OT Depression

Whistle
1

Hi folks,

With the recent acknowledgement of a members despression in another thread, I thought this might be an appropriate time to post this.

I wrote this about five years ago. Hope it helps. :slight_smile:

There is definitely magic in the red nose. Humor can do so much to help someone toward good health. If not for humor, I’m afraid I don’t know what I would be like today.

About three years ago my physician told me I should explore the possibility that I was suffering from clinical depression. Me? No way. I had a wonderful wife, a great job and enough income to be comfortable. How could I be depressed?

Well, turns out she was right on the money. I spent the next two and one half years trying to explain it away as anything else other then depression. Bad mistake. That’s time I can’t get back. Time I could have been recovering. I have lost so much because I did not want to admit to myself that I, the infallible super human could succumb to a “mental illness”.

So, I want to bring attention to this feared and misunderstood condition. If you have read this far, chances are you feel you may be suffering from depression yourself or you know someone who is. By sharing my experience, perhaps someone else can benefit from what I have learned so far. I am on the way to recovery. I am not “cured”. I don’t have all the answers, but please read on. Depression is NOT unbeatable.

Please understand, I have no psychiatric training. I am simply sharing my own experiences. I have clinical depression.

Depression is Real

First, clinical depression is a real medical condition. It is not “the blues”. You don’t catch it. You don’t just snap out of it.

Symptoms can include, but are not limited to the following:

Sleeplessness or constant fatigue.
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.
Overwhelming sadness.
Lack of interest in things that you normally find pleasure in.
No motivation.
Thoughts of death or suicide.

Society puts a huge stigma on mental illness. Depression is an mental illness, however it can be treated. I know that I did not want to admit to myself that I could possibly be depressed. I denied it. I hid it. I tried explaining it away as other things like Thyroid disease or one of the other ailments that I suffer from. The hardest thing you will do before you can start to get better is to admit to yourself that you do in fact have depression.

Before you can admit it, you feel that no one else can understand what you are feeling. The pain and the overwhelming shame engulf you, but once you can admit it to yourself, you can start to take the next step: reaching out to others for help and understanding.

You may find that some people will distance themselves from you. That’s okay. They are doing it, not because they don’t like you, or because they are afraid of you, it’s because they don’t understand how to help. They themselves feel powerless. They feel that the simplest thing to do is ignore it, just make it go away. Don’t worry, if they are worth caring about, they will come around. It will be up to you to educate them. And that is another step, telling others.

The first time you tell someone is the hardest. You already know how you felt when you first heard it. Others may feel the same way. Explain it in simple terms. You have an illness, something you can get help for. Make them understand that depression is not something you can “just snap out of”. .I’m not saying go out and tell the world. Tell those that you want to know, those that you feel can offer support during your recovery.

Getting The Right Help

The next step is finding professional help. You should not try to get through this alone. Why even try? To try to do it on your own will just burn up time you could be spending getting better. When you are travelling a long journey and you find yourself lost, do you just take every road that comes along hoping it will be the right one or do you seek out direction from those that know?

Start with your regular physician. They are in the best position to make a recommendation to your next course of action. They will probably refer you to a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist. Finding a therapist can be challenging. If you know someone going through therapy and you feel comfortable about talking to them about your depression, by all means ask for there opinion on who they are seeing. Because of that nasty stigma thing, you probably don’t know of anyone who has revealed they have depression, or else you don’t want to make yourself vulnerable. Go with your doctor’s recommendation. They have probably sent others to a select group of professionals. Chances are they wouldn’t recommend them if they didn’t know they have experienced success with patients they have sent prior to you.

If you have insurance, it will most likely be covered or at least most of it. If you don’t have insurance that covers treatment and feel you can’t afford it, call your local county health department. They will most likely have a program established where you pay on a sliding scale. Many members of the clergy have also been trained in the treatment of depression as well. DO NOT USE MONEY AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO SEEK OUT PROFESSIONAL HELP. AT ALL COSTS, GET HELP!

