Ever seen that T-shirt with the slogan “Don’t force me to add another name to the list of people who piss me off”?
What I’d like from this board is a feature to help me do just that.
My problem is that as I get older, losing neurons, and having to remember hundreds of PINs and passwords and the like, I forget names and entire conversations. Also I’m just not so good at harbouring grudges as I used to be. Not to mention the incredible numbers of people who hang out here and contribute to the many inflammatory and invidious threads (you know, like do expensive whistle make you play better, is the US president a closet frisbee player, etc.)
So I read an innocuous comment by some poster with a name that looks familiar and think, I agree with that. Heck that’s even funny. But hang on - isn’t that the unspeakable moron who votes Rhino party or who posted all those comments about being in favour of the freedom to carry Chieftains, or who made a jibe about my 1000th comment in favour of cheap and nasty whistles. Damn I really can’t remember.
I need a button that I can click when I read something I Do Not Hold With. In future a flashing flaming recorder icon would pop up next to the person’s name with a message: “This person pisses you off!”
Wait a minute… Aren’t you the guy who kept posting pictures of your marsupials (I’m allergic, you know), who said “What good is a whistle if it doesn’t play?” and told everyone that Quebecois is one of these yummy European chocolate spread? Didn’t you once say that Dale Wisely is probably a fat man with religious leanings and a penchant for poetry? You know what, you piss me off.
Why don’t you do what I do, and just stay pissed at everyone and everything all the time? That way you don’t have to make a list, lists piss me off too you know. This lifestyle has its advantages, like you are allowed to cut in front of people in the grocery store line, and you don’t have to send out “Happy Birthday” cards or attend anyone’s wedding or make annoying visits to the nursing home to visit your auntie. But, you might have to start taking high blood pressure medications, the only drawback as far as I can tell.
It would only be fair then to have a window that pops up notifying you that “You’ve been added to this person’s ‘She Pisses Me Off’ list.” This way, you could have tons o’ fun doing more stuff that would piss him/her off. You could have the satisfaction of telling the same-key whistle marriage proponents to go read their sheet music and the right-wing (or left-wing - depending on your wing preference) Overton owners to go tweak themselves.
I like this idea.
Susan
steve,
in your case, i would consider it a blessing to forget about the inflammatory and invidious threads, and all the names off people who piss you off
(if there’s a thread i don’t like, i just stop reading it and i forget about it very quickly too )
From: Chiffboard/admin
To: susnfx
This is to inform you that you have been added to Bloomfield’s “He/She/Cran Pisses Me Off List”. No action is required on your part. And no holds barred now, since he’s pissed anyway, let the shmuck have it.
Thank you for being a member of the Chiff & Fipple community.
You’ve always had delusions of grandeur, Bloomfield. Here you are now pretending like you’ve got Authority…sending out memos and the like. Taking flying lessons so you can take over DaleForce One???
Let’s see…what could have made you add me to your “She Pisses Me Off” list? Was it my stance on Enya and her commie gun control proclivities? Could it have been my thoughts about U-pipe players who sing while playing? Let me know what upset you and I’ll carry on!
(heehee…this is fun…)
Susan
Yer post reminded me of a metaphor I heard the other day that I really like. You mentioned grudges and trying to remember who you are pissed at. If you are forgetting, that’s a good thing. Because:
“Holding a grudge is like taking poison everyday and waiting for the other guy to die.”
That said, I never experienced the kind of POTENTIAL bitterness that I have in the last few years, as I get older and got knocked pretty hard by a few life events. I am starting to understand why people look the way they do, carry themselves and have such bitterness in their speech and other communications.
As for ways to sort of prep yerself, I like Larry’s approach. Although he has already used the moniker, MADGUY is great. You just figure he’s at a hair trigger, ready to go. You don’t even have to say, as I do, “Dooooon’t get me started.” FWIW, “Falling Down” with Michael Douglas, is one of my favorite movies. Especially since I am currently, “economically unviable.”
When you have to ask yourself, “Waitaminit, aren’t I supposed to mad at him/her?”, it’s time to revise the old philosophy. Unless they are asking you for money.
Free advice from an expert at pissin’ people off and, likely on yer list for divergent political opinions.
I think this is a great idea! To save time, it should start already pre-populated with every C&F member, then we could simply erase the ones who give us free whistles or lavish us with the praise we deserve.
See how many misunderstandings arise from reading between the lines? All that time I was simply keeping silent in the face of greater knowledge, wisdom, and experience.
My wife and I are both avid birders, and students of natural history and animal behavior (my wife’s degree is in animal behavioral biology, in fact). So we love, well, watching birds, observing their behavior, that sort of thing.
Last weekend we were hiking the hills near our house, binoculars in hand, seeing such sights as a pair of ravens doing loops, and folding their wings and falling toward the earth, only to spread their wings again at the last minute and head back up, and so on. Lots of raptors that day, too; a generally good bird day.
So this couple walks up to us, also laden with binoculars and a spotting scope, and they start asking us, “So what’s that bird there? And that one? How about that hawk up there, is it a sharpie or a Cooper’s?”, on and on. So we answer them, and as we identified each bird for them, they just put a checkmark next to that species’ name on a preprinted checklist. Never watched a bird for longer than it took to ID the thing, these people. When we pointed out the acrobatic ravens, the fellow looked for a second and said, “Huh. Thought those were crows”, and flipped through his list to put a check next to “Raven”. Then they walked off, tallying the day’s “take”. Bet they missed the rare wildflowers along the trail, too.
So: people who keep lists piss me off. Now you’re on mine, Steve.
–Aaron
(Who does sometimes wish there was the equivalent of a killfile on web-based message boards, like there is on newsgroups . . .)
Stacey, at the risk of ending up on your list, have you looked really closely at your avatar just as it begins the transition from your face to the text?..
This is quite an epiphany for me. Many of us who live south of Vermont were unaware that Canadians got pissed off about anything, except perhaps for when the Habs lose.
Nano, I think you’re in trouble, because if you put yourself on your list, you might retaliate by putting yourself on your list, and that’s just gonna get confusing.
)
Can’t have enough work to do Bloomie 
