Well, my almost two-year-old woke up just a while ago covered in vomit. After giving her a bath, my wife took her so I could shower off all that had gotten on me. I then got out of the shower to find the baby who had just blown chunks walking around, blowing on my Sindt! I think I’ll clean it a few times before I play it again.
This reminds me of when she was 8 months old, she threw up in the sound hole of one of my cheaper classical guitars (an Esteve GR-08 ). I really shouldn’t leave these things out!
When my 2YO was newborn, we had the changing table in the master bath in a corner. I also hang up my next-day’s clothes on a hook in that corner. You guessed it, my wife was changing her, had just lifted her bottom up to get the diaper under her, and, BOOM, all over my clothes. I really tried to be grossed out, but it was too damn funny.
Years ago, it will almost be 20 in September, when my first born was a wee lad, I was changing his diaper on the table at my parents house.
My dad was sitting next to the table with a cup of coffee. Weeellll, my son decided to add a little sweetener or (what ever it may be) to my dads coffee. Shot right in there… Being a young parent at the time. No one warned me about changing little boys diapers.
Reminds me of my Grandmother’s luck in changing Vanek boy’s diapers. Started with my brother, first diaper change he got her right in the eye. Years later she was changing me and I did the same. My son decided to carry on the tradition the first time she tried to change him. Needless to say Grandma isn’t changing any more diapers.
Soundhole of your guitar…blechhhh! My daughter did throw up in one of my boots once if it makes you feel any better.
K, here’s another one.
This is not as gross, however, clever and funny on my sons behalf.
Again, my firstborn. When he was, hmmm, around four. I was paper training a puppy in the back room of the house.
My son, in his reasoning, got the idea, I reckon, on showing the pup how to do it. Cause there was a pile on the paper and twernt doggie doo.
I think every parent who is actively involved in the raising of a child has probably been barfed on, peed on, or otherwise exposed to kid yuckies.
For me, I think I’ll save the truly gross one and tell you about one that was more poignant than anything else.
When my son was almost 2, he got a virus that caused him to lose anything he ate or drank from one end or the other. Every time he’d vomit (several times daily), we’d be there holding him and comforting him, stroking his head and saying “it’s okay, Patrick, it’s okay.” You have to say something. (And yes, we are both named Patrick - my parents picked such a good name for a boy I didn’t think I could improve on it.)
Anyway, after he was better, for almost 6 months, any time his mommy or I would even cough, he’d be right there patting our heads and saying “it o-kay mahmee” or “it o-kay dad-dee.” Every time, I was struck by how sweet little kids can be. It also told me that we are not doing too badly as parents, if we can have a 2-year-old wanting to comfort people who are feeling poorly.
I get a lump in my throat just remembering it. Nowadays, he just asks “Okay, Daddy?” and I assure him that I am fine, just a cough. But he still cares enough to verify that I am well.
I wish I could be at home with my family right now instead of at work (wasting time on the internet when I should be working).
This isn’t in the same category, but I believe it qualifies under the heading.
I was visiting India some years ago. One of my group was a rather vain man who considered himself an authority on men’s fashion. He was extremely, obnoxiously proud of his particularly choice neckties, sportscoats, shoes, socks, you name it.
There was a festival going on one evening. At the entrance to a building where some festivities were about to begin, were two splendidly decorated elephants with their handlers. As did everyone else, we stopped for a moment before going in, to look at the elephants and pat them.
My friend stood in front of one of the animals, admiring it, when the elephant took an interest in his necktie. Reached out with his trunk and took hold of the impeccable silk tie.
Well, of course, that’s the elephant’s nose. I was perfectly delighted that my vain friend had been elected to wear an enormous glob of elephant snot on his necktie the rest of the evening, so much so that it’s the only thing I remember about the occasion.
An old friend of mine had a routine he’d go through as a child anytime he was sick. If he became sick in the middle of the night, he’d run into his sister’s room, tear back her covers, throw up on her, and cover her back up. Of course, she would do the same when she was sick. Their parents waited until they were well to punish them. He said it was worth the punishment. He thought it was particularly funny if she didn’t wake up right away.
Here is an update on my situation. I thought I’d cleaned my Sindt well, but I ended up hugging the great porcelain throne all night last night. I did so much blowing into the pot last night, I don’t even want to try blowing my whistle today. Maybe in a couple of days!
picardy
He thought it was particularly funny if she didn’t wake up right away. 