When you start therapy, don’t be afraid. Relax. Everything you say is confidential. They have heard just about everything before, so your life won’t shock them. They are there to help you, to guide you back to good health. Keep in mind that this is your first time going through this, it’s their millionth. Let them do their job. Forget about why they are asking certain questions. Their job is not to trick you into saying something that you don’t want to. They know where they are guiding you. Cooperate as best as you can. Try to be open and honest. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and afraid of talking about painful aspects of your life. Just remember, you can not pull out a sliver if you can not find it.

Treatment may take a while. Don’t expect miracles to happen overnight. Depression doesn’t just all of a sudden appear. You take a long time to become depressed, it’s going to take a long time to heal.

It may be necessary to take medication. I do. It’s okay. The medications today help to correct the chemical imbalances caused by depression. You won’t become addicted and you probably won’t be on them forever. The doctor or therapist will guide you through this. In the beginning you may have feelings of resentment about taking a drug to keep you “sane”. I know I did. I was ashamed that I had to take a pill to function in my day to day life. That’s understandable. No one wants to feel they are out of control and need a pill to keep it together. Eventually you will be forced to weigh the benefits of a little pill as compared to feeling like crap all the time. Hey, if it helps get you through this, do it. Don’t be stubborn. It’s there to help you get better.

While I’m on the subject of medication, different medications can cause side effects in certain people. If you feel that you are experiencing side effects, tell your doctor right away. Some meds need time for the side effects to wear off. Okay, but if you feel that the side effects are not lessening or that they are just intolerable, make your doctor aware of this. There are many drugs out there for depression. I had to go through about six different ones before I found one that had no noticeable side effects. It may take a while to find the right one for you. Be patient, you will find the relief you need.

Bottom line: If your doctor prescribes medication for your depression, take it. The medication is there to help relieve the symptoms brought on by depression. It’s no different then taking cough syrup when you have a cold or an aspirin for a headache. Don’t suffer needlessly out of stubbornness, fear or arrogance.

Emotional Support

Very important. Seek out family and friends to help you get through this. Wouldn’t you do it for them? Of course you would, so don’t hesitate to talk to those who love you and want you to get better. Make them aware of what you are going through. Try your best to make them understand what you are feeling. They probably won’t unless they have been through it themselves, but that’s okay. It’s enough just to have someone listen. I have always believed that it’s a good idea to tell others how I think I’m feeling. By hearing it come out of my mouth, I know how true it is.

If for some reason you don’t have anyone close right now, there are support groups in the community who meet at least on a weekly basis. They will know what you are going through. Don’t worry about taking help from a stranger. Afterall, your time will come to offer assistance to someone who will be in the same position you are in right now.

Simplify

I’m not going to kid you, going through depression is rough. The simplest problems in life can feel like a major crisis. For me, the more stress I piled on, the less I was capable of accomplishing. I eventually did nothing. I was paralyzed from the neck up. I needed to simplify my life.

Decide what is really important and acknowledge to yourself that the other stuff may have to be put aside for now. For me, working on my marriage and this web site are taking priority. They are what is important to me. So take some time and figure out what is important to you, then work on them with the understanding that you may have days where nothing is important. That you just can’t get off the couch. It’s okay. They will still be important. The world will survive without you for a while. You’ll be back. You will feel better again.

Laughter vs. Depression

I love to laugh. I love hearing others laugh. My “drug” is comedy. While others escape using alcohol, illegal drugs, gambling or violence, I choose laughter. I can’t watch dramas or the news. I still like Star Trek and Discovery, but my “high” is always comedy. There is already enough sadness and turmoil in life, why would I want to fill the part of my day that I do have control over with more? No, I love to just laugh.

Some of the things that I find helpful to get me laughing:

Sitcoms
Regis Philbin
Rosie O’Donnell
My dog.
alt.jokes
other people’s driving
Martin and Lewis movies
Winnie the Pooh cartoons
And my wife Dianne

Helping others to laugh is a great thing to do as well. It’s a good socialization skill. People will just about always be grateful for getting them to laugh. However, I have found that when making others laugh, it’s very important to use victimless humor. Laughter should never be at the expense of someone…not even yourself. There is so much that is funny with out running the risk of hurting someone’s feelings.

With all this said, just please remember:
No matter how desperate things seem at the moment, they will get better.
Help is available to combat this, so use it.
You are not alone. There are others who know what you are feeling.
Arm yourself with knowledge.
Set priorities.

