school/living issues

Poststructural Pub
1

I’ve struggled with myself over whether or not to post this for a while but I decided to, because I have nobody else to ask what I should do.

I’m registered for classes at the (not so) local community college for this fall. The school costs around $3000 a year, making it the cheapest school I could find, and I’m eligible for financial aid to cover almost all of it.

But I have nowhere to stay. I was planning on staying with, or at the very least around, my best friend, but he has cut off all contact with me because he’s addicted to drugs really badly and I brought up how bad off he’s become. Even if I could find a job and an apartment with no vehicle and no public transportation, I wouldn’t be able to live there without knowing at least one person, because it’s so rural and I have no car.

So now I’m registered for classes but have nowhere to stay while I’m going to school.

I talked to my charity therapist (he sees me for $0.00) and he gave me a bunch of numbers to call re: housing. I called and the school doesn’t offer any kind of student housing services at all, but they referred me to a few shelters, which are not even nearby (hours away, in fact). They wanted to be helpful, I could tell, but weren’t.

They gave me a number to a welfare organization to find nearby housing but one of the caveats of their program for finding people immediate housing is that you can’t be currently receiving over X amount of money, and my student financial aid counts as such so I’m not eligible. If I quit school, I could stay there. But I want to stay there so I can go to school!

I’d only be eligible to put on the regular welfare waiting list for housing, which they themselves told me would take more than the six weeks when school starts. I was on one of those lists before and it took nine months. And, I don’t really want to be on welfare.

My mom, who is not only a bitch but also mentally ill, really wants me to leave. She tells me this every day. My entire family hates me, actually. It took me a long time to fully realise that because nobody wants their family to hate them, but it’s true. The last time she was like this I left (I guess you can say it was on my own, which my mom would have you believe, but I really feel I had no choice), and of course I ended up homeless.

I was sexually assaulted then and I was abused in other less serious ways, which are probably part of being homeless, but the prospect of once again being homeless is still scarey. I wasn’t ready to be homeless then … and if I can help it, I don’t want to be again, but if I must be, this time I know what to be prepared for.

I can’t get a lot of loans because I plan to go to grad school eventually, and after 2 years I’m going to have to go to schools that cost more than $3000 a year so I will have to get major loans then. Plus, I am already in lot of debt due to medical bills and I can’t just keep accumulating debt forever.

So, what should I do?

I called my therapist but it flooded here the other day and because of that there are a lot of people needing counseling so I can’t move my next appointment up any further (which is the end of this month). When I sleep, this is all I can think about, when I am awake, this is all I can thin about.

I’ve tried very hard to get everything together in the past year or so to go to school and I feel as though it still isn’t enough. I’m considering dropping all my classes and deferring schooling for yet another year (at the advice of a fellow Chiffer) while I get more together and have a stable place to stay, and possibly find a school that doesn’t cost a lot and where I can live on campus…I don’t know.

This isn’t just a long pity-me post, I actually have questions:

•What is a US city that has good public transportation but that doesn’t cost a whole lot to live in?

•Anybody have a room they wanna rent in an area with good public transport (I have no car if you haven’t already guessed)?

2

Hi Cranberry,

You and I haven’t exchanged words before, but I couldn’t leave your plea unanswered.

You don’t say where you need to live–it might be worth mentioning here in case someone knows someone who could offer advice or help.

Ask the folks at school to contact professors to see if any can offer a spare room in the short term. I consider it an emergency if you’re facing homelessness–again! They should be able to set it up so they contact the profs themselves and have the profs contact you directly.

They should also be able to put a note up on bulletin boards or contact other area students to see if someone needs an apartment-mate.

And, give this serious thought before you discard the idea–visit a church near the school. Skip the rich-looking ones. You might could skip the white ones. Stand up at the end of service and explain your situation and ask for advice. It beats sleeping on the street.

Let us know how things go–we care more than you might think.

Marguerite

3

first off, Cranberry - I want to applaud you for wanting to go to school. With all on your plate, it would be so easy to sit back and let “the system” take care of you (I know, lousy care, but I think you understand what I’m saying).

I don’t remember what exactly you were looking to go to school for, something with animals???

Some options - look at a more “tech” oriented school that has co-op opportunities. The following is a link to one in our area:
http://www.cinstate.cc.oh.us/
Several of their programs also have “reciprocating” opportunities worked out with four year colleges in order to continue schooling.

