Using a torch to clear your driveway of snow is a bad idea.
A man using a torch to clear snow in front of a garage door accidentally set fire to a shed on Sunday afternoon, causing $20,000 in damage.
I assume by “torch” they mean a blowtorch or acetylene torch or something
And not … you know… the angry mob kind
(Or, for our British English-speaking friends, the find-your-way-in-the-dark kind)
Some o’ those LED ‘torches’ are prolly bright enough to melt snow… 
Sounds like somebody’s been watching a few too many Red Green shows…
I dunno, it wasn’t a duct tape torch…or was it…
meyhem…pure meyehm… 
I don’t know about Green Bay but here in Chicago we’ve run out of room for snow in the alleys. I’ve been thinking about investing in a torch to melt the stuff myself.
I’m not talking about melting the snow instead of shoveling or blowing it with the snow blower.
When the width of one’s lot is as wide as a three car garage there isn’t a whole heck of a lot of space left over for piling snow that’s cleared from the alley.
Last week one of the city garbage collectors must have slipped and fallen on ice in our alley because later that day the city came by and left a half inch of salt all down the alley.
well, here’s what you need, then.
Something obscene about that.
They give off no heat; that’s the point.
that was the joke