You will get better! And…
Laugh Like Your Life Depends On It!

Dr. Yikes

This Might Help…Author Unknown

Big Rocks

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students. To drive home a point, he used an illustration those students would never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.”
Pulling out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar, he set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?”
Everyone in the class said, “Yes.”

“Really?”
He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?”
By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied.
He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.
Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?”
No!" the class shouted.
Once again he said, “Good.”
Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things into it!”
“No, that’s not the point.” the speaker replied. “The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all."
What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Your children? Your loved ones? Your education? Your dreams? A worthy cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Doing things that you love? Time for yourself? Your health? Your significant other? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you’ll fill your life with little things you worry about that don’t really matter. You’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).
Ask yourself this question: What are the ‘big rocks’ in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.

2

I would like to offer some additional aspects to the discussion of depression that are generally missed by most doctors.

First, let me say, these suggestions are offered in addition to, not as a replacement for, the recommendations SlowAir has made. Depression is potentially fatal, and all sources of possible help should be investigated.

Depression isn’t something that comes from nowhere and “causes” other things. Depression itself is a symptom. It has causes that sometimes can be hunted down and addressed themselves.

Sometimes the causes are situational – something happened or is happening that drives one down into a depressed state. I don’t have anything to add to SlowAir’s comments on this aspect of depression. There are plenty of resources and sources of information.

Sometimes the causes are hormonal.

For example, doctors are trained to check thyroid levels in depressed patients to rule out hypothyroidism. Unfortunately, the reference levels for “normal” that doctors have been trained to work with are sufficiently broad that many people who would benefit from thyroid supplementation are diagnosed as having normal thyroid levels and not treated. For more on this, the book Living Well With Hypothyroidism by Mary Shomon is the best resource.

In general, doctors, including endocrinologists, are trained only to treat hormone imbalances in a very approximate way. Subtle adjustments to DHEA, testosterone (in both men and women), cortisol, natural bioidentical (as opposed to horse) estrogen, natural progesterone, all can have a significant positive impact on bringing the patient out of a depressed state.

Another factor that often can play into depression and other emotional patterns (anxiety, attention deficit, fatigue, hostility, etc. etc.) is hidden food or environmental allergies or sensitivities. There are blood tests now available (one good one is the ALCAT test – do a web search on “ALCAT”). Sometimes removing or reducing a few common foods from the diet can make a big difference, but they never would have been suspected because they’ve been eaten all our lives, and the effect is too subtle or delayed to spot easily.

Similarly with environmental toxins or allergins, starting with the sleeping space. Carpet offgassing, housedust, cleaning products, any number of common things may be stressing the physiology and affecting the brain chemistry. Workplace toxic exposure, even at levels acceptable to OSHA, can also be a factor for some people.

Nutritional deficiencies, particularly mineral deficiencies also can be involved. To track them down, a “packed cell elements test,” “red blood cell elements test” or “white cell elements test” is necessary. The regular serum tests that are part of standard office bloodwork will not reveal deficiencies in some minerals because the body will scavange certain minerals (especially the major electrolytes) from cells to keep the serum levels from falling. So the serum minerals may show up OK even if there’s a serious deficiency in the rest of the body’s stores.

Another factor that can play into depression, fatigue, etc. is “intestinal dysbiosis,” which most typically shows up as an overgrowth of Candida albicans in the gut. If past antibiotic use, dietary patterns and other factors have allowed the Candida yeast or other potentially non-beneficial organisms to overwhelm the gut flora at the expense of beneficial intestinal bacteria, there can be a whole range of problems, including depression and fatigue. The best books on this are written by William Crook, M.D. Although most doctors (at least in the U.S.) have been trained to discount this aspect, it is very real, and addressing it can make a big difference for the patient.

A good place to look at mineral and hormonal tests that are more comprehensive and subtle than what most doctors work with is Great Smokies Diagnostic Laboratory (www.gsdl.com). They also offer digestive analysis and comprehensive parasitology (including Candida albicans, etc.) tests that are considered the gold standard for this kind of testing.

