals, I always admired the leaders who would keep the pace slow so that everyone would feel welcome to play along. But later, after the sun went down, you’d find these same experts going at an unbelievable pace. It had a way of quickly weeding out the newbies. Then it was they who complained!
You gotta get yourself outa that place man! 
Yeah, It’s hard to be taken seriously when your a panda
Rant over, new day, hung over
Ben,I used to get this at times and my response was to ask the geek if he could play the pipes,if the answer was no then I would tell him to shut his fucking mouth,if yes I would offer him the pipes to play.Needless to say nobody ever got to play my pipes.
Could it be that ye are rattling on at a speed that is not really conducive to sessions?and thereby upsetting more than just the boxies?Ye see the point of the session(if there is one!)is to allow a group of players to play together.Emphasise the word group…therefore there will be a mixed ability within same,so it stands to reason that it would make soundness of sense to find a pace that suits all.I have been to sessions in London/ Edinburgh /Glasgow where it is pretty obvious that the prima donnas are there to a)practice(usually with at least another member from their band)for their next gig or tunes they have well rehersed from previous gigs or b) to just friggin show off …either way the result is disaster.The not so experienced players will feel cowed and not play,the experienced players will feel threatened and join in so that ye end up with a kinda competition that impresses no one,cos each player thinks he/she is better than anyone else!!!
The wise player,should this happen, rather than get sucked into the maelstrom will ,quitely pack his/her instrument,smile triumphantly and leave the eejits to it.There will be other sessions ,other times,other tunes.
PS as a guide avoid the following …
London.(most sessions )
Edinburgh Sandy Bells (Wed Fri and Sat) miserable session hosted by a plonk called Karen who is multo prima donna.
Edinburgh The Antiquary(thur) could be guid session but two pratts hog the scene one plays border pipes the other guitar.(band members)
Glasgow Babbity Bowsters(sat)full of plonks(customers and players)
Glasgow Ben Nevis (wed)students who when fuelled with 1/2 pint o alco-pops want to play at the speed o light.
It should also be borne in mind that sessions can seriously impede or even ruin your pipering progress.Ye won’t have time or be able to refine your pipering techniques.Sloppy renderings of tunes,no ornamentation worth speaking of ,complete fuck ups usually in tempo for tunes(jigs often played in reel tempo) och the list is endless.If ye are aspiring to play at sessions then ye are not aspiring to be a piper.
Sorry Ben I kinda wandered off there.I am not for one second suggesting that ye are in the above class,but maybe the session (s) are not all they are cracked up to be(after all they did start in London!)and they should on no account be treated as the definitive article in Irish Music.
Uilliam 
After hearing this…
http://www.tinwhistletunes.com/clipssnip/Audio/6-04/CongressReelBenWalker.mp3
I conclude it is pure jealousy. 
Mukade
Glasgow Babbity Bowsters(sat)full of plonks(customers and players)
Oh yeah…went there once. It was actually a pretty nice session (this was over five years ago, mind you) until a certain bodhran player of some repute (who shares his name with a famous American baseball player) decided to head over to the bar for another pint and deduced that the best course from his seat to the bar was to plow right through the bass drone of my smallpipes. That put kind of a damper on things. I was very lucky in that I was heading up to see Hamish Moore a few days later anyway and he fixed them right up.
How about starting up a session at The Polo Lounge over on Mitchell Street? Might be an interesting change of pace from the gay disco nights they usually have there.
Back when I was in Scotland, The Tron in Edinburgh still used to have sessions and some of those were pretty good. I don’t think they’ve had sessions there in a while though, from what I’ve heard. Does Cathal McConnell still play around town? I imagine any session with him in it couldn’t be too bad…
The situation here in Portland fits Uilliam’s description fairly well. We’ve got a number of very good fiddlers here (some of whom are/were students of Kevin Burke, all of whom tend to imitate him a bit) and sometimes they can just play waaay to fast. This fiddler started in on “The Gold Ring” the other week and he was playing so damn fast that I really had to cut a lot of things out of it to keep up. No fun at all. When you’re playing with speed freaks, subtlety goes straight out the window (unless you’re Robbie Hannan). There are also some rank beginners there and it can be really hard to balance things out so that everyone gets a chance to play and no egos get overly inflated or squashed. I’ve also been in the same boat as Ben sometimes because a.) Sometimes I also play way too fast, B.) My repertoire varies a bit from the generally disseminated Portland fare, and C.) Since I went for such a long stint not playing in sessions, some of the well-known tunes that I do play have mutated somewhat. Still, it can be pretty decent at times. Gets good towards the end of the night, usually.
