Got some “magic” crackers at the local import store. Deluxe with magic tricks, the paper crown, and the riddles.
My favorite riddle:
“What’s dangerous and yellow?”
(answer: shark-infested custard)
Here’s the one we don’t get at all. Can anyone unravel the Brit humor here?
“Why don’t elephants like penguins?”
(answer: They’re too hard to unwrap.)
Are we missing something, or do you just have to be in the right mood? Preferably the kind of mood fueled by too much spiked eggnog.
I will wait for our pals from “over there” to supply the correct answer. But, in the meantime, it almost sounds like presents are wrapped in black and white paper. Just a very wild guess. 
Will O’Ban
All is revealed!
Slan,
D.
That’s a relief. I had this horrific vision of pachyderms trying to flay the cute li’l critters, and for what?
Excuse me–both of you-- for butting in again, but . . . ahhh. Makes sense.
Will O’Ban
Thanks D! I thought maybe something was lost in translation.
Penguins used to be wrapped in much easier to open packaging. The packaging changed due to the modern fetish for sterilization against “germs”. Penguin wrappers are now heat-sealed. When I was a kid, the wrappers were just foil backed with grease-proof paper and a child of five could get into one. I must have eaten hundreds as a child and the germs never did me any harm. Now I don’t buy them anymore due to the wrappers (nor does my pet elephant).
Aside - the wrappers for Kit Kats have also changed over the years. The familiar silver foil and paper tube have been replaced with heat sealed plastic. Half the pleasure of eating a Kit Kat came from scoring down the foil groove with your thumbnail before breaking the chocolate bar and this is no longer possible. This may explain why UK sales of Kit Kats are dropping.
Return to topic - this joke would not have worked 20 years ago.
So what are the penguins like? Chocolate or what?
Don’t listen to them, Em, they are trying to
divert you from the truth.
As to what ‘unwrapping’ such penguins consists in,
it would be best if we discussed that
offboard.
Researchers find gay penguins in Japanese aquariums: report
Sat Dec 25, 1:31 AM ET
[Add to My Yahoo!] Top Stories - AFP
TOKYO (AFP) - Researchers have found a number of same-sex pairs of penguins at aquariums in Japan, with an imbalance between the numbers of male and female birds suspected to be the cause, a report said.
A research group led by Keisuke Ueda, professor of behavioral ecology at Rikkyo University in Tokyo, found about 20 same-sex pairs at 16 major aquariums and zoos, Kyodo news agency said.
Penguins in captivity “may be more likely to form same-sex pairs” due to the difficulty of finding partners of the opposite sex because breeding facilities in Japan only have an average of 20 birds, the agency quoted Ueda as saying.
It is not known if the frequency of homosexuality is higher than in the wild, where telling the sexes apart is tough, he said.
Many of the gay male pairs and two of the female pairs were seen performing mounting behavior, it said.
Ueda was not available for comment on the report
Well, whatever the case…any penguins which prefer same sex pairings are welcome to stay in the closet if that’s their preference; the heffalumps should really bug off, I’d say.
But on to another cracker joke which assumed knowledge of UK sweets:
“What lies in a pram and wiggles?”
answer: Jelly Babies.
We suppose these to be gummi bears with a more humanoid morphology.
The thing about crackers is, only about 1/2 pop satisfactorily.
My favorite party favor ever was a thing called a “party bomb” which was from Harrod’s–It was a colorful cardboard cylinder with a wick. You’d light the wick, back up a bit, and the thing would explode with a bang releasing party hats, fake moustaches, etc, all over the room. Cool.
Em, those jokes seem to be pretty lame, even when explained. But what could you expect from the people who gave us Benny Hill?
The only things I know about Jelly Babies is that the fourth doctor had an affinity towards them. Someone told me once they were hard and not very good tasting.
Off topic . . . the UK Cadbury Flake bars are pretty good.
Is this REALLY what they look like? 
I hear they don’t normally have eyes on them. I’m amused they have belly buttons though.
Jelly Babies are soft and when exposed the temperatures of a child’s pocket can spontaineously prubuce Siamese twins and other weird abnormalities.
John S
An American cracker joke:
You know you’re a cracker if you have more vee-hicles on your front lawn than in your driveway.
I was waiting for that.
As pertaining to the species of Cracker indigenous to Florida, it goes on:
. . . one of them is on blocks and there must be at least one broken window covered over with a hunk of old shower curtain. Bonus points if either is a roofless convertible.
. . . more than half have “classic car” license plates, thus allowing you to evade the emissions ordinance . . . clouds of black exhaust are your contribution to community mosquito control.
. . . you paint gray-green because it is the natural color of mildew.
. . . you don’t bother with curtains . . . people on the street can’t see 'em through the aluminum foil.
. . . your front door is a custom-made imitation outhouse model, complete with a half-moon and a knocker shaped like a corncob on a string.
. . . this is an improvement over your last knocker, which was an actual wrench on an actual string.
. . . you put your new washer/dryer on the front porch so’s it’ll be more convenient to the couch.
. . . you put the swimming pool in the front yard so’s you can keep an eye on your daycare kids from the couch.
. . . child safety is paramount to you, for which reason you stick a rake in your pool before they swim, in case snakes have fallen in. This is necessary because you have been unable to see to the bottom since the week after you installed it.
. . . your kids wear swimsuits during all daylight hours. This makes it more convenient to hose 'em off before taking 'em out in public. If it’s real special, like church, they can wear shorts and a t-shirt over the swimsuit. No socks, though–they’ll just lose 'em in the pool.
. . . you protested school uniforms as an infringement of your civil rights. They already have shorts and a t-shirt, and sneakers are impractical–kids’ feet grow, after all. Flip-flops are better–they can hang out of those for months.
Your personal fashion preferences center on shorts and a tube top. For special affairs, you wear stretch pants and a tube top. With flip-flops.
. . . when choosing a new home, you gravitate toward the ones built on stilts, so as to have extra room for your side-job’s lawn equipment, a Ski-Doo and a 14-foot runabout on a trailer, a dog kennel, two deep freezes locked with chains of dimensions large enough to tow a small automobile, three broken bicycles, a skateboard ramp, a gas grill, a smoker, a whole-animal fryer, a picnic table made from the old front door and two Bob’s Barricades, a windblock made from the rest of that old shower curtain, and a water hose hooked up to an old sink that drains onto the ground. (Yup, it’s a Florida kitchen–saves heating up the house.)
O.K.-You asked for it-it’s too long to fit in a cracker,but here’s my current favourite joke.
A ‘Geordie’ wins a haunch of Venison in his Social Club Meat draw (like a raffle),and proudly takes it home to the wife.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“It’s DEER, Pet.” he explains.
“Why,the Bairns will never eat that!” she says.
“NO,lets try it for Sunday lunch-they might like it.” he replies,hopefully.
So,Sunday lunch comes round,and he’s about to carve the joint,in front of the wife and offspring.
"Right Kids,"says he,“We’ve got something different for lunch today-can you guess what it is?”
“Is it Beef,Dad?” says the son
“No.”
“Is it Pork,Dad?” asks the young daughter.
“NO” says Dad. “I tell you what-here’s a clue. Sometimes your Mother calls me this.”
The little lad turns to his sister and whispers “Don’t eat it-It’s an AR*EHOLE!!!” 
hahahaha…splendid..i love that joke. 