my milkshake

Poststructural Pub
1

A friend sent this to me. It’s based on the hit song from a couple years ago. If you’re not familiar, I’m sure it’s on YouTube somewhere.

Original:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they’re like, “It’s better than yours”
Damn right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply ” ‘Tis better than thine…
“Verily, ’tis better than thine!”
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee
Literal:
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attentions of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Haiku:
Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses

2

earworm warning!!!

(this is one of those tunes I hate to admit I like for some bizarre reason)

3

It makes me hungry.

I don’t think it’s supposed to.

4

Geraldine now!
Stop shaking that cow!
For heaven’s sake, for your sake and the cow’s sake,
That’s the dumbest way I’ve seen
to make a milkshake.

Shel Silverstein

5

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply ” ‘Tis better than thine…
“Verily, ’tis better than thine!”
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee

This is Elizabethan English rather than Old English.

6

I know. It’s just how it was emailed to me. People think the KJV is Old English. I hear it all the time. It’s really not.

7

I wish we still said, “verily”. That’s a pretty good word.

8

I wish we still said, “verily”. That’s a pretty good word.

Yes ! “Lo” is a pretty good one too.
Any thoughts on Yea ?

9

Yea is still used in certain contexts.

10

YAY !

11

That’s a good one too. I also like “prithy”

12

Well, forgive me for loaning some seriousness to this thread, but there are a few communities of Wilburite Quakers, mainly in south and eastern Ohio, who have dwindling numbers, who still use KJV English amongst themselves. I know exactly one person my age (early/mid 20s) who is comfortable speaking that way, though. The words I’ve heard her and her family use are “Yea,” “thou/thee,” “unto,” “lo,” and “dost.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say “verily,” but I could have missed it.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

13

We use antiquated English where I come from. I say “unto” and “lo” and a few other expressions which are considered Jacobean. Not "thee and “thou”, more’s the pity, as second person singular is a useful pronoun to have. But we have “you” and “youse” instead, and lo, it serves.

The word I’d like to use IS old English: Sothlice! (meaning “amen”)