OT: Joke to cheer us up

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.
His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,

“Hey, Dave! How ya doin?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,

“How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

“Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4-letter word in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says,

“Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”


Merry Christmas and a Flu Free New Year!

lol

FFC

A little boy climbs up on Santa Clauses lap at the mall and Santa says “I’ll bet I know what you want for Christmas young man. T-O-Y-S”, he spells out tapping him once on the nose for each letter.

“I have plenty of toys”, the boy responds.

“Well then C-A-N-D-Y”, Santa spells again tapping him on the nose for each letter.

The boy thinks for a moment and says, “No…I have a lot of candy”.

“Well then what is it you want for Christmas?”

“P-U-S-S-Y, and don’t tell me you dont have any cause I smell it on your finger.”

i like this little comic," lenny cravitz and his rhinostalk escape shed" :laughing: http://www.teamfishcake.co.uk/kravitz/

“If you lose your job, your marriage, and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won’t matter that much.” -Jack Handy

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” - Socrates