And come now, Ulliam. Surely there must be at least one decent pub for sessions in London. All I ever seem to hear about are the bad ones…
Slan go foill
-CD
Oh yeah…went there once. It was actually a pretty nice session (this was over five years ago, mind you)
Back when I was in Scotland, The Tron in Edinburgh still used to have sessions and some of those were pretty good. I don’t think they’ve had sessions there in a while though, from what I’ve heard. Does Cathal McConnell still play around town?
And come now, Ulliam. Surely there must be at least one decent pub for sessions in London. All I ever seem to hear about are the bad ones…-CD/quote]
CD…
Babbitys…depends on what ye consider nice?
Tron dosnae do sessions anymore.
Havnae scooby about Cathal Mc Connell.
Last sentence speaks volumes for itself…
Nope,I stick with," sessions are bad for your pipering."didnae do your drones any good by the sound of it either!
Slan Go Foill
Uilliam
What gets on my tits is that this was the first session I had been to for well over a year. This was because the session at the Jolly Anglers (Manchester) was full of attitude about playing reel upon reel upon bloody reel, most in non pipe friendly keys. Some nice people at that session but some real ass holes too!
I stopped going to those sessions cos of the crap miserable attitude of a few.
I have to say that I got little pleasure from playing at this session and by the looks of the others neither did they… why the hell do they bother???
I was pissed off that after all this time nothing had changed…
I don’t think I will bother going to those sessions again; neither the Beech nor the JA.
Every session I have attended (usually with fiddle in hand) has had its share of prima donnas. Only a handful have been worth returning to. It is tough to enjoy good company and good tunes when the group is filled with “superstarz” who consider themselves THE end all of ITM. Very annoying.
I have since stopped going to sessions. Like Uilliam has stated, these things aren’t ideal for developing good skill and technique on the pipes… or any other instrument in my opinion. They have been or become stages for show offs and power trippers. Although, they have proved useful in my execising self restraint… many has been the time when I came very close to bashing heads. Good thing I’m a peaceful sort… most of the time. 
Perhaps all of us who boycott sessions should get together for a NON-SESSION. just sit around with instruments and NOT play… drink vast ammounts of porter and tell rubbish jokes.
Pandas have tits? 
djm
of course we do… fecking huge ones at that
For me, a solution I have for found avoiding the bad sessions, is to have a house party/session. Only those who are invited show up, bringing libation to share with everyone else. It is a good way to actually enjoy what you are playing… and the booze is cheaper in the long run. If somebody gets out-of-hand, and goes on a “I’m better than you all” kick, you can confiscate their booze, ruff 'em up a bit, and shove them out of the door.
A simpler expedient I have seen used is to just stop playing when wunderkind lets loose. Sometimes they catch on that they’re the only ones playing, and not winning any fans. If not, and they continue blast away, get up and find the john, or go order another brew, or step outside for a smoke, or what really cheeses them off, strike up a conversation with other session members. Then wunderkind finds that not only is he/she the only one playing, but that they are now the only one sitting in a sea of empty chairs, they eventually catch on. I have sometimes seen them get up and leave in a huff at this point, but so what?
djm
DJM The above is a blow by blow description of what goes on in Sandy Bells in Edinburgh when la prima donna Karen is running the show.Only trouble is its her and her cronies(probably band members) who get up and go outside for a spliff whenever a visitor to the session dares to lead a set! They then come back in and start all over again…seems there is no point in joining a crowd like this.I run a little session in Glasgow in the Uisge Beatha(thur) it is purely Groupa Cheoil,and there are about 12 of us.Everyone is made welcome.If anyone turns out to be a prima donna I usually tell them to fuck off to one of the many other sessions in the City(or better still go to Sandy Bells in Edinburgh) where they can preen themselves to their egos content,word seems to have gotten around and we are spared their performances. Sessions Suck. 
Slan Go Foill
Uilliam
Ben, there’s one or two good sessions in and around Huddersfield way, my mate has played his small pipes and Uilleann’s there never had a bit of trouble, some really nice people with one or two characters that make the evening really enjoyable, some of these guys are shit hot players too, and they are most helpful. 
all the best Stewart.
Thanks Stew, I may well brave the pennines at some point, My good friend Mat Walklate goes to a session in Huddersfield . I may well cadge a lift with him when he next goes. 
my gripe with sessions is where you don’t hear what might be regarded as the “standard” tunes being played ie the sorts of tunes that you can pretty much assume anyone who has been playing for any length of time will know