I just get sick and tired of Lark’s constant bad mouthing of Waldco® products. He posts and he posts, and all of them seem to be badmouthing me. So, I’m instigating a new policy. I will trade you one Waldentone for any two Squistles. This is the best deal you’ll ever get. Act now. This offer can and will be be revoked at any time!
I have not, and will never badmouth Waldco® inferior products, or poor customer service. I will admit to being a chronic poster, as my post count shows, however I make no apologies, but I am sorry about posting so much. And all those wonderful smart (and forgiving people with splinters in there lips) who now own a wood Squistle, will only trade it for a Walden tone if they want free replacements for swizzle sticks. That’s all I have to say…
……Walden smells of elderberries
Oh… yeah… I didn’t realize you were referring to our inferior products. Duly noted.
But fine swizzle sticks they are, unlike the Squistle, which claims to be a whistle, but isn’t even very round!
That is not elderberries, it’s sheepshowers… or was it dandelions? I forget. Been too long since I buried the bottle in the back yard… uh… I mean… uh… I am… uh… a… teetotaler…
Roundness does not make the whistle. I mean, a wooden whistle that wouldn’t whistle isn’t a wooden whistle that you would want to whistle with, wooden or what. With what we want a wooden whistle to whistle like, I wouldn’t whistle with Walden’s whistle.
However……
The Squistle sound is surely so superb, the slight slip in it’s shape student sully the super sighs it slips from someone who surveys it’s sensational sounds. Surely someone slighted by it’s shape, should shake off it’s slant, and sing it’s superb praises.
And yes, it’s elderberry whine…
Tell that to Cooperman!
Oh yeah? Well, you smell of Squistle whine!
Lovely, Lark. Lip-loosening language is largely lost - lucky lurkers to locate lively linguistic looniness labored on by Lark.
Susan (who will state no preference for round or square whistles)
C’mon, now, guys! Put away your waterguns! There has to be an amicable solution!
I have tried both the Waldentone and the Squistle, and I have to say I like them both, although for different reasons.
The Waldentone has a nice, round tone, especially if you use circular breathing when you play.
The Squistle’s tuning is always square-on, even when you are playing a tune with four flats.
You got that right. A friend was playing a high D Squistle, and that’s exactly the key it sounded like. Ab.
Mr. Walden
Waldco Inc.
Boondocks, USA
Sir:
My client, susnfx, has had quite enough of your libellous behavior. You will cease and desist using her photograph in your advertising for Waldco products (which a little bird told her are quite inferior). Either that or you will send her a check for the amount of the increase in your revenues due to said advertising, which she is certain is huge.
Your “friend,”
Bartholomew Benjamin Bratwurst, CLASS (Certified Legal Aid Society Swindler)
(P.S. I do like the look of that whistle-flute thingy, whatever it is. Enclosed is a money order from 7-11 for $3.95 which should cover the cost of the item and shipping. Please send it to my office in a plain brown package with no return address.)
Ah! The refined beauty of the Waldentone! Charms even the solicitor at law into acquiring one!
A perfect solution. You both need to send ME some whistles to compare. After sufficient study, say 3 or 4 years, I’ll be glad to write a comparison 
What ever have you folks been eating (drinking, smoking, etc.) in the chat room lately? I want some! 
Sara
Mr Walden Waldco Sir,
you sold me a WaldenDiatone, and while it looks just as advertised, I have a minor planxty to inquire about:
Are you positively sure a Diatonic instrument has just two equally mean tones ?
Here’s your product, so you make sure we do talk of the same model and release:
This sound clip may help you check if my WaldenDiatone sounds normally.
To Mr Dark in the Dawning
I just acquired one of your “Roxanna” Larkettes, and the fingering chart missed in the pack.
Btw: is it diatonic or gintonic ?
Oh, but of course! It’s the special food we got from the Crystal People! 
“Were it not for the Waldentone, I might never have entered the world of traditional music.” --Seamus O’Geezer
“The soothing sounds of the Waldentone have calmed the nerves of many a poor child, initiating the healing process.” --St. Almus the Orphansaver
“I love the tone and depth of the Squistle. It recreates, in a vivid way that few have parallelled, the plaintive song of a lovelorn alleycat.” --Yoko Ono
Yes, Mr. Zubivka, studies have shown that just the two tones are more than most people want out of this instrument.
I’m amazed that no one has yet figured out where the Crystal People reside. Think about it: if you unscramble the letters of “Crystal People,” then add a couple of letters and take away a couple of letters, it spells “CHAT ROOM.”
Susan
TWIMC: Can you recommend the above-mentioned products as stockingstuffers?
Interestingly enough, it can also spell, “a eel slop crypt.”
Of course, if it did spell that I’d have to accuse it of abominable grammar.