Of course, to make use of these resources requires finding a doctor who is conversant with them and is willing to work with you. The first thing to do, in my opinion, would be to become as familiar as possible yourself with the various aspects, including reading the books and learning about the available tests and treatment options.

In the process of doing that background work, you will come up with questions to ask a doctor that will help determine whether he or she can help you. And you will find, in the books and websites and in conversations with live people, more specific suggestions for finding a doctor to work with. There are plenty of doctors out there who can help with these areas. It’s just a matter of asking around and tracking them down.

Best wishes,
Jerry

3

If I might clarify, however: True food allergies cause immediate reactions such as swelling and itching of lips, mouth, and/or throat, nausea, vomiting, cramping, diarrhea, itching, hives, eczema, redness of skin; possibly also sneezing, runny nose, shortness of breath or other breathing difficulties, and in the case of severe allergies (such as life-threatening allergy to peanut) can cause anaphylaxis (throat tightening, sweating, difficulty breathing, drop in blood pressure, unconsciousness) usually within a few minutes of ingestion of the food.

There are many other food intolerances, adverse reactions, and hypersensitivities to chemicals, etc., but they are not allergies. Surveys show that about one-third of all adults believe they have food allergies, yet true food allergy is estimated to affect less than 2% of the population. About 5% of young children are diagnosed with food allergies, most of which are evident in the first years of life and are often outgrown. Misunderstanding food allergy can result in unnecessary food restrictions - or in some cases prove life-threatening.

(And if it sounds like I was checking my facts with a book - I was. I work for a large group of allergy/asthma specialists.)
Susan

4

Hi, Susnfx.

The argument about “true” allergies has been going on for a long time.

The so called, “type II” or “delayed” allergies (which some insist are not “true” allergies), but “sensitivities” if you prefer, are mediated, for the most part by IgG antibodies, whereas the “classical” or “true” allergies are mediated by IgE antibodies.

The IgE antibody mediated allergies are the classical histamine-type allergies, with their associated symptoms you’ve listed. The IgG mediated sensitivities are nonetheless real, even though most allergists/immunologists are taking awhile to come up to speed on this.

Best wishes,
Jerry

5

Good post! As someone who has suffered from clinical depression off and on since college, I like hearing someone else speak honestly about it. I just want to make a couple of clarifications:

The medication for depression doesn’t correct chemical imbalances “caused by the depression,” it corrects the chemical imbalances that CAUSE depression in many cases. Depression is a mental illness, yes, but like many, if not all mental illnesses, it has physical causes.

Another important point…if you don’t feel comfortable speaking with a therapist, that’s OK. Depression can often be treated medically, with no need for therapy or “counseling.” Don’t let reluctance to speak with a therapist deter you from seeking medical help. For some, speaking with a therapist, or with other sufferers in “group therapy” is a help; for others, particularly those who are intensely private or introverted people, it is more of a hindrance to recovery. Speak to your doctor, and if necessary, to a specialist (aka a psychiatrist) and make up your own mind as to whether therapy is a good course for you.

One important point my doctor has made more than once…it’s often the people closest to the depressed person who first notice there’s a problem. When we think of “depression,” we tend to think first of the crushing sadness and feelings of unworthiness, but often the first signs are more subtle…more like an “emotional flat-line.” I know that, for me, the first sign that I’m about to take a plunge into the pit is a sense of disconnectedness from the world about me (I call it “the glass wall”). It’s taken me years of dealing with this monster to recognize it, but the people around me have come to recognize it very early on. If someone close to you expresses concern, it’s better to speak to your doctor NOW rather than waiting to see if it gets worse because, to be honest, you don’t want to see just how bad it can get. Trust me on this.

Another thing to remember is that the medications used to treat depression take a while to build up in the body to the point where they do much good. They’re not “happy pills,” and they won’t make you feel better instantly. If you’re having thoughts of suicide, it’s best to tell you doctor straight out and let yourself be hospitalized for a time until the medications have a chance to start working. The only problem with this is, if you’re at this point, you may not be ABLE to ask for any help…the further you fall into the pit, the harder it is to reach for help. So, for the families and friends out there…if someone you love has expressed thoughts of suicide, take it seriously. It’s a cry for help…most likely the only cry you will hear. Don’t wait to see if your loved one is serious, or brush it off as “seeking attention”…get him or her to a doctor. Don’t let the pit close over another victim.