For housing - do you belong to a church? I’m not asking for you theological beliefs, but because often churches will have families that help when others need to “relocate” or may even be willing to have you live with them, in return for some volunteer work.

As far as public transportation - it’s been MY experience that many midwestern cities (such as Cincinnati) have TERRIBLE public systems! We have buses, but you have to go to downtown to make a connection to get from one side of the city to another. This means easily an hour or more ride. Light rail has been talked about - but I doubt it will get beyond that for a long time - even with the price of gas. Most people in this area are just TOO used to cars and independant transportation.

If I think of any other ideas, I’ll post. Good luck with your dreams - do NOT give up on them.

Missy

4

Marguerite,

The area where the school is is Mingo County, WV. It borders Pike County, Kentucky, and its Williamson, WV. The “city” is in two states. There’s no people there, basically. I’ve put up ads and called about apartments and things already, but I have very little money and I’m not eligible for immideate housing from the welfare unless I’m not drawing any money and my financial aid counts as such, so I’d only be eligible to be put on the regular waiting list, and it’s uber long.

I’ve put up little construction paper “roommate wanted” ads EVERYWHERE but nobody’s called. As one of the counselors told me “we don’t need on campus housing because every single student lives with their parents”. Except that one of my parents is in prison and one is insane.

It’s the same way with job applications. I have them in everywhere over there. Not one call. It’s a small area and I share the same name as my father, who is a notorious criminal…and everybody recongnizes my name. That’s all I can think of as to why nobody wants me.

Missy,

I don’t belong to church, but I know a few churches around here. They don’t have phones though. The one I live behind has a total congregation of >20 people. That’s how churches are around here. They’re not organized or anything, and they actually PREACH that interracial couples are going to Hell, gay people are going to hell, etc. I can’t reach out to them. I was abused in 9th grade by a preacher at one of the churches. He still preaches.

As for school, I’ve abandoned the vet tech idea because that was something I could do in a couple years. I decided if I’m going to go to school I better at least do something I’d really want to do forever. I havent’ decided what that is, but I know it’s not veterinary technology..

5

Hi C.,

Have you already tried posting ads? Post in local papers and at the school, and try posting online like at Craigslist. (Is that in your area?) As someone who moves a lot, that method usually works for me.

[oops! You just posted on that!]

Good luck in your housing search (and in your life),

Best wishes,

Justine

6

I don’t know if you could work it out, but it seems to me that you might be better off, long term by relocating to a more urban area, where people think a little more progressively, are more tolerant, and have more effective social aid programs. For instance, in many cities you could access a community college and a YMCA for temp housing. Or a youth hostel. Or somesuch. Even a decent shelter. More people would be looking for apartment sharing too. I think I’d get out of there, find a city with a supportive network, temp housing, and then sign up for school.

7

I want to relocate, emmline, but I have no idea of where to go or how to do it successfully. I’ve tried it before and failed.

8

Hey - idea!!

Have you contacted Berea College in the Richmond KY area? Berea is specifically for those that cannot “afford” college, and has a long tradition of helping others. I’m not “up” on all of the regulations and requirements for attending, but I do know they have a program set up where students somehow “work” in the shops in town, etc.

I just did a google search and found Berea’s website:
http://www.berea.edu/
It looks that you are too late for this coming fall - but it may be something to keep in mind for the future.

IF you would like to come to Cincinnati sometime and look around at options, just let me know and you can stay with us for a time. Unfortunately, with a small house, we aren’t set up to offer you a long term stay.

Missy

9

Hey Cran,

It sounds like your area is a total dead end. From what you say, it sounds like relocating is the best idea. And now, a quick plug for the Los Angeles area.

There are several respectable community colleges in the area. I would recommend staying out of the actual city of LA, but there’s a whole lot of stuff in the surrounding cities too. The only trick with the colleges is that you will want to be a resident for at least one full year so that you can take advantage of the ridiculously cheap in-state tuition. Public transportation is decent, in that you can go anywhere, but it can take a while. And it shouldn’t be too hard to find work. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you speak rather good Spanish, right? If you do, that would be a huge asset. On housing, there are people I will call. There are quite a few resources that you might be able to benefit from. Also, some areas are very inexpensive to rent in, and they aren’t real bad areas. End of plug.

