Wooden whistles rules. No doubt about it. I enjoy eating plants, cutting them to bits, slicing them, boiling them raw, or burning them in the bloom of their youth. And I enjoy playing a whistle made from wood. I can’t cut down a tree on my own though, too heavy the burden. Someone else must do it, and I’m not entirely against cutting down of trees on earth. Same goes fo the meat and whales in Iceland and …OT.
Oh, and by the way, does anyone know a joke song, I think from Vegetales, “I can hear the scream of the vegetables” ? One of the guitarists in the band back in Glasgow was singing this tune and we all twitched our sides listening to it. It went something like dis;
Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, coleslaw’s a fascist regime
Don’t think that they don’t have feelings, just cause a radish can’t scream
Chorus:
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that’s a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It’s time to stop all this gardening (it’s dirty as hell)
Let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I’ll bite him clean in two
I’m a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, “This is my finest hour,
I’d kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower”
Chorus
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don’t mash that potato!
Oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8’s genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It’s time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
Let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade…)
There’s always “Call any vegetable” by Frank Zappa and the Mothers.
There was a guy on Jeopardy once who called himself a vegetable-rights advocate. When Alex asked him about it the guy responded something to the effect, “I just think we should fill our bellies with meat and chemicals.”
thanks, claudine!! That lyrics was exactly what I’ve been looking for for…what, three years!? lol…
Hmm…chas, I think some extreme scientists (like those you see in SF films) might start a question whether or not it is possible to sustain a human body solely with chemicals… wait, given the latest bio-tech, perhaps we can ‘create’ fully artificual foods…
How could I forget that one? Well, if my vinyl collection weren’t in such disarray I’d write out the lyrics for you. All I clearly remember is that each verse ended like this:
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
That the vegetable will respond to you.