Redwolf

6

One thing I would question is the supposition that
the physicians, therapists, and so on you
will see are competent to treat you. They may or
may not be. I’ve seen psychotherapists who
were positively dangerous; many others are just incompetent.
Some very good. The psychotherapist
to whom a physician refers you is as often
as not incompetent, in my experience.

On the one occasion when I got into the sort of
trouble that probably wasn’t just pyschological
(anxiety) my doctor–who seemed good otherwise
and was well recommended–proved ignorant
about medication in ways that would have
cost me plenty if I’d believed him. I managed
to save myself by learning more about my
condition, and insisting that
I get the particular medication that finally helped. He
exercised bad judgement in several other ways
that made my situation harder.

If I found myself in a situation where I
was suffering from a psychological problem
that probably needed meds, I probably would
see a specialist,
a psychiatrist. And I would be ready to
second guess him/her if he/she didnt’
add up.

This generalizes to other conditions, I believe.
Proceeding on the assumption that
the medical people you see
are competent and professional is
the quick route to unnecessary surgery.

By all means seek treatment, but equally
important, in my opinion, is to
always remain a smart consumer of
medical services. Best

P. S. a mundane suggestion. I’m convinced
from my own experience that vigorous
exercise, including aerobic exercise,
weight lifting, etc taken regularly is
a first line of defense against anxiety
and depression. When I am in top physical
condition I’m about 20 percent less
susceptible. Also I remember reading
of studies awhile ago that alleged that
a good long run every day has about
the effect of meds.

7

Quote @ slowair

DO NOT USE MONEY AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO SEEK OUT PROFESSIONAL HELP. AT ALL COSTS, GET HELP!

I agree with much that has been said, but I find the above statement very simplistic and very hurtful.

Have you TRIED to get help for a psychological problem, with no way to pay for it? Have you really tried? I have, and I’ll tesitify that it’s impossible. It’s not as simple as ‘money is not an excuse’. Because it is an excuse. It’s the major problem for a lot of people in this country who want help but can’t get it. If you don’t have the money, you don’t get the help. That’s just how it is.

8

yes, I’ve tried. I saw an (excellent) psychiatrist twice a week for
two years at a hospital in Chicago for two dollars
a visit. Many hospitals and community health centers
offer such treatment on a sliding scale. Best

9

Yes I have tried to find help with no money.

I have no income and the insurance I have does not cover that type of treatment where I am living, so I was forced to seek help for free.

As I said, talk to the folks at the local health department. They will steer you toward some type of help.

In my case, it was just $10 a visit.

I’ll say it again…Don’t let money be an excuse not to get help.!

Mike

10

Quote @ jim stone

yes, I’ve tried. I saw an (excellent) psychiatrist twice a week for
two years at a hospital in Chicago for two dollars
a visit. Many hospitals and community health centers
offer such treatment on a sliding scale. Best

That assumes there are many hospitals and community health centers. We don’t have a hospital where I live. Just one clinic that doesn’t have a pyschiatric division. You have to be able to go far away for therapy(which I did for a long time but now I don’t have the money or the transportation), or not go at all. I’m sure if you live in Chicago it’s much easier.

11

I would like to add that many of the same symptoms can indicate a physical disorder. I suffered from fatigue, listlessness, loss of interest in things I previously cared about, etc. I had a pituitary tumor that didn’t show up until I began losing my field of vision. Surgery and replacement therapy brought me back to my old self. I was fine for about 4 years then I began to experience the symptoms again especially the fatigue. I found out that I was suffering from cardiac ischemia that resulted in a myocardial infarction. Once again surgery has gotten my old self back. I guess my point is don’t ignore these symptoms. They could result from a number of causes. Whistles are great therapy.
Ron

12

Good points all around.

I would also like to say, from my own experience, that a good starting point is to have an honest discussion with your family doctor, followed by a checkup. Many times your doctor can help point you in the direction of the care best suited for your circumstance, and, as pointed out, there are many physical disorders a doctor will want to check for before diagnosing your condition.

