My vacuum cleaner sounds a lot like like it’s speaking Arabic. I kid you not.
Of course it’s just because of the way the spindle does its thing on the hallway carpeting while I’m moving it around, but still. I mean, an Arabic-speaking vacuum cleaner: how cool is that?
I have a computer fan that sounds like the group vocals from Yes with a swirling Hammond B3 mixed in. Someone once told me that this hearing of voices within sounds of wind turbulence is actually considered a form of mental illness. Hee-hee-hee. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. 
djm
MODERATORS!
Djm is making a psychiatric diagnosis! 
Mine did that right before it caught fire.
Depends what it says. If it says “Grab a pen and write this down” resist the temptation, or say goodbye to sleep for the entire night!
Only to those dim of imagination. Let the dull and juiceless make their self-comforting brushoff guesses to explain away what is beyond their reach.
Not to be vaunty, but I say it’s due to mental flexibility and vitality and pattern recognition - the last being essential in learning music, I think. If that’s being a nutcase, I’ll take that any day.
Hell, I don’t know what it says. I don’t speak Arabic!! For all I know it’s complaining about work.
But no, I.B., you’re not gonna trip me up with that one. It’s been done already, and I’m NOT about to name a vacuum cleaner “Gabriel”.
Anyway, I just said it sounds like Arabic. Seriously. A lot of the guys I buy stuff from are often talking to others in that language, so I hear its tone patterns and cadences every day. And now it’s the vacuum cleaner.
Edit: Which, by the way, is NOT some sort of complaint. The guys I buy stuff from are fine people and I don’t have any problem with them. It’s just…you know…the vaccum cleaner.
You could probably save a lot of money buying homegrown. You may have to clean your pipe more often, but that’s not such a big sacrifice if you have some rolling papers around. 
djm
I believe you, Nano. Although it didn’t speak Arabic (I don’t think), your vacuum cleaner reminds me of when my friend Vinnie Gambini’s father bought a new 1975 Oldsmobile. It was July 31, 1975, Vinnie’s birthday. I was at Vinnie’s home and we were messing around in the garage. That was when the car began speaking to us. Not only did it keep talking to us, but the car actually thought it was Jimmy Hoffa! At least that’s what it sounded like it was saying; it was hard to tell because it had some sort of speech impediment. Like it was trying to talk with a sock in its mouth or something. That oldsmobile must have been a real lemon too because that was when it developed a knocking sound. I have to admit, though, that I’ve never heard a car knock like that when the engine isn’t running. Anyway, Vinnie’s dad got rid of the car that night and we never saw it again.
Hunh! You buy a Metatron Company Vacuum cleaner, what do you expect?
When I was a little kid, I found it enjoyable to lay on the floor while my mother used the Electrolux canister vacuum cleaner, and get goosebumps from the sound it made. It was very calming. I have never figured out why except it must have had some kind of musical frequencies or sumthin…
Grooving on the Electrolux vibe is pretty postmodern. But goosebumps and calming? I’m trying to get that. It’s not working so far. Do harrowing amusement park rides make you feel centered and Buddha-like? Just asking.
And Will, I know you’re lying. Everyone knows no one’s named “Vinnie” except on TV.
so much for Italians in Minneapolis
Never mind that.
Heeeeeey! It could-a happened. Ya know?
Ok. I admit it. I lied. Are you happy now? Sheeeesh!
The kid’s name was Antonio. And it was a cement mixer.