ANIMAL CONTROL
Hawthorne County, Illinois
had to lay off Animal Control officers
Bill McKenty and Frank Hartford
due to the budget.
In no time, the lack of animal control
led to chaos and looting.
Dogs trotted the streets,
evolving quickly into street dogs:
Medium-sized, short haired,
cunning and quick–
The way all dogs were
before we pulled
Poodle and Dachsund Nature
from them by the science
of selective breeding.
Cats rapidly developed long,
curving fangs. They crouched
beneath unkempt shrubs
and pounced on passers-by,
piercing their shoes.
Tropical fish grew large
in the reservoir and their scales
were visible in drinking water.
They dreamed of statues of
deep sea divers and
streams of air bubbles.
Baboons escaped from the zoo,
terrorized citizens.
Invading their homes,
drinking their liquor, and
trying on their clothes.
No other zoo animals survived
The Baboon Wars.
Flocks of parakeets nested overnight
and made mounds of droppings
on suburban vehicles.
By day they burst chattering from trees
and patrolled the skies in swarms
like pixilated pastel clouds.
Those that had been taught to talk,
cursed and taunted their owners
from the sky.
–Dale Wisely 4/03