Finding adequate health care, particularly in a rural setting, can be a real challenge, and I sympathize so much with that.

My best wishes to all,

–James

13

Hi Cranberry,
No, I don’t think my response to your post assumed
anything. I was answering straightforwardly your
question: ‘Have any of you tried to get help with
a psychological problem, with no way to pay for it?’ Best, Jim

14

What to say, what to say. I should have known that the richness of this place was not only measured in friendships but in experience and knowledge as well. As I read this thread and a couple of others this mourning chocking back tears(not very successfully) I am reminded of that fact.
Martin, in another thread mentioned how important music and animals might be in dealing with depression. Monday Hank the wounder dog and Molly the morgan saved my life. As I was looking down the exit hole of my 357 two thoughts occured to me. One was what a mess I was about to make, and the other was what if no one heard the shot. Who was going to feed Hank and Molly. What would happen to them if I was just a messy heep on the floor and they were trapped in domestication. The next day was one of total disasociation. I was scared. Totaly alone and without hope. I had to get my mind on something else. I picked up a whistle. It was my new Syn jEb and I remembered I had wanted to do some kind of review of it here and so I clicked on in and started to type. It then hit me how long it had been since I had checked in to see what was going on. So I started reading up on some posts and came accross Martins thread about where was Blackbeer. Very powerfull. So I knocked off a quick reply before I became overwhelmed with the thoughts it induced.

Depression is the nightmare of my life. What is bad is my absalute lack of fear of death. To me death is a soft cozy mattress of relief. A place I will be able to go and try to figure out just what I was thinking when I picked this life.
Four years ago when my friend drug me off my sailboat and threw me kicking and screaming into the hands of some shrink I was still not ready to except that there was anything wrong with me. When he said I had PTSD my answer was to run. I was, after all, and ex marine and we dont have that kind of stuff. Now I havent studied depression and I realy dont know that much about it but it did occure to me at this point that something was wrong and someone had put a name to it. And maybe there was a reason that for 30 some years I have been shooting myself in the foot. I never let anyone into my life unless they were already there. The friend that pulled me off my boat I had known since grade school. He was also a VietNam vet with PTSD and I might add on full disability for it. So I decided to go to the VVA and see if maybe I could get some help. They of course put me on drugs and set me up with a counseler who told me to apply for VA benafits. Thus began a circus that lasted about 3 years with me finaly giving up on that road. I had no medals, I didnt get shot and like an idiot I refused a Bronze star because by then I knew what was going on there. I wouldnt even let them put it in my record book. The counseler wanted me to talk about the war. The VA wanted me to remember everthing about the war. I didnt. I couldn`t So no VA. That was that.
During that time I discovered Draft horses and I thought I could again reinvent myself(thats what we do, we reinvent ourselves over and over). This time my body let me down after only a couple of years with these magic beasts. Oh did I mention I was still not dealing with my depression.
When our latest attack on humanity started the vortex opened and I fell in. That was that. Very nasty. Last week I was reading some interviews of troops on the ground and I just could not get them out of my head. One in particular brought back many vissions. He was maybe 19 or 20 and was talking about the bodies. I wont go into it but all I could see for this young man was the life I have led for 35 years. I know I am rambling a little here and we all have our demons but again you may not realize how important your input might be to someone you have never met. I am not pulling out of this hole very well this time around and the comments made in this thread and others may help. I am still learning how dangerous this disease is.

Tom

15

Feel free to ramble to us (especially me…you can email me if you want) any time, Tom. And don’t, don’t, don’t, DON’T off yourself. Death isn’t a cozy mattress, it just seems that way when you’re down.

16

Tom:

I wish I could say or do more than this, but you will be in my prayers, friend.

Jim

17

Tom, if only I could flip a switch…how do you weigh what brings you to look into a firearm against how important you are to the people in your life? I’ve been there in my own way, and I still can’t figure it out. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

18

Hi,

I have read your posts and would like you to know that I am praying much for you all.

There is a wonderful book called “How to win over Depression” updated and expanded by Tim LaHaye. It’s one of the best books on the subject.
The ISBN # 0-310-20326-0 and its published by Zondervan.

