and, of course: “He’s not staying on his part of the seat!”
“My butt hurts!” “He’s looking at me!”
“It’s my turn for a window.”
“I can’t hear you, na,na,na nah!”
He/She has/won’t/ open/close the window.
“I still can’t hear you, I’m a snake! Na,na,na,na nah!”
What did St. Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland?
“Are yez all right in the back, there, lads?”
Can I drive?
“He’s touching me!”
“No he’s not, he doesn’t have any hands!”
“That’s not what he’s touching me with!” 
He’s breathing on me.
“She keeps slapping me with her tongue!” “Sean’s drooling venom again!”
He is too touching me! hands, or no hands… tongue or no tongue… he IS touching me 
AND… there is NO SMOKING in the car! 