I’m sitting here, back at work in Lincoln, and thinking about Lincoln City’s excellent defeat of local rivals Scunthorpe in last night’s footy. I thought, “Who do I know in Scunthorpe that I can get in touch with and gloat at?”. The sad truth is that the only person I know in Scunny is Dubhlinn. Is he gonna care about the result of a footy match? No chuffin’ chance! How can I gloat properly if I can’t find a gloatee?
What? I don’t think I understand.
I thought somebody died.
It seems to me that the decent thing to do would be for D. to pretend he’s a Scunny fan, at least until you’ve had a jolly good gloat. Or perhaps one of our more compassionate American friends would oblige? It’d only be for a day or two after all.
I’d offer to help, old chap, but since I’m more of a cricket man meself I don’t think I could pass meself off as a football fan. Best I could do is chant the inane “Scummy Gnome” song… you know the one… “Scummy gnome, scummy gnome, football scummy gnome.” I’ve never understood it meself but millions of fanatics apparently do.
If I could help I would. I’m a rugby man myself, tho’, and I’ve never been to Scunthorpe or I’d try to do a Scunthorpe Fan Impression for you.
Am I missing out on much, never haviong been to Scunthorpe? I’ve never heard that ‘scummy gnome’ thing either. Must’ve led a sheltered life.
I know the feeling, mind - the Neath Swansea Ospreys won the Celtic League and there just aren’t any Lanelli Scarlets fans around when you want them. When they win there are swarms about the place. It just isn’t the same when someone else isn’t jealous of your team’s success and wishes that you’d just go away and gloat somewhere else, is it?
Thanks Gary, your Scummy Gnome has quite got me over my Scunny moan.
I would never consider myself to be a Scunny Man but I work with a fair few who were really down in the dumps today.
I try not to get involved in these lunchtime debates but today the crack was mighty when the Lincoln supporters got into their stride..
I do however, happen to know theguy in the bunny costume and apart from his dress sense He is a very clever fellow who drives the minibus that takes the Disabled fans to all the matches and gives up a lot of his free time organising the Disabled supporters Fan Club.
Up the Iron,
D.
Boy I’m happy that I don’t have a lisp or stutter when it comes to pronouncing the town name such as Scunthorpe!
MarkB
John I’d like to help you out, I really would. But, all these years on, I still hold a certain fondness for Oxford United and supporting Scunny, just for a day, would be very hard work.