I buy peanuts in one pound plastic jars with red lids. I buy them three or four jars at a time and put them in the pantry. Eventually, I notice that there are two or three partially empty jars, and I consolodate the contents into one jar.
Yesterday as I was doing that, I found a jar about 1/3 full, with a label that had been made by the children. Bright colors scribbled on paper and taped on, obviously done by the four and/or five year old. So I poured the peanuts in with the rest in the jar I was filling, pulled the label off and tossed the empty jar into the recycling bin.
Later, I went to the pantry for a handful of peanuts to nibble on. I bit down, heard a sharp snap and felt something hard and smooth in my mouth. Oh, no! A broken tooth? Feeling around with my tongue, the piece seemed too big to be a piece of tooth. I spat out the nuts and found …
an uncooked dry navy bean.
Retrieving the peanut jar, I found that the top layer of nuts was about half peanuts and half navy beans.
It seems, the children had made a musical instrument.
In the words of the immortally idiotic Adam Sandler:
In lunch lady land
Your dreams come true!
Clouds made of carrots and peas,
Mountains built of shepards pie,
And rivers made of macaroni and cheese!
But don’t forget to return your trays,
And try to ignore my gum disease.
No student can escape the magic of…
Lunch lady land!!!
Oh oh oh oh oh
Hoagies and grinders, Hoagies and grinders
Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans…
Meatloaf sandwich!
Sloppy joe slop, sloppy joe
Sloppy joe slop, sloppy joe uh-hu
…
Martin, are you familiar with hoagies, grinders, and
sloppy joes, or are those also Americanisms?
Navy Beans I know. We call them “Baked Beans”. My wife has been at me for years for calling them Navy Beans. I should send her over there at you.
Hoagies I know. There was a character in “Day of the Tentacle” called “Hoagie”. I think he started out with a hoagie in his hand. (And there was Hoagy Carmichael… Did he have anything to do with them?)
Grinders - dunno.
Sloppy Joes - you have me there.
Cigarettes?? Remember watching a television show where someone asked if they had a fag. Person passed them a cigarette. Does faggot still mean that or is it just a stick?
I recollect an incident that occurred on my first trip to the States (which
of course involved purchasing duty free stuff on the plane).
Someone asked me for a cigarette and I said sorry, I don’t have any,
however I said I had 200 fags in my bedroom - much to the amusement
of the gathered company. I of course, in my British-English ignorance,
had no idea what they were all laughing about.