Anyway, you have my prayers and best wishes. I wouldn’t worry too much about loans, because getting educated will help to solve many problems. If you have a bunch of debt from the past, you might look in to filing for bankruptcy. Sometimes that can turn out to be a good thing. And the state of California opens up a whole new world of college aid to people who live here for at least a year. Again, I’ll make some calls, and get you some details on the resources around here.

ants

10

Isn’t California the most expensive place to live in the United States?

I’ve been told by my therapist to stay away from California (he specifically mentioned San Francisco and Los Angeles actually) and New York because it’s expensive to survive there. He also doesnt’ think I should discuss these things on the Internet with “strangers”. So oh well.

It depends how you define “rather good”. All the Spanish I know I’ve taught myself, I have very few oppurtunities to speak. I’m much better at reading/writing. I’m rather self conscious about it..

11

There’s a game called ‘yes, but’ where somebody says
I have a problem and then dismisses every solution offered.
Your original post contained several solutions,
but you don’t want to be on welfare and you
don’t want loans, and… Also several solutions
have been proposed, yes, but…

You are, you know, one of the most intelligent
people on the board. Good luck solving your problem! Jim

12

I understand exactly what you’re saying, Jim, and you’re right.

I’m working on it. Some descisions are just very difficult to make, and I don’t really know how. That’s why I posted.

13

Divide it into parts and attack them.
You don’t need us.

I will offer this much, and if you say Yes but I’ll
throw my saintly grandfather down the stairs.
You wouldn’t want that to happen to
my grandfather, would you?

If your family hates you, get out of there.
Move to someplace where there are people
and opportunities, find work and start from
there.

You are, by the way, about five times too bright
for a community college. Best

P. S. Grad school is free–they give you fellowships
and assistantships, etc. Or they don’t accept you.

14

I know Ants means well, but I’d go with your therapist and stay away from Los Angeles. Don’t get me wrong–I’m an L.A. native and I love the city, but housing is expensive and the public transportation is “less than adequate” to put it politely.

Good luck,

No E

15

“Yes, but” there are also more resources there, and more open attitude towards alternative lifestyles. A lot of stuff that happens every day in San Francisco and LA would get you killed here in Chicago (and i’m not kidding). If i had to pick an urban area to live in, i think i personally prefer the West. Cities are brutal everywhere, but it seems to get progressively more brutal as you move East on the map. Oh, by the way, i agree, not LA per se, but there are a lot of communities around there and between LA and San Diego. Unfortunately i don’t know that area very well, though.

Another good area is Colorado (if there’s still space left after all the white people from California moved there! :slight_smile:, and if you have patience with the Christians).

I wouldn’t recommend Vegas to anyone :smiling_imp: but hey, that seemed a good place to live too. The locals seemed very sensible, but the tourists are insane.

16

New Orleans. lived there a long time. Lots of gays,
lots of schools, lots of work in restaurants, coffee houses,
cheap rents. Lots of people do fine without cars.
We know the educational system,
we are connected professionally to schools. It will
take a year to get instate residence. May or may not
be required for community colleges. We
can connect you with people to advise you
at University of New Orleans. Much good fun.

As good as it is likely to get. Jim

17

Glauber is right about the communities in the area. The city of LA in itself is not the place to be. But there is a lot of ground covered by cities that are a completely different world than LA. There’s over 10 million people in the area, but only 3 million in Los Angeles. I’m from the San Gabriel Valley. There are plenty of resources to be found, and the people don’t have any axes to grind.

18

I’m flattered that you think I’m bright, Jim.

My first plans weren’t for the community college. They were for a state university but then I got a letter saying I didn’t get the aid I needed, so I had to scrap those plans immideately and I had a few weeks inbetween to decide what I wanted to do and I let the friend who abandoned me for pills talk me into registering at the community college near him. It seemed logical then. It seems stupid now.

I know I need to get out, but it’s weird. Because on some level I fear being without my family, even though they hate me (except for my younger siblings and cousins, all five hundred), they’re still my family. Being the only person in your world (which is what leaving again will entail) is actually very scarey, but I recongnize that I still have to do it, and I am going to. Just don’t know where the frig I’m gonna go.

19

Seperating yourself from family can be a very scary thing to do. But it also gives you the freedom to reform your own family through trusted friends and so forth. And you’ll always have us Chiffsters. :smiley:

20

Oh no! :wink: