Oh boy! Old grizzly bear jokes! I’ve got a couple of those…
How can you tell if bear scat came from a grizzly bear or a black bear? Grizzly bear scat has bear-bells in it. (For those who might not know, bear-bells are small bells meant to be tied onto your shoes to warn bears of your impending arrival. :roll: )
If you’re being chased by a bear at night and you don’t know whether it’s a black bear or a grizzly bear, climb a tree. If the bear climbs up after you and pulls you out, it’s a black bear. If it knocks the tree over and pulls you out, it’s a grizzly.
A hiker was walking a Sierra trail and saw a grizzly approaching from the other direction. Exercising prudence, he shinnies up a tree. The bear bats the tree a few times, then gives up and leaves.
The hiker comes down and resumes his hike, only to see two grizzlies, the first one and a larger one, approaching. He returns to his tree top. The bears shake the tree a bit, then leave.
Hiker returns to ground and starts off - only to meet THREE grizzlies, the first two and their daddy. Up the tree, This time all three shake the tree vigorously, but somehow he holds on. Bears exit stage left.
Hiker gives in, jumps down and heads for his car. Coming down the trail toward him are all three grizzlies - and a beaver.
I like the lawyer version better. It has all the same stuff, but the lawyer has taken his mother hiking. As the bear approaches and the lawyer is putting on his running shoes, his mother says “Son, why bother? You know you can’t outrun a bear.” The lawyer says, “I don’t have to outrun him. I just have to outrun you, Mom.”