I honestly believe that this book can and will make a huge difference in your lives.

Peace and a truckload of Blessings to you all

PICM

19

For most of my childhood and young adulthood
the principal question most days was
whether I would commit suicide, and as an adult
I had to deal with severe depression and psychosis.
Did many years of
psychotherapy, sometimes three or four hours
a week. So I have some thoughts about
all this.

I reckon there are lots of people who
are suffering for somatic reasons, but my
feeling (maybe mistaken) is that quite a few
people with primarily psychological problems
are treated with pills. The psychiatric profession
(that is MD psychiatrists) tend to view psychological
problems as somatic, because they can treat
somatic problems, I believe. I had the
good luck to go to people who refused
to medicate me–and though my condition
hurt like hell, I did get well…after 35 years
of being mentally ill.

Generally my friends who are depressed
and medicated have problems in their lives
that they aren’t dealing with that would
depress the hell out of anybody.
Of course they may not have been dealing
with the problems because they were
depressed, not vice versa; but finally
I thought they were depressed because
they wouldn’t deal with the problems.
(Again, I don’t claim that’s everybody,
but many.)

I learned when I got depressed to make a list
of the things I could do that would make
me feel better. Then do them, even if I felt
it’s bound to be useless.

I’ve learned that it’s very hard to find
good counseling, but good counseling is
very valuable. One needs very skillful
people who are deeply committed,
and very tough. They refuse to hold
your hand. People that good and committed
will usually find a way to treat you
even if you’re broke. Also that there
can be considerable value in group
therapy.

But you have to look for them.
Unless you’re lucky, the mental
health system may not refer you
to them.

The good therapist may be a Ph. D. in clinical
psychology, maybe somebody with a
masters in social work. Avoid
trendy stuff.

I’ve learned that how I live each day
is a major factor in how I feel.
Everyday I get some exercise if I
can, I have some fun, and I do
some meaningful work.

Also that a principal way out of
serious mental illness is to cherish
other people. That even if I’m half crazy
I have to play by the same rules
as everybody else, that nobody,
ever, is a special case.

Everybody I’ve ever met who
got well of something really serious,
including people hospitalized,
decided at some point that,
as a friend put it, ‘Nothing can justify
my acting like a prick.’

I’ve learned that the bottom line is that
you have to be willing to fight for your
life. Like the guy who crawls 20 miles
with broken arms and legs after his plane crashes
in the wilderness. Going on living must
come before anything–I would walk
away from my present life tomorrow
if it were necessary to save my life.

If you fight for your life, and you work on
finding good people to help you, you may live
in the fire for a couple of years, but in the
end you will probably be alright. As ever, Jim

20

It’s even harder if you have some money, just not enough. My daughter suffers from a couple of different emotional issues and, when we tried to get help for her we were stymied at every turn…our insurance only covers it if we’re willing and able to go to one of the two child psychiatrists in their network…both of them more than 30 miles away (and, when I called, neither of them taking new patients). It also only covers a limited number of visits. Going out of network is really expensive…her psychiatrist just went up to $200 per 50 minute session (and the therapist she was seeing weekly until last year was $90 per session). We tried to get help from several public resources, but didn’t qualify because we aren’t poor enough. We tried through the public schools, but couldn’t get help because she wasn’t at least two full grades behind in any subject (as a matter of fact, she’s well ahead in most subjects). There was no choice but to bite the bullet and pay, and thank God we had some money in savings from the sale of our house in North Carolina. Our monthly out-of-pocket costs were more than private school tuition, and it ate up our savings pretty quickly. She’s worth it (every penny!), but I don’t know what we would have done if the money hadn’t been there…my husband makes too much money for us to qualify for county health or Medi-Cal, but not enough to pay full price for psychiatric services.

County health services can be a good resource, but you have to watch them carefully. I have had two relatives in care through county health in Spokane, WA, and the results were pretty bad…they basically handed out pills as if they were candy (one of my relatives ended up on a couple of medications that weren’t supposed to be taken together; the other takes a fistfull of pills every day, and even he doesn’t know what they’re for). It’s good this resource is there, if you qualify, but make sure you have someone along with you every time you go who is NOT ill and who can ask questions.

